Advice needed PLZ!

I was playing with my baby and her face was right in front of mine and I got an intrusive thought, “you should kiss her,” (like an adult would). I started freaking out and wasn’t sure what to do in the moment so I put her down and the ocd took over saying I wanted to kiss her even though I didn’t. The feeling felt so real. It’s so confusing. I felt like an I don’t know what to do with my hands feeling but it was with my face. I felt like for a brief second I was being pulled toward her but i put her down. It’s scaring me. I would never ever do that to my baby.

floatingalien

Date posted: 9h

These thoughts feel terrifying precisely because they conflict with your values and desires, your reaction of panic and putting your baby down proves you never wanted to act on it. Because you are hyper focused on keeping your baby safe, your brain's "fight or flight" response is triggered. This can create intense physical sensations, a feeling of "being pulled," or anxiety in your face and hands as your nervous system attempts to process the sudden distress. Try not to analyze the thought, "figure out" why it happened, or reassure yourself. In OCD treatment, analyzing the thought (rumination) acts like a mental ritual that feeds the cycle.

Kristen

Date posted: 9h

@floatingalien Thank you for your response. So that feeling of gravitating towards her for a brief second isn’t that I wanted to but was from anxiety? Can ocd give you a false feeling of wanting to do something but you truly don’t want to? My body felt highjacked.

floatingalien

Date posted: 9h

@Kristen Yes, absolutely. That brief feeling of gravitating towards her was completely driven by anxiety and adrenaline, not by a genuine desire. OCD is notorious for generating false urges and false sensations that can make you feel entirely hijacked, even when you truly do not want to do something. You did the right thing by safely putting her down to give your nervous system a chance to cool off. The panic you are feeling right now is the ultimate proof that you do not want this. Your brain is simply playing a terrifying trick on your body

Kristen

Date posted: 8h

@floatingalien Thank you so much for your quick, kind response. You have been so helpful and I appreciate you. I’m so glad we have this app to support each other. I’ve never experienced OCD like this. It’s debilitating.

KETOD

Date posted: 8h

Hey Kristen— scary I know! I think there is a difference between you thinking that you want to do something — thinking is the key word here— and desiring something. I know that things can get muddled in the mind and we are not sure if we are thinking our thoughts or if our thoughts are thinking us! Wanting to kiss our babies is natural ( they are so dang cute) but when an intrusive thought distorts that— our minds may not have the ability to quickly separate those two thoughts without just lumping them together and hoodwinking us into believing that we are wrong or bad for those thoughts. OCD is a sly fox— 🦊 it hits us when we are most vulnerable and holding our babies makes us very vulnerable. I have a quote near my bed that says “Thoughts are not facts— so don’t take them so seriously” Easy to say hard to do but it’s my goal to give those OCD thoughts zero energy. Sending you 🤗

Kristen

Date posted: 8h

@Anonymous Thank you for your kind and detailed response. I truly appreciate it. It means so much to me when people take the time the give advice on peoples posts.

KETOD

Date posted: 7h

@Kristen Thanks Kristen— I understand your fear. Everyone is going through something. We are all here to support one another so we can heal. You were brave to reach out. ☺️

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