Need help identifying my compulsions.

This is my first time reaching out for support on this in an honest manner, I'm in my 20s and I'm only just starting to receive psychiatric support the past few months, but it’s been slow on any diagnoses for any of my concerns. I have a loved one (a QPP) in the hospital, and he has called me everyday. Today, he asked a favor of me to get another number for him from a friend, and then told me he was going to sleep. Afterwards, I found out he got the number from someone else right after.. my mind is going to the worst, but now that I'm in my adulthood & more educated, I feel like this might be a compulsion. Could it be? In our teens I would do this alot, I would always feel like he is "lying" to me and I realize now I may be making a bigger deal of something than it needs to be, even though it feels so distressing and worrisome.. I am realizing now maybe I shouldn't bring it up, that I could be seeking reassurance from him to encourage that compulsion, even though it would make me feel better for him to "fix it." Please help me identify this habit if you can.

Ocd;;;;;;

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 20h

This could probably fall under reassurance seeking IF you were doing this constantly or it was repetitive. However, it does sound like there was a lie, even if it ended up being unintentional or a miscommunication. Asking for clarification on this is reasonable to me. That being said, if you find yourself asking more than once even after getting a reasonable answer, or asking 10 people to see what they think, then it might be more ocd reassurance seeking. It’s a little tricky to differentiate, but I don’t want to minimize that people shouldn’t lie to you either.

centipedis

Date posted: 20h

@Ocd;;;;;; Thank you, like I mentioned in the post, what you’re describing is really adjacent to how I was when I was a year or so ago. I am trying very hard to learn & help myself avoid these kinds of things now, after some psychiatric treatment, but it is hard! Small things like this tend to really make me spiral but harping on them also makes me feel even worse, it's hard to let them go. It's hard to navigate these things alone or trust myself but your comment was very helpful. So thank you very much.

Ocd;;;;;;

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 19h

I think it’s really awesome you’re able to take a breath and analyze before you ask about it. That’s SUCH great progress, seriously. Be so proud of yourself. I’ve been in therapy for over a decade and it’s so hard to make changes. Remember that we will not get it right every time and it’s important to keep moving forward anyways, we are human and that’s what makes us amazing and valuable. Great work on taking care of yourself and being mindful.

Ocd;;;;;;

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 19h

I also find it hard to let things go. I do find it’s most difficult when I’m stressed or life circumstances are tumultuous, which it sounds like they are, so maybe also take some time to do self care. That might mean a coffee date with yourself to do your favorite hobby or maybe a run or workout to get out extra energy

centipedis

Date posted: 19h

@Ocd;;;;;; Thank you so much for your comments again, luckily today I am going out with some family and I am looking forward to it. It has given me an excuse to finally do things like shower and do laundry so I am glad to clean up. What has helped me the most to try to move on from things that are not worth it is trying to remember that they are just taking my time away from me and making me unhappy. It would damage alot of my relationships and I would make rash decisions because of them. My biggest step right now is building community instead of trying to figure it out on my own, and working on my honesty about problems I worry about. ❤️

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