Did anyone had weird experiences with their cousins when you were younger? I remember having this weird experience with my F cousing when we were both 13, and it's eating me alive with guilt and I just feel like I shouldn't exist
You are not alone! It’s so easy to feel the shame but realize you didn’t do anything wrong. Imagine someone confided in you about your same fears and shame. Would you degrade them or tell them they were awful? I don’t think so. You would probably extend them way more empathy and understanding, so do the same for yourself,please. Don’t go through this alone, so many people have similar experiences/feelings that you do. Reach out to your therapist and talk it through with them. You won’t regret it. It’s terrifying and your brain will convince you that the worst will happen, but don’t listen to it. I hope you find some peace and healing soon.
I do have (and had) friends who shared me their same experiences with cousins! And I felt relieved that I wasn't the only one. I'm a F(17) at the moment and I don't really have a therapist (and my own money to have one) so it's very difficult to deal with the anxiety and the thoughts of being a horrible person for those experienciences :c I just really hope I didn't hurt her or that she didn't hurt me, I read that these type of experiences are often common at those ages, knowing that and your support it's kinda of keeping me alive but the ocd it's still attacking with "what if..." 😞😞
@Se3ther I’m sorry you’re going through this. I’ve definitely experienced similar fears. OCD what ifs are hard, even harder without a specialist. Just try responding to these thoughts with a different approach. Instead of immediate panic, checking, rumination, reassurance, delay your reaction. Recognize what you’re feeling but don’t give into your fears, sit in the discomfort. It’s so hard and is easier said than done but there are great resources that help guide you through response prevention. I struggle with the possibility that I could’ve hurt someone, my therapist tells me to wait for it. Wait for someone to tell you directly “hey you’ve hurt me” and take it from there. Don’t live in fear of that possibility, be open to it and live your life as normal until that day may or may not come. There are great ocd recovery resources online, I really like NOCD’s panic button, it guides you through how to use erp and grounding exercises when you’re struggling. You’re not alone, you deserve recovery! Good luck and I wish you the best on you’re journey!
@Yazzyjazz Don’t mean to hop in with the two of you but Yazzyjazz is giving really great advice here that really is super applicable for so much OCD problems, especially ones from childhood! Thank you for that because it’s a good reminder even for us who have more experience dealing with these things.
@Boognish Thank you! I’m happy I can help. OCD has really impacted my life for years now and at times the only thing that has saved me was advice from other people struggling too. I truly don’t know where I would be without these support systems. That’s why I want to extend that same support for others, because I was the same and know how difficult it is. Sometimes I don’t feel qualified enough to give advice because I’m still new to ocd, was recently diagnosed, and still in the process of healing, but I will always try to support in the best way I can. Thank you for this, I’m glad I could help! It’s always a battle but we will continue to heal☺️❤️
@Yazzyjazz Thank you, I'll take your therapist advice! I didn't know about the panic button, it's really hard to "stay" in discomfort because I often search for an answer, like I need to know that I'm still a good person and I didn't hurt anyone, or if anyone had live these experiences too that gives me reassurance that I'm not alone in this :c Thanks for all the help, I'll take everyone advices !!
Yes; it’s surprisingly not uncommon. Time heals imperfectly but it really does heal these things from adolescence—cousin and I are still close even some 20 years later!
Oh that's cool! I'm still younger tho (17 rn) but I hope time helps me heal these experiences. Thanks for your help and everyone too !!
@Se3ther Lifetime of difference between 13 and 17! And between 17 and your 20s onward!
Not a cousin but my best friend. We were both 7 at the time and I believe my OCD latched onto that point in my life and it got worst as I got older. I relate heavily. Much love you're not the only one.
And both are still being best friends :'0?
@Se3ther Haha no she moved away years ago. But I was able to make peace with her later on.
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