Can ocd be toward the fear of people seeing you as lesbian and then having it manifest to fear that you are and always have been lesbian? Because I’ve been dealing with HOCD since the 8th grade and I’m currently 21 about to be 22 next month. I don’t even know anymore. I feel like my mind is just tangled up with mixed emotions and fears and anxiety. I suffer from POCD every once in a while but it’s not as bad as my HOCD, and I’m guessing that’s because I went to therapy as soon as I started with POCD because I thought I was a danger to children. Also, it wasn’t until my POCD started that I was diagnosed with ocd and then later came to realize that my HOCD from my 8th grade year and the random fall backs I had about HOCD were OCD.

I've suffered with OCD for 50 years with many different themes. SOOCD is my primary theme, and no matter which theme I may be in the middle of it always comes back to SOOCD. I'm back in therapy because after a couple of really good years, I've been in the middle of a flare up. My new therapist with NOCD, recently asked me what my core fear about homosexuallity is. I can't seem to answer that. The only answer that I can come up with, is that it is just egotistic. I'm a heterosexual man who loves my wife and raised three great kids. My question is, have. any ofyou ever been able to answer that question. I would appreciate any thoughts on this question. Thank you and have a great day.

So basically I didn’t know till my hocd started. But looking back at my life I had ocd since I was a kid. Like 6-7 years old. First time happening I remember that when I was doing stuff many times I had to say something like a little poem in my head to stop it. Then I had this thing were if I felt my left foot touch the floor 5 times I had to do the touch the floor with my right foot too. Then I had something I guess contamination??? Basically after washing my hands I had a sensation on my hand like I could still “feel” the germs and I had to wash them again. Then I started having thoughts of my family members getting hurt. I had intrusive thoughts about me hurting my dog. Then I had this obsession that a guy who used to be in my school is looking for me to beat me up. And how it’s this obsession about my sexuality even tho I never doubted or questioned it before. Is that possible??? Like can you be born with it? I’m pretty sure both my parents have it too. At least at some level. Take my father for example he had an obsession that he was going to die the moment he turned 30.

I need too know that I'm not insane, really. I am 16 and for the past two weeks, this has been completely ruining my health and happiness. I only recently came out as a lesbian like 3 months ago after a lot of confusion about my attraction since I used to think I liked men. At first, I felt so sure that I liked women, but lately, I've been having these unwanted thoughts about the possibility of liking men. I never used to feel this way, but now, every time I look at a man, my brain obsessively fixates on it. It forces me to imagine kissing him, loving him, things I don’t want, and then tries to convince me that I do. It’s painful. The thought of this fills me with fear and anxiety, leading to panic attacks and breakdowns. I don’t want these thoughts. I hate them with every fiber of my being, but I’m terrified that one day I’ll act on them and somehow like it. I used to think I liked men, but back then, I was in a very unhealthy space in a time of escapism and something deeply parasocial. I’ve only ever liked the attention and validation a man could give me, but these experiences are somehow treated as further proof that I’m "bisexual." I’ve never been in a real relationship with anyone, which makes my brain constantly challenge me—telling me, “You don’t even know what love feels like.” It won’t shut up. It keeps obsessively trying to make me prove that I’m a lesbian, testing my reactions and questioning my certainty. Is this normal?