please advice

I know OCD can be very hard to deal with, but this post is seeking reassurance, which only makes things worse. If you are not in ERP therapy with an OCD specialist, please look into getting professional help so you can get better. Here are some helpful tools and resources to help you through this: -What is OCD? Explained by Nathan Peterson: https://youtu.be/eeTFME9mOMc?feature=shared -The Psychology of Seeking Reassurance: https://www.treatmyocd.com/blog/reassurance-seeking-ocd-anxiety-how-to-stop-cycle -5 Things To Do Other Than Compulsions: https://www.treatmyocd.com/blog/five-things-to-do-instead-of-compulsions -Stopping Rumination’s Tough! Video by Nathan Peterson: https://youtu.be/CkcspsmLh9k?feature=shared -Somatic OCD & How To Treat It? https://www.treatmyocd.com/blog/what-is-somatic-ocd -What is Rumination? https://www.treatmyocd.com/blog/the-rumination-trap -Confessing compulsion vs. healthy sharing: https://www.treatmyocd.com/blog/ocd-compulsive-confession-vs-healthy-sharing -What’s Pure O OCD? https://www.verywellmind.com/pure-o-primarily-obsessional-ocd-4159144 -What is an OCD backdoor spike? https://www.treatmyocd.com/what-is-ocd/info/ocd-stats-and-science/backdoor-spikes-how-to-deal-with-sudden-ocd-episodes -Intrusive Thoughts: Images, Sensations, and Stories by Dr. Martin Seif: https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/living-with-a-sticky-mind/202305/unwanted-intrusive-thoughts-images-sensations-and-stories -Therapy in a Nutshell’s Playlist on Panic Attacks: https://youtube.com/playlist?list=PLiUrrIiqidTWhubkHEJcr6iTLVRxXZmPE&feature=shared -OCD vs. GAD Differences: https://ocdla.com/ocd-vs-gad-7071 -How To Stop Rumination Video: https://youtu.be/CkcspsmLh9k?feature=shared -ERP scripting: https://www.shalanicely.com/aha-moments/erp-scripting-for-ocd/ -Forgiveness for Past Mistakes Video: https://youtu.be/2Lq1Su3mEHw?feature=shared -The Hidden Power of Swearing at Your OCD: https://www.psychologytoday.com/intl/blog/beyond-the-doubt/201711/the-hidden-power-of-swearing-at-your-ocd -Taking The Power Away From OCD: https://www.treatmyocd.com/blog/taking-the-power-away-from-intrusive-thoughts -ERP Worry Script: https://www.anxietycanada.com/sites/default/files/WorryScript.pdf -What is ERP therapy? https://iocdf.org/about-ocd/ocd-treatment/erp/ -What’s An OCD Trigger? https://psychcentral.com/ocd/what-is-an-ocd-trigger -Grounding Techniques: https://www.therapistaid.com/worksheets/grounding-techniques -OCD vs. Anxiety Disorders: https://www.talkspace.com/mental-health/conditions/articles/ocd-vs-anxiety/ -ERP Techniques for Reassurance video: https://youtu.be/D1O3RGnLjRM?feature=shared