what is rocd?

Hello goofy goober, Many people with OCD wonder if their diagnosis is correct or if they have a more serious mental health condition, yet to be identified. OCD is known as the doubting disorder, because it makes us doubt what we value. It’s very common, after a diagnosis, to look back and ask, “Was that OCD, or was that just me being unhappy?”—especially in relationships. What you describe includes both understandable emotional reactions to being hurt (like feeling dissatisfied, considering breaking up, and struggling to trust after emotional cheating) and patterns that can look very OCD-like (constant reassurance-seeking, feeling unable to stop thinking about what happened, and getting stuck on whether you’re “meant to work out”). ROCD doesn’t require that everything in the relationship be perfect; it often shows up in situations where there are real issues, but the doubt and mental checking become excessive and consuming. It’s okay not to have a definitive answer about whether your past relationship was “really” ROCD or not. Instead, you might gently notice how much time and energy you spent trying to get certainty, and how much distress that caused you. That awareness can be helpful as you move forward and learn more about ROCD and SO-OCD, and how OCD can cling to new perspectives like the one your psychologist shared. If you’re struggling and need more assistance, remember that help is available. Please don’t hesitate to reach out to us at NOCD to find out how we can support you. Also here are some helpful resources: https://www.treatmyocd.com/blog/what-is-micro-cheating/ https://www.treatmyocd.com/blog/unworthy-of-love/ https://www.treatmyocd.com/blog/what-is-obsessive-love-disorder/ Take care, Ian M. Reeder

Hi! I definitely experienced doubts in my relationship prior to full-blown OCD. But it wasn’t all-encompassing. I think regardless of a relationship’s “health”, doubts will exist. The important thing at those points is to look at things like mutual respect, value alignment, etc. it sounds like there may have been an imbalance in respect there, which could have exacerbated OCD symptoms. OCD often latches on to real observations/insecurities. So I guess the short answer is that multiple things can be true at once

This sounds similar to my situation. My bf sent an inappropriate text to a friend during a party when he was really drunk and hid it from me for a long time after but eventually confessed. It was sexual in nature and we were only a few months into the relationship. He apologized profusely and has been transparent ever since. He didn’t even technically cheat but that was enough for my brain to latch onto for months and months, analyzing and obsessing day and night. It was a blend of suspicion, anger, and doubting if I should stay in the relationship because of those feelings. I kept bringing up and reminding him of how much he hurt me, asking for reassurance, starting fights. The initial reaction was valid and understandable due to the hurt, but I would keep it alive by researching cheater stories, betrayal trauma content, and using ChatGPT as a therapist to feed all of my repetitive fearful thoughts for up to 6 hours per day. I would get all worked up about the “what ifs” and “if he loved me he wouldn’t have done this” narratives and cry daily. Basically instead of healing I was feeding the fear unintentionally and pushed him away constantly. We are still together but he threatened to leave if we couldn’t stop fighting bc it was looping and becoming toxic. That’s why I’m here at NOCD.