advice please.

@Anonymous Are u saying it sounds like I do know I’m bi? Or I do know that I’m straight? Because morally I am straight, I’m not attracted to women or want to marry them

@Anonymous Because if I was bi I’d wanna tell my boyfriend, but I seriously don’t think I am. All the stuff I’ve stated I’ve done has been researched straight women also do that?

@Anonymous But other than the stuff I’ve stated, no I’ve never had any desire for a woman, zero and anytime I’ve been in those situations it’s been when I’m already like t*rned on ?? Like woman don’t just genuinely t/rn me on or something like make me wet lmao if that makes sense

@NorthCarolinaqueen No I'm just saying it sounds like you already answered your own questions meaning it sounds like there were extenuating circumstances and confusions. It does not sound like you are straight up bisexual or anything but I also wonder if you would find it morally wrong if you were. I think that if you were just for honest representation it might be a conversation to have with him but it's still your business and you shouldn't feel guilty or shameful about stuff like this. It's normal to question and wonder about this stuff just as human beings but the OCD makes it seem like it's life or death when it's not. I guess I'm saying women generally are a little more fluid It seems like to me but it doesn't mean you want to get with a woman and it sounds like you know what you want and it's just a matter of not seeking reassurance and accepting your answer. Right now it seems like you are very distressed and hoping for a yes or no answer but it comes down to self-trust. What I was getting at was it's okay to accept the uncertainty and say so what like if you were it wouldn't be your fault but you don't feel you are and you can doubt anything in life but it doesn't mean what you see as true isn't true. It's important to remember it's normal to have these thoughts but what is unhealthy is going in circles on them and feeling filled with guilt and shame

@Anonymous Okay thank you, I know I’ll never be like 100% sure because ocd, but I do know what I want morally, and yes I’ve seen research about woman being more fluid because of research and more research about straight woman do think and watch that stuff. I am convinced I’m not bisexual, but it’s just I always worry because my ocd, this is a recurring thing that’s been happening since I was a little girl, when I am medicated fully I don’t worry about this stuff at all, I don’t think being bisexual is morally wrong at all. I really wouldn’t care to be if I was, but labeling myself bisexual, and thinking of those things, just go against my values, and I was young and curious, so I think I just got addicted to watching lesbian stuff and thinking about it, because it focused on female pleasure, but physically I do like men, and want men. Well my boyfriend, and I have also seen research that women do get like turned on by other women, but it’s not like that for me, I get a weird tingly sensation, but like everything does that with me like, family, animals, etc, and I hate it so so much, but genuinely being turned on, men. My boyfriend. And I would never know with a woman because I wouldn’t want to even try that? and anything sexual just makes me feel weird? Except w my boyfriend 😅😅 I’ve identified as straight for forever

@NorthCarolinaqueen It might be that you were watching it to test yourself too Do you think that's maybe why? And the reason why it can be so confusing I think is because even if someone is straight they can see someone of the same sex and realize objectively they are attractive but it doesn't mean they want to get with them. Yeah I would firmly label this as just an obsessive thought and do your best to not engage with it or research it anymore or ask questions about it anymore

@Anonymous Yes I’ve gotten this thought a lot through my life, it started when I one time thought I was attracted to my girl cousin… yeaaa…. And I freaked out about it? And I guess got into kakegurui anime at the time… and felt like weird sensations? And that’s when I first found out about self pleasure 😅 and then it went from there, after I was SA’d it’s kinda always been like I’ve been really hypersexual

@NorthCarolinaqueen I've heard about that being a way of reclaiming control over those feelings. Sometimes it can be helpful just to remember you are a thoughtful person and someone who was thoughtless or wrong in some way wouldn't be so worried about making sure they're doing the right thing