Advice needed

Hello, I’ve been diagnosed with OCD for about 5 years now. It’s bounced from topic to topic it feels like. The earlier topics were POCD and the fear that I somehow wanted to hurt family members if that makes sense. I feel like I’ve moved past those and sjnce then my mind has been CONSTANTLY ruminating on existential topics from things like free will to things like the concept of eternity, there was even a period in which I believed I might have been in a simulation for some reason. Rationally I know it’s probably OCD but Primally my fear takes over and I deeply believe these thoughts when I have them. Please, I dont have any specific request or anything just need help I don’t know what to do. Is this OCD? I might be looking for reassurance but at this point I don’t care I’m genuinely so tired and angry im a prisoner in my head

Anonymous

Date posted: Yesterday

It’s mostly definitely ocd, I can tell your ocd is being filled by conspiracy theories. I used to watch YouTube all the time I heard all of it and it made me scared but I already wasn’t heavily religious and right now I’m just full blown atheist. But don’t let anybody filled your mind with anything other than just reading the Bible and getting to know yourself. Are you having a hard time with believing or not believing? Then maybe I can help, I don’t want you getting anymore confused and I don’t want to stir you in the wrong direction but I can see how confusing this must be.

AdrianR

Date posted: Yesterday

@Anonymous I would like to believe in free will and religiously I do but it’s hard with the science that is available and it utterly terrifies me, as well as other themes that circle existential topics.

Anonymous

Date posted: Yesterday

@AdrianR I think science, biology and space or unique things that everybody should know. It’s terrifying to some because of the unknown but once you stop fearing in basic human life then it makes things more beautiful. I can say the internet triggers our ocd a lot and it leave us spiraling of things we can’t figure out but it’s life, your life is free will. The concept of heaven and hell scared me when I was young because my siblings thought it would be okay to install religious beliefs into me. I never grew up in a church and I went sometimes, but my grandma owns a church so whenever I was with her I went but I also hide behind religion especially in school because being atheist was terrible especially being in the south. In high school I stopped caring and said I was spiritual but I kept lying because I didn’t believe in that either. Until my 11th and 12 the grade I just stopped caring and was full blown atheist my friends knew but I didn’t tell other people and family. Really because I’m black, my family wasn’t religious before but they are now. The only people who are atheist is me and my oldest brother. Either way you choose, religion or atheism then that’s your free will. But be specific what’s making you doubt yourself?

Jordan🙂🙂🙂

Date posted: Yesterday

I remember when I was stoned years ago and I watched a video explaining determinism and the lack of free will. I believed it and it felt like I was losing control and I then had a panic attack and ran to the bathroom and splashed water in my face and looked in the mirror. I was terrified, and weed is a no go for me now, it’s terrible

AdrianR

Date posted: Yesterday

I’ve only smoked once in my life and it was an uncomfortable experience. It did not trigger anything as I had already been struggling with Existential Themed OCD before then but I don’t plan to smoke ever again.

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