Is this OCD?

I usually feel really lonely bc I need someone to vent to, and ig what I really want is for someone to fully understand me. The problem is, I think I compulsively vent but idk for sure if it’s OCD. Sometimes, I just need to vent, no OCD attached, because I feel lonely. That’s why I vent here, but I can’t vent all the way bc, you know, too many trigger warnings. I usually vent to my best friend, but I put too much on her and I lowkey think I may have traumatized her. She even said it’s hard to be around me because she knows all the pain I’m in. I feel so so so guilty and currently can’t get up because my guilt is sort of paralyzing me. I can’t tell if the guilt is ocd or not, but we’ve been bffs for 9.5 years. I just feel horrible and I decided to have a talk with her to make sure she’s setting clear boundaries with me, but she’s not ready for that yet (she’s a people pleaser). It’s also difficult because my ocd is like empathy ocd where it targets others pain (don’t know if that’s the right term but yk what I mean). I’ve tried journaling (I have OCD compulsions with that) and talking to myself and talking to my therapist but none of it feels the same as regular venting. I feel like I have no complete way to vent without hurting people… and there’s a lot of guilt.

[Deleted]

Date posted: 20w

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Onomatopoeia

Date posted: 20w

@bluerainbow Thank you so much this literally made me tear up

Onomatopoeia

Date posted: 20w

@bluerainbow Thank you

chickenapple

Date posted: 20w

i experience this as well. my boyfriend said a similar thing to me, and it makes me feel like such a failure. you’re definitely not alone, i’m right there with you.

Onomatopoeia

Date posted: 20w

@bunnyatmosphere Thank you so much

Amy B.

Date posted: 20w

I never stopped to consider if my venting was compulsive. Thank you for bringing this up, it checks all the boxes. I’m sorry you are going through a hard time with this. Feeling lonely can be awful. I’m lonely pretty regularly, and I have friends who would love to see me and events I could go to, but it’s just so hard with all the OCD stuff I have going on. It’s so much easier to stay home, even if it leaves me lonely. I hope things start getting better for you.

Onomatopoeia

Date posted: 20w

@Amy B. Thank you 🙂 Hope things get better for you too

lynlynn

Date posted: 20w

honestly, I think it was wrong of your friend to say something like that. & i’m all for setting boundaries with people, but that didn’t seem like a healthy statement to form that boundary on her end. I don’t know if it was intentional on or not but we all have crazy thoughts, OCD or not, and it’s actually really healthy to talk to people! that’s why therapy is so pushed out, that’s why this app exists! so I think what you’re really feeling right now is immense guilt from what your friend said and I think that that’s relaying onto your experiences with other people, even on this app which IS a venting app. you aren’t doing too much, you’re just a human being doing what human beings do. I really hope that this grounded you.

Onomatopoeia

Date posted: 20w

@lynlynn Thank you so much! This really helps It’s also not just OCD I have, I also have other mental health issues I vent about. I was just worried I put too much on her after venting because there’s a variety that I vent about at different times I think what she meant was that she feels like she has to help me and is struggling because she can’t.

lynlynn

Date posted: 20w

@Onomatopoeia i understand that perspective, i do feel like it’ll be healthy for the both of you to explain the way you genuinely feel & even if its scary, to tell her how the way she explained her pov upset you. another good thing you can do is ask your therapist for a session where you just vent, no other commentary until you feel stable, its their job to listen & hear you out. maybe each session narrow down how much you vent down five minutes less so you can learn to ease things a little with your friend :)

Onomatopoeia

Date posted: 20w

@lynlynn Thank you so so much for the advice

lynlynn

Date posted: 20w

@Onomatopoeia ofc friend 😁

lynlynn

Date posted: 20w

also, something that I like to do whenever I need to vent and I feel like I’m doing too much personally, I just record myself talking. it can go on for five minutes or twenty minutes & so on. I sit in a private space and I just talk and I do feel better after. it doesn’t seem like you’re searching for advice. It seems like you genuinely just want to vent. so I feel like that would be a good way if you still feel guilty, to let those emotions out.

Onomatopoeia

Date posted: 20w

@lynlynn Thank you ☺️

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