Will I ever be able to be friends with a guy?

So I’m a lesbian with an obsession that I’m bisexual and lying to myself. I’ve struggled with this on and off for years but it was always white noise because my friends were always girls or gay men so it was much easier to say “so what” and move on. But now one of my best friends is my straight male coworker (who is married) and our friendship has been hard to navigate (even with both him and his wife knowing I’m gay) just because of how it looks to others and how close we are. We have a very intimate friendship (hug a lot, look out for each other, compliment each other often, have each other’s best interests at heart) and it’s one of the purest platonic loves I’ve known. I feel so seen by him and vice versa. And my ROCD has latched onto it and obsessed over whether I care so much about him because I secretly like him. I know it’s not the case but I’m plagued by it, especially because I know his wife struggles with awful thoughts about the situation (we’re both meeting each other halfway but god it’s been so hard). My instinct is to look for other jobs and run away but the job market is so tough and I do like my job and treasure our friendship so much. My biggest fear is that his wife will “see right through me” and see our sibling-like banter for flirting and see that I like him when I can’t see it myself. I know that I know who I am and I’m not defined by my fears, or hers, but it’s hard knowing that if that Does happen (i.e. she sees a “romantic attraction” that I can’t), I lose a friendship that I care about so much. But running away feels like letting the ROCD win and “proving to it” that there’s something of merit to run from at all. I’m trying to take it one day at a time but my mind feels like it’s at a constant tug of war. I’m mentally exhausted. Then it makes me wonder if I’ll ever be able to be friends with a straight guy (or any couple) without being seen as a threat from either side (unless it’s a mlm one) which is dumb because this is the first time I’ve ever experienced this. But god it sucks to feel like the other woman when I just love my friend the way people love their friends. Ugh. Has anyone experienced this or something similar? It feels SO niche and it doesn’t help that there’s no representation in the media of this dynamic. I find myself “checking” with similar (but Actual toxic) dynamics in media and finding similarities with us and the love triangle in Daisy Jones and the Six. Or that we’re like Jim and Pam in the Office and that it’s only a matter of time before it becomes one fine mess. And then I force myself to watch Steve and Robin compilations from ST to cancel it out and tell my brain that we’re normal 😭 Any advice is appreciated!!!