Stuck in a Mental Loop Help

I'm a teacher off for summer. When I have unstructured time I obsess about what to do with my time, meaningful activities, connecting. I was terrified of being alone this summer with my thoughts trying to fix this. Then my husband was able to get off work and we were able to go to Maine for a few weeks. I was afraid I would get in a loop while here. First week parents were here and things were novel, 2nd week just me and my husband what do we do? Ugh. My sister has been here this week. She leaves tomorrow and we leave Sunday. I'm ready to go home. I have 2 more weeks before I go back to work one week with husband and one week by myself. Keep thinking about what will I do to connect and have meaningful activities when I go home. My husband and I just watch TV in different rooms, take naps and go to brewery. We always talk about how when we are retire we will go north for summer to get out of heat in Florida. My sister says I'm not happy anywhere, home on vacation at work. I tell her I have ocd which I feel makes me sound like a victim and making excuses. I think she's right. What's wrong with me?I'm reviewing the past lack of meaning and connection and worried about the future when I get home lack of meaning and connection. Ocd tells me if I can just think about it and plan all the right activities and make some friends it will be ok. Even though I'm afraid of relationships because I think people don't like me and don't want to be my friend I can fix it. Ironically by staying in the loop in my mind I'm missing out on meaning and connection right now because Im not present and I'm not solving the problem. I don't know how to stop. I'm telling myself I don't have to solve the problem and what's one thing I can see and hear. I'm afraid I'm not going to get better. Feeling sad. Worried I didn't explain this just right in this post

Anonymous

Date posted: 12h

I understand entirely. I spea lot of time just trying to brainstorm solutions to problems that aren't really problems to other people. Its hard for other to grasp the concept that our brains never really turn off

Kim27

Date posted: 12h

It's nice to feel understood and it makes me feel less isolated. How do we stop the loop

Anonymous

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 11h

Ugh hearing the “you just don’t want to be happy”. I always am searching for the most productive way to spend my free time. And then when I do something, there’s always something more to do. Did I clean my room? Should have gone to the gym. Went to the gym? Well should have worked out harder. Nothing is ever good enough. So I completely get it. We struggle to be calm and relaxed when we have a running list of things we could always be doing. Don’t really have much advice. Right now I’m just trying to notice when I have those moment. Hopefully I can eventually say NO to that negative voice.

HRG

Date posted: 11h

Fellow teacher with OCD Too! The summer struggle is real. Ever tried non engagement responses?

Kim27

Date posted: 11h

I'm trying. I'm not sure what that is. Last summer was horrible. I went to 2 memorial services and was waking up with doom and gloom worried about dying. I was so glad to go back to work and the fear of dying finally went away in May. I feel so odd because all the other teachers are talking about how great their summer was and how they didn't want to come back. For half last school year I was dreading weekends but not really wanting to be at work either

HRG

Date posted: 10h

Here are some examples. Sentence stems like we give our students

HRG

Date posted: 10h

“I’m noticing the ______ and not doing anything about it. This is just a _________ My job is to let it be there without making it mean something urgent.” “It feels urgent, but I don’t have to act on that feeling.” Maybe I come across as awkward or different, maybe I don't - and I might never know how others would react. 1. “There’s the ‘what if’ again. I see you, OCD.” 2. “OCD wants me to react. I’m going to let it sit there instead.” 3. “I don’t need to solve this thought. I need to let it pass.” 4. “It’s okay to feel unsure. I’m allowed to not know.” 5. “Discomfort is not danger.” 14. “The more I let this thought float, the less power it has.”

Kim27

Date posted: 9h

Thank you that's really helpful. My next therapy appointment isn't until July 22nd

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