intimacy & ocd

does anyone else struggle with intimacy with ROCD and SO-OCD? sometimes it’s in the middle of it and I imagine a woman doing the things to me and it doesn’t completely turn me off but it won’t go away like it just is repetitive and I feel a bit icky during the moment since I just want do focus in my partner. it’s just so constant like how can I not pay attention to it, and afterwards I like am out of it and able to enjoys the little things again but the thoughts never fully leave, feeling like I’m lying to myself and partner yadadadada

Dopamine27

Date posted: 19h

I feel you. Rocd makes intimacy scary to me sadly, so I tend to avoid it but at the same time I wish I could embrace intimacy with my partner so much. it really sucks.

Chicafreakaaa

Date posted: 15h

Yeah, my intimacy with my partner can get affected when my ROCD is rly high and active usually if we’ve had a good time together it starts to spiral. It’s horrible, it makes me feel inadequate to him and like another whole spiral of thoughts bc I’m like “no I should be able to be here present fully and not get intrusive thoughts during intimate moments” “if you can’t orgasm fast enough with him or at *insert amount of time* then he’s not meant for you and you need to be with women instead” mind you, I’m bi/queer which I chose and felt comfortable with basically my whole life before what I’ve been told to by therapists and psychiatrists to be OCD . I had a friend years ago tell me about pure o bc she was like “girl this doesn’t sound like anxiety this is obsession over your relationship” and she opened my eyes. It’s really hard to accept the uncertainty when our bodies might be telling us something different with nervous system reactions that we convince ourselves must have deeper meaning which you know what, maybe it does and maybe it doesn’t. I’ll accept the uncertainty and move on, a mantra my ERP therapist drills into me to repeat. I roll my eyes at it but then I get so miserable trying to “figure out” “get it right” “not be a fraud or bad person” and it’s an endless cycle so I’m trying to trust the therapy process which isn’t linear. Keep your head up, you’re not along and I’d be down to chat more about relating stories or something 🧚🏼‍♀️

minioooons

Date posted: 14h

@Chicafreakaaa did you know you were bisexual prior to have so-ocd?

Chicafreakaaa

Date posted: 12h

Like before i was diagnosed with OCD, my first kiss was my best friend/sister basically which might sound weird lol but we were like 7. I just felt most comfortable with bisexual at around 12-16 then I honestly can’t tell if it was OCD (because it always wants to confuse reality and past mems) but like during COVID quarantine I had a crisis questioning being lesbian and not bi but I was like 15/16 and basing off tiktok ppl and what they were saying at the time. Which when you’re of clear mind, you can see a lot of the biphobia and internalized homophobia within the community. I ultimately decided on queer as my label bc it just felt/feels best but I started obsessing over my gender and sexuality which I think in hindsight was an OCD episode. I would say the so-ocd came worst like a year into my current LTR coupled with ROCD🫠

minioooons

Date posted: 11h

@Chicafreakaaa ugh boooo I’m so sorry it happened for you like that how would you say you’re combatting both rn bc honestly at times I get to the point where I’m like f it I’ll bee lesbian but then like minutes later I’m like filled with immense anxiety about spending the rest of my life with a woman

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