Can ocd be toward the fear of people seeing you as lesbian and then having it manifest to fear that you are and always have been lesbian? Because I’ve been dealing with HOCD since the 8th grade and I’m currently 21 about to be 22 next month. I don’t even know anymore. I feel like my mind is just tangled up with mixed emotions and fears and anxiety. I suffer from POCD every once in a while but it’s not as bad as my HOCD, and I’m guessing that’s because I went to therapy as soon as I started with POCD because I thought I was a danger to children. Also, it wasn’t until my POCD started that I was diagnosed with ocd and then later came to realize that my HOCD from my 8th grade year and the random fall backs I had about HOCD were OCD.

I currently have a boyfriend and we’ve been together for a very long time. We could very well end up getting married and having HOCD makes me worry about my future with him

What did u do during ERP?

i have a question if u dm asking when u recovered with erp do u feel like normal and straight again like how u was pre hocd?

Is It like normal to worry about it but like not be as anxious any more I’m on medication so my reactions aren’t as heightened

@cloudqueen That’s me right now too, and I think it’s because I’ve been with it for so long

This sounds terrifying, because I don’t want to accept whether or not I could be. I just want to be a normal straight 22 year old being in a happy relationship with my boyfriend.

I did it once and it felt like self torture I don't want to be someone I'm not just. Even thinking about it makes me distressed