I need help managing OCD please!

I need help managing it. I am in my mid teens: almost entering late teens. I feel doomed. Eternal doom and severe panic when having an intrusive thought. I believe my parents are my biggest source of anxiety and trauma. I canNOT make any social mistakes in front of my parents because they are just not the people who will ever understand me. Since childhood I was scared of not being perfect because of my parents; This ended in me just freezing and being the "beyond-introvert" . Every time I disappointed my parents it ended with silent treatment, ultimatums, calling me names, and making harsh global statements about me. I once had a catastrophic social disaster revolving around being creepy sometime ago. It was unintentional but was in front of my parents and extended family. Since then my life has been derailed and I have no one that understands me. I feel I walk on eggshells everytime I have a conversation /in-front-of my parents/someone who knows my parents before me/ . I used to be scared of all social scenarios before but now I can handle professional conversations (doctors, eg.) or personal ones where my parents (or someone who knows them) aren't involved. Although I still deeply fear about any /conversation/social interaction/ in my mind. Now it's at this point where I think I can't go any longer and just want to completely shut down and not try and accept that my life is destroyed. I have thoughts mostly about future scenarios: that can be 1 minute into the future or decades. Every thought scares me. Even as I am writing this I am having the thought where I am talking to you (reader) even though you do not want to engage and I am being delusional and creepy and it's extremely unbearably cringe and I can't end anything -- not suffering, not being cringe, not that conversation in my head, or even this sentence. I hate it. I have been trying grounding and not fighting the thought. 'maybe, maybe not' . They do work to some extent and have given me relief but I can't go any further. I am so scared of everything and it all feels so scary and painful and I do not want to lose control and become a perverted cringey person so I avoid everything. Now I am spiralling again... It is all so bad please help me because I feel like I am literally dying and therapy is not an option right now.

DrewHolland74

Date posted: 3d

Look you're not alone, chill lol. There's many of us who have went to the depths of hell pertaining this same exact mental health condition. You're still young so you've never heard of the Truman Show, imagine suffering from your or should I say our disorder only to be put in predicaments that increase the disorder while manifesting others. Imagine having the most perverse thoughts imaginable that you find severely repulsive and it's all intrusive then picture the nightmare where not only are you repulsed by these thoughts but your mind is an open book so now complete strangers could potentially believe whatever whacked out, disgusting thing that pops up. Or worse you have repeated phrases OCD that have nothing to do with what you've done or your train of thought to begin with and your brain just goes in program mode and it can't be beat. You go into self isolation, abuse alcohol and substances just to escape the lies, and the very same people that are driving you into insanity are the ones promoting your negative behavior and blaming you for acting the way you do. All I'm saying is you're going to be okay. If I went through what you're going through at your age and now had it multiplied by a million. You can handle this! Don't look into the negative aspects of what's going on. Look at what can assist you into your journey in recovering from this horrible diagnosis. Get medication, my meds are what is getting me by but your mental health has alot to do with your food intake. Believe it or not those two do correlate. I haven't worked out in going on 4 years but I'm about to start back due to the mental health benefits that alone provides. Reduces stress, anxiety and by reducing those two you'll be reducing your OCD because it is an anxiety induced disorder. Control your anxiety and you'll control your OCD far easier. I don't push my belief system on anyone because it's in our genetic code to want to rebel when something is forced. Just believe you got some help throughout all of this. Because you do. Have a blessed day kiddo

Danie-Rae

Date posted: 2d

Listen….you’re gonna be ok,kid! Your life is NOT OVER! It’s barely started. There isn’t one adult in this world who didn’t have a “cringe moment” or continue to. Dealing with difficult parents is also something most people deal or have dealt with. Maybe family therapy is an option? Just do the best you can and eventually you’ll be able to get out on your own and you’ll see it’s not all bad.

Anonymous

Date posted: 2d

I know it is not that bad and I know it likely will be fine. Family therapy is not an option. I still hate it and I am so tired. I can't do anything because of OCD it is so severe. My teen age years are running out and if I do not study now then I will have a terrible life non the less. I can not stop crying. I cannot stop feeling tired. Each and every one of my thoughts is so bad. I keep thinking if it will ever end. I can't stop worrying about being cringe in the future and ruining my life, again. I can't stop worrying about worrying. This all feels so much and my head is aching. It feels so urgent and overwhelming. I can understand that every one has had and continues to have cringe moments but they can reflect. What if I can't? What if I become ignorant when I have a cringe moment and not realise? I mean my thought keeps getting worse and worse. Just nothing is working and I am completely shutting down. I can't find relief and I do not know why I even made this reply. I am sorry. Do you have any thing or technics to manage the thoughts better because it is all so unbearable.

DrewHolland74

Date posted: 2d

@Anonymous Go to a doctor, counseling isn't for everyone. Some of us come out of it on our own with medicinal assistance. Explain what's going on to a mental health physician and get some "chill pills". Then begin making lifestyle changes. But if you're going through it like this at your age. Go see a doctor. Medicine does help.

Danie-Rae

Date posted: 2d

@Anonymous I was like you. Obviously not exactly the same but I had severe depression/anxiety. That’s what they labeled it but they didn’t realize then that I also had OCD. That was fueling it. I’m glad you’re able to recognize it early bc that will help you find the right treatment. I’m sorry you’re going through it. It’s really tough. I don’t have tactics for a teen going through it but therapy does. I have 💯 faith you will get through this. You have survived 100 percent of your issues so far…you can do this.

Steven55!

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 3d

I'm so sorry you're going through this. Adolescence is tough enough without having to deal with OCD. I know; I was there. Do you think your parents would get you professional help? NOCD has some videos on YouTube designed to help family members to understand OCD and what you're experiencing. Do you think they would watch one?

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