Did I cheat on my girlfriend?

I think what you’re really worrying about is the intent as opposed to the action. The action sounds like you did nothing wrong. As for your intent, maybe it was just your brain thinking you wanted to get back with him. Your brain, especially with OCD, has an interesting way of tricking you. And plus you never did end up getting them. Especially if there weren’t any other ways to get drugs, I think you’re fine. And also stop doing drugs. It ain’t good for your brain, boo.

Update- my gf if working rn but I need to message her but this is what I’m saying: “Hey baby this may sound silly but please bear with me because my OCD makes me overthink a lot but I can’t tell if it’s OCD or whether if actually done something wrong. So obviously a few days ago I was trying to get coke but the guy I messaged I had previously been talking to romantically before meeting you but we’ve never actually met in person. I had him blocked on insta before talking to you but he was the only person I could think to message about getting it. He expressed that he still found me attractive but I made it explicitly clear that I wasn’t interested in him and would only see him to pick them up. I didn’t end up seeing him in the end but even if I did I wouldn’t have done anything. I think I have such a fear of losing you and being a good girlfriend that I want to be perfect for you so now I feel like I’ve done something wrong even tho I haven’t said anything to him that I wouldn’t say in front of you- it was strictly “can you hook me up with this substance and I’m still with my girlfriend and completely uninterested in you” to which he understood. I can’t shake the feeling that I’ve done something wrong in me and our relationship even though i don’t think logically I have. I didn’t want to tell you and cause any unnecessary worry but a part of me also wants to just to be transparent but I feel like that would be seeking validation which is the wrong thing to do for OCD because it can make it worse. As far as intention goes I was desperately against messaging him in the first place bc I had a feeling he’d express interest in me and knew it’d upset my OCD- I only did in the end because I couldn’t figure out any other way of getting the drugs. Like I said I made it explicitly clear to him at least 8 times that I didn’t want anything like that to do with him and he accepted that after I said it a few times. I still can’t shake the feeling that I’ve cheated somehow- I’m sorry if this upsets you baby or if my rant makes me sound crazy my mind is so exhausting sometimes I just need to know if I’ve done anything to hurt you, im sorry”

block that dude again, do not talk about it with your girlfriend nor common friends. Preferably don't talk about it, you know that you don't want him, is that correct? Let that thought exist but don't engage much eventually it goes away.