Insecurity in relationship

I’m becoming so upset with myself in my relationship because my self esteem is so low that I’m feeling incredibly insecure in my relationship. If my partner talks about another woman, interacts with one, I just freak out and think ‘I’m not good enough, this will be over soon’. This is not a mistrust thing toward my partner because he is incredible and very loyal, however my mind refuses to accept he loves me and any other woman he might come across is just a friend and won’t interfere with our relationship. These thoughts are so scary because I don’t want to control my partner, I just want to accept that he loves me. Any advice? I’m taking medication too, I just started 3 weeks ago so nothing much yet. Thanks ❤️

Zeezeezee

Date posted: 2d

Spend more time with your boyfriend and less time scrolling on social media. Especially TikTok, I felt the same way for almost 2 years and now I’m finally able to feel better about myself. You can do it too 💖💖💖

_eegreen

Date posted: 2d

@Zeezeezee I’m not on social media because it worries me more, but thank you so much!

_eegreen

Date posted: 2d

I just want to shake this insecurity that if he even became friends with another woman, or mentions one with no romantic connotations, I can just move on and not ruminate, but I’m so insecure in myself that I believe I am not good enough for him- when he’s never given me this impression, it’s my perception of myself, and it’s hurting my relationship

Lannanotdelrae

Date posted: 2d

@_eegreen Try positive reinforcement in the mirror!!! It seriously seems silly but it helps build confidence and helps lesson anxiety and could help you! "Daily mantras" or something like that. Basically fake it till you make it. And give yourself compliments in the mirror to help you BELIEVE it!! It takes time and sounds silly but I SWEAR by it

Lannanotdelrae

Date posted: 2d

Agreed, I've felt this way before. Set a boundary (maybe him showing online models attention is triggering) and just move on. If you truly trust him, let it be trust. Just take a break from social media if it becomes too much

_eegreen

Date posted: 2d

@Lanna Poulin I don’t use social media, and he doesn’t show online models attention, but I get worried at the mention or thought of another woman involved with him, even as a friend, he doesn’t have female friends but if he gets some I don’t know how I would react, I really don’t want to be controlling at all

sterilebear

Date posted: 2d

@_eegreen IMHO, the only way out of this is through. i think ERP is the only way you can figure out how to deal with the possibility of him making female friends. remember that other women aren’t threats, and maybe try to seek help and consider exposure therapy! remember that it takes time and willingness, though!

_eegreen

Date posted: 2d

@sterilebear Thank you ❤️

Lannanotdelrae

Date posted: 2d

@sterilebear Other women are not threats. No. But I DO have a best friend that has a boyfriend, to a man living a double life that is married with kids. So you truly never know what someone experiences. Therapy of ALL types can help. Not solely ERP but that's the start 🤍

Lannanotdelrae

Date posted: 2d

@_eegreen "Not wanting to be" controlling and actually being controlling are two distinct differences. One you are telling him what to do and how to live his life, the other you are just trying to cope with him living a normal life. Women are everywhere and I swear we aren't out for your man! Confidence comes with TIME and respect of both parties. And truly it comes down to reassurance and your love language. Good luck gf 🤍

Lannanotdelrae

Date posted: 2d

@sterilebear I disagree that the only way she could cope with this is through ERP.

_eegreen

Date posted: 2d

@Lanna Poulin Thank you SO much ❤️

sterilebear

Date posted: Yesterday

@Lanna Poulin you’re right! my mistake. your addition is great and i support it! apologies to both you guys, good luck!

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