ROCD making it worse or actual concerns?

I’ve been dating my boyfriend for almost two years now. He’s my first serious longterm relationship. Before I always struggled with keeping relationships and broke them up quite quickly (mostly after one week to 9 months). I always thoughts about not feeling it, having doubts and having the urge to leave or suddenly got thoughts about me being gay when I’m not. I always gave in to this urge and sometimes regretted it. I blamed it on my age but looking back I had signs of ROCD and SOOCD. I met my boyfriend on hinge and was imminently into him. We talked for like 4 months before making it official. Sadly we’re long distance but we see each other pretty often. Before him I had some bad experience with two other guys who cheated on me and broke my trust. Since I already have low self esteem since my childhood it made it even worse. I came from a household where both of my parents cheated on each other. My boyfriend had one long term gf before me and I was imminently obsessed with her. I was convinced that he still loved her. She broke up when she was traveling alone in another country over the phone to find herself. She did not gave him any reasons so it’s quite understandable that it hurt him. She came back in august 2024 (still in our talking stage) and they meet up for a last talk and for him to get his stuff back. I was so worried that something will happen but he promised that nothing happened. I still look at her social media to this day. My boyfriend reassurances me that he mostly did like her as a friend and their relationship felt more like a friendship to him and was sad that he lost her as a friend. He does not miss her as a girlfriend because most of the time they just fought. In the beginning of our relationship I stalked his location, social media, friends and got mad when he didn’t text me back quickly. My whole mood depended on it. During his exam phase he was quite busy and couldnt text that much. Another thing what bothered me were other attractive women. I always scanned the area to look for women that matched his type and got mad at him. During our talking stage he went on a cruise trip alone (booked before we met) and meet a girl there which he hung out with in a bigger group. They were the same age and hung out as friends. She texted him a year later on ig to give him an update on a contest she told him about on the trip. I found it weird since she had his number but he showed me the chat. This girl had zero respect for herself or other people. She texted him quite often and tried flirting with him. My boyfriend sadly isn’t the smartest and texted her back in a friendly way. He told her he had a girlfriend after the second time she asked (which i found weird). She was lowkey mad and told him if it doesnt work out he can always talk to her. He didn’t understand. I told him to ask for her intentions and she asked if I found out and said she never wanted to make me feel hurt and she always texts to her guy friends like that. He blocked her after and deleted their messages. He sometimes makes jokes without thinking and some of them were meh. But he always apologized. Another thing that threw me off was when we’re dating he out of curiosity looked on hinge what kind of people where living in my city (when he visited me). When I caught him he explained and said he was just curious and was sorry that he hurt me and deleted the app. (We both still had it during the time because of our first messages lol I still had it too). All this things kinda hurt but he always worked on it and did better. He said that he doesn’t want to lose me and will so anything to keep me. And he keeping his word. In march this year I went to my exam phase and he did too. I was mad again for him being busy. Something in me flipped. Mid march on our holiday in Norway I got strong break up urges/thoughts and immense doubts. They always changed from do I love him, Am I gay?, His looks, His personality, my past relationships, am I still in love with my ex, his past mistakes, hating him and so on. They changed quite quickly. I’m in a spiral since and my head hurts so much. I wake up and have these thoughts all day. I don’t feel lovely dovey anymore or have the butterflies. What bothers me that he did make some mistakes and I forgave him and he did better. But now all I can see are these mistakes and not the good things in him. It’s like my brain is scaning for advice to break up. I don’t want to really. I always found it easier to hate someone instead of forgiving them. I was always a negative person. Now I’m asking for some advice from other people. Are these actual concerns or is my ROCD making everything worse.