DIY ERP, proud of me ! <3 OCD isn't happy, I am .

Went to a birthday celebration with my mom's friend, it wasn't a party or anything more so of a gathering. I felt awkward at first and struggled to speak, but I grew to feel more comfortable. But instead of making an entire storytime I'll just list of things that triggered me and how I dealt with it ! Trigger #1: One asked me if I had a partner currently, mostly since tomorrow is Valentines Day. I remember telling her when I was in a discovery phase that I wasn't straight, now I am straight/demi and Soocd got really triggered because I was asked "partner" and not boyfriend. My real Event OCD got triggered as well from my first relationship (which I've mentioned before, has traumatized me) but instead of saying or doing anything to attempt to "reassure me" I just said "no no no haha" and left it as that. Completely uncertain. "^.^ I may seem gay which that isn't true, but it's not a sin if I was so... oh well if that thought is the case. Trigger #2 (aka most memorable one): I Was told a little kid is coming over, POCD was grinning. I was nervous and even said "Ok, I'm not really a baby person lol.. I'm not good with kids whatsoever" and so the kid came. He is barely a toddler. Me and a member at the gathering was left with the kid to take care of for a while and I said, "haha left it with the two people who doesn't know how to deal with kids. 😅" But oh well, we decided to watch Mickey Mouse with him and as time passed my, my OCD sort of dimmed temporarily.. I began to talk to the kid and make silly gestures. I pointed at things from the video and gave words of encouragement each time he said something. I was then told: "Ok, what do you mean you're not good with kids? You are really GOOD with kids!" I had a suprised smile and it's like my OCD took offense by it. That sort of led to me playing with the kid even when I didn't have to anymore, he played with my bracelets and watched Mickey Mouse as I let him be on my lap. We played peekaboo for a few minutes and we looked at silly filters on Instagram. At one point he began to feel really comfortable and sleepy on me. Etc. I felt like I was no longer crazy, I got to finally see who I really was as a person for once. I was taken pictures of with the little boy in my arms. He was super cute..! --- When I had to leave, the baby began to point towards me and cried. I felt my eyes began to slightly watered suddenly and I waved bye to him. Wow. Huh... Yes my OCD still gave me awful intrusive thoughts at some point, I had scary thoughts such as "What if the baby saw something offensive on my phone? Uh oh that Instagram sticker is odd I'm scared I traumatized him somehow... ugh, did everyone think I was weird? I was awkward, I think?" Which DO NOT answer !!! I didn't answer, and I didn't listen to my mind, I just shook my head and continued on. Oh well if it's true. <:") Ehh ehh you see me sitting with uncertainty again ? 🌝✨️ But uhm.. I'm happy with how this afternoon went and it left me feeling a certain way. OCD makes me feeling a heartless girl and a monster, I never feel as gentle anymore and I feel as if I don't have a sweet heart. But times like these reminds me that OCD is wrong, I am a gentle being. <3