First Post - A Nutshell Of My Journey

9 months ago my mental health crisis sky rocketed and I have been suffering and struggling since with a variety of severly increased OCD categories, but mainly Checking OCD, that has overtaken my ability to process and do a lot of things. I use to be able to function so normally (I'd check a small thing here or there, I'd straighten up a counter casually) without a lot of the struggles I am going through now - which have occured, spiked, and continues to drowningly debilitate me, After a few work related...traumas, if I may use that word. After working for a small business for 15+ years,(already in a state of despair, burnout and resentment for most parts of my job) being randomly and unprofessionally told by the owners (that were my bosses, mentors, and supposedly friends of 15 years) thst they were selling the store; which has felt like such an abandonment, jumped ship, thrown to the wolves feeling & that on top of that a category of service our store provides that is disgustingly drowning and has left me so beyond burntout and depressed and triggering more OCD snowballs. I have never experienced anything like I have been going through these past 9 months. Checking OCD keeps causing multiple relapses of compulsions and rituals, delaying and inhibiting fun, function, life, etc;, and seeing the ridiculousness of it but completely inable to face and overcome it. Because the trigger spiked and skyrocketed with work. And always continues and spikes when I think about work, come to work, or have to do the jobs that are triggers that I hate. A place I am at for 40+ hours a week. A very high paced, high stress, demanding atmosphere, that to begin with doesn't align entirely with my career goals and abilities, or a lot of it hardly aligns or meets my morals or lifestyle. And while I am completely grateful to have a job and one for so long, I want to be done. I am fed up. I want a happy healthy work environment doing something I am truly passionate about and excell at and not waste my abilities or talents halfassed-like in a work place where it's only a small percent of what they accommodate due to the wasteful demads of society, the world, and big corporations. There's no time, space or ability here to even begin to heal and or begin to try to get better. The new owner doesn't seem to care about my situation or even coworkers situations. No new employees hired to help with the rush. Only all these changes to ownership and then soon the store will have to be remodled and then at somepoint we will have to be open on Sundays. How am I supposed to get better when there's no support or time allowed or assistance from work in any way or anything. I dream of a fun work from home Graphic Designer Illustrator job, where I can have time to heal and get heathier and to be doing something I love and am passionate about thay actually means something and helps the world in some way. So hello to all who have read my nutshell of a journey. I desperately want to get better and heal and get back to normal. Putting myself out there like this is really hard. But to know and see how many others struggling with the realm of OCD gives me enlightenment and hope and courage. If anyone has tips or information for ERP with Checking OCD, I appreciate to hear your thoughts. Thank you and I hope you have a strong day.