Acceptance?

The accepting/agreeing with thoughts people mention has always been confusing to me and a barrier, if you’re having thoughts that are completely out of character or immoral how do you agree with them? I’d be scared of convincing myself i am whatever the thoughts are if I’m agreeing with them, or is that supposed to be part of the process? Am i misunderstanding what that means? I’ve definitely dissociated because of my intrusive thoughts too (from the stress of it, and fighting in my head 24/7 being exhausting), as in a bit emotionally numb and not present, so it seems even harder to “accept” them when i’ve been more-so intellectualizing these thoughts than feeling extreme emotion about it all the time

Rae0fsun

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 8d

It’s about accepting the presence of the thoughts and that you can’t control them. Also accepting the possibility of the thoughts not that the thought for sure means something is going to happen. You don’t have to figure out what every thought means. That ultimately ends up in more suffering because it’s a compulsion

Megan27

Date posted: 7d

@Rae0fsun Thank you! When accepting thoughts being there do you like say anything in your mind or just ignore it? Like do you say anything along the lines of “who cares?” or i’ve heard “maybe, maybe not” used a lot? Or do you simply allow it to be there? I just don’t really know if i should be directly confronting the thoughts or not lol

Rae0fsun

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 7d

@megan.pollina You can really use whatever resonates for you! The point of non engagement responses is to remind you to not engage and then move on with your day so just make sure you’re not using them compulsively like repeating, saying them just right etc. I think the goal is not to confront necessarily but once you notice yourself getting caught on a thought to divert engaging and doing compulsions after using a NER. Here’s some that work for me: “That is one possibility of many!” “love that for me!” “Maybe baby!” “lol cool” “K”

Megan27

Date posted: 7d

@Rae0fsun Thank you again 😊 i will try to implement that I do just kinda have a problem with not being angry or disgusted by the thoughts though, like if i’m not feeling either of those things i question if i’m against it and it keeps the doubt going lol. When you accept thoughts are you denying the feeling of disgust/being against it too? If so does that mean you can’t feel those things again or else it’ll be a trigger? Like i’d miss feeling sure about my feelings AGAINST stuff lol

Megan27

Date posted: 7d

@Rae0fsun I think originally my OCD “started” because of being so against certain political stuff and i started questioning those things i was against, but i feel so grounded when i do feel angry about things (to an extent) because i feel like i’ve set my morals myself

Rae0fsun

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 7d

@megan.pollina You know your values, OCD is going to try and convince you otherwise. It’s super important to just not figure out any feelings or thoughts. Spending time dwelling over feeling guilty over thoughts is just fueling the fire by giving them more meaning than they deserve. You can acknowledge that you feel yucky bc that’s just part of life and the process of being triggered sometimes. Try and resist the urge to ruminate on the why and practice self compassion because we don’t have control over our thoughts or feelings Another great NER when you’re caught up on the feelings is “feelings aren’t facts”

Rae0fsun

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 7d

@Rae0fsun I’ve noticed that my progress tends to stall when I get frustrated with my OCD and spend time letting myself feel bad about the thoughts I’m having

Nica

Date posted: 8d

You have to accept the thoughts, images, and feelings being present as you go about your day. You also have to accept you won’t truly know why they pop up, why OCD is even a thing, etc. That is living with uncertainty.

Megan27

Date posted: 7d

@Nica Thank you!

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