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Love1another<3

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 13d

I’m so sorry you’re suffering. Know that you’re not alone. I’ve heard this many, many times. Are you working with an ERP therapist? That should help you a lot with this. I can give you guidance from what I’ve learned in ERP. 1st, OCD latches onto whatever and whoever you care about most- so that makes total sense that it latches onto your partner. That actually shows how much you love him. 2nd, I noticed some compulsions you might be doing. For example, it sounds like you are doing a reassurance compulsion and arguing with your thoughts- listing reasons why you don’t wanna think these things. Reassurance doesn’t last long, it only gives us relief for a short term. So in ERP we actually do the opposite- we just let those thoughts be there and float by like clouds or we even do exposures of pretending to agree with our intrusive thoughts and say “yeah maybe my thoughts are true.” I know that will feel so icky at first, it did for me as well. But giving up the fight with our intrusive thoughts is the way to win 🔑

Love1another<3

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 13d

@Noname77 You’re so welcome :) Welcome to this OCD community and to ERP therapy. That’s super brave of you to do ERP. It takes so much strength not to argue with out thoughts when our OCD is screaming at us to do so. But I’m sure you’ll be in safe hands with your therapist and you should ask them for guidance of self-compassion as well. They can teach you not to put yourself down for having OCD symptoms because that’s all this really is. This isn’t your fault. You don’t want these nagging intrusive thoughts. It’s what your OCD wants for you. But you’ll feel better in time with a commitment to the ERP lifestyle. A lot of therapists recommend the “Self-Compassion Workbook for OCD” by Kimberly Quinlain. I haven’t read it yet but I’ve heard great reviews!

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