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- 5y
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- 5y
I hate HOCD so much I feel like I’m a lesbian in denial
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- 5y
I know it sounds hard but as a previous HOCD sufferer I am able to live again because of ERP
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- 5y
I currently have a boyfriend and we’ve been together for a very long time. We could very well end up getting married and having HOCD makes me worry about my future with him
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- 5y
What did u do during ERP?
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- 4w
i have a question if u dm asking when u recovered with erp do u feel like normal and straight again like how u was pre hocd?
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- 5y
Yea yes and yes
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- 5y
Is It like normal to worry about it but like not be as anxious any more I’m on medication so my reactions aren’t as heightened
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- 5y
@cloudqueen That’s me right now too, and I think it’s because I’ve been with it for so long
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- 5y
But in order to treat this you must not seek reassurance from people
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- 5y
You need to accept that you could be a lesbian and move on
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- 5y
This sounds terrifying, because I don’t want to accept whether or not I could be. I just want to be a normal straight 22 year old being in a happy relationship with my boyfriend.
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- 5y
I did it once and it felt like self torture I don't want to be someone I'm not just. Even thinking about it makes me distressed
Related posts
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- 17w
I feel I have HOCD FOR MORE THAN 10 years now. Basically all my ocd started since me and my husband started dating for real…. Will it ever go away? Will I ever be happy? Will I ever know? I don’t know… How long for you? Edit for me it’s more SO OCD cause I think I’m bisexual
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- 16w
I’ve been struggling with HOCD for years, and it started with an intrusive thought about being gay when I was younger. It came up at age 12 and ever since, I’ve been trapped in a cycle of doubt and anxiety. I obsess over whether or not I’m secretly gay, even though I don’t feel that way at all. What makes it worse is the fear that I might have internalized homophobia, and that’s why I’m having these obsessive thoughts. I worry that my anxiety is a sign that I’m repressing something or rejecting part of myself. It feels like my mind keeps repeating the same question—am I gay?—and no matter how much reassurance I get, the fear doesn’t go away. I used to pray for my family members, fearing that if I didn’t, something bad would happen to them, and now it feels like I have to control these thoughts, or something will go wrong. For a while, it was quieter, but a week ago, the thoughts spiraled up again, and now the anxiety feels overwhelming again. It’s exhausting, and I don’t know how to break free from this constant loop of doubt. Has anyone dealt with the fear of internalized homophobia alongside HOCD? How do you manage the anxiety that comes with it?
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- 11w
I really need help understanding what I’m going through. For a long time now, I’ve been struggling with thoughts and feelings about women that confuse and scare me. Sometimes I feel this strange emotional or mental ‘pull’ toward certain women — it’s not exactly sexual, and not clearly romantic either, but it feels like something, and it triggers deep anxiety. When I see a beautiful woman or a WLW (woman-loving-woman) couple, I feel something that I can’t explain — sometimes I think it’s just admiration or aesthetic appreciation, but OCD keeps telling me: “You felt something, so you must be gay,” or “You’re hiding something.” I get stuck in endless loops, trying to analyze these moments and label them. Even when I feel physical or emotional reactions, they don’t feel natural or aligned with who I am. They feel like a reaction to the idea of women, not real attraction. I try to be honest with myself — I even told a friend I might be bisexual at some point, just to test if that felt more comfortable. But it didn’t. It made things worse, and I felt like I lost touch with who I am. I don’t want to lie to myself or live in denial, but I’m exhausted. It feels like I’m being mentally forced to feel something that isn’t mine. I’m 14, and I understand that things might still be developing, but I can’t help feeling like I’ve always been drawn to men, and never naturally wanted women that way. Still, I keep doubting everything. Is this real attraction or OCD feeding false feelings and thoughts? Can OCD create emotional or mental sensations that feel like desire? I’m so scared that I’ll lose myself, or find out something I never wanted. I just want peace and to feel like myself again.
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