Office Work

I work an office job, and I'm really struggling to be in the physical office on non-hybrid days. I'm fine when I'm at home, but when I'm in office, I have these off-the-ear headphones? It's so that people don't startle me when they walk up behind me and need my attention, so I can still hear, but then I /hear/ everyone. And I can't /not/ have my music because either then I'm bored, or I can hear them and can't focus on work, or I can only just barely hear them and just make up what they're saying. I can't turn /other people/ off and my brain keeps telling me how they're talking about me, or they're laughing at me, or they know I'm doing something awful that I don't realize I'm even doing. I'm doing something wrong and they're going to tell someone and I'm going to get fired and walked out of the building even though my fiance is literally sitting right next to me and neither of us are in trouble. I just end up so exhausted and anxious every time I'm in here, it's so hard to force myself. This is the first day I've actually even made it, and I'm chest-tight and tummy-flipping anxious listening to everyone around me instead of paying attention to my work or anything. sorry, I probably shouldn't bother anyone with this stuff. It's not helpful and everyone here has their own issues they're dealing with.

Anonymous

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 17h

Mandatory three days in with two-hour commute each way on a good day for me. Hate it.

Cedrial

Date posted: 17h

@Anonymous I wouldn’t be able to function. You’re a literal hero haha :)

Endlessly Po...

Date posted: 23h

I think a lot of us relate. in office days add a lot of stress and anxiety. How many days do you need to go in?

Cedrial

Date posted: 23h

3 times a week. Tuesday through Thursday. If you can average 2/week in a month, you're fine. I'm just scared because we're moving the main office even further soon. My commute is 45 minutes as it is, and now it'll be 1 and a half hours there and then back, so doubled once we move. I'm already scared enough and limit car exposure because while I may be able to drive, other people aren't really trustworthy behind a wheel ( lol ), plus then I'm trapped there and can't escape cause my fiance and I only have the one car and both work together. Sorry, it's just exhausting and I hate venting to my fiance because she is so normal and doesn't understand? But she really wants to, and I can see how much it frustrates her. I worry about her growing to resent me. orz

Endlessly Po...

Date posted: 23h

@Cedrial Totally get it -3h round trip to work would stress anyone out. If only 2x a week is required, maybe just do that?

Cedrial

Date posted: 23h

@Endlessly Pondering - I just got a new boss ( or technically will get him in April ). I'm going to try to have a candid conversation about that and see if I can swing coming in on M/F when there's fewer people in? That's what I'm hoping for.

Endlessly Po...

Date posted: 23h

@Cedrial Great idea, I go in Monday and Tuesday just to get it over with. It’s the worst when it hangs over your head all week.

hanysm@gmail...

Date posted: 16h

@Cedrial First don't apologize, because you said or did nothing that requires an apology. Secound, You’re actually handling things better than you might think by being aware of your limits and trying to balance exposure instead of avoiding completely. That’s a healthy sign. Even if you only manage two days a week, that’s still effort and progress. And I get what you mean about your fiancé, it’s hard when someone loves you but can’t quite “feel” what OCD is like. The fact that she wants to understand is already huge, though. You’re both trying, just from different angles, and that matters more than perfect understanding. Hanging there, just know you still strong inside and things will get better slowly, but surely.

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