Social Anxiety and OCD

Since starting this journey (first post) I’ve been wondering about how others experience OCD that’s directed at social interactions and how one is perceived by others. ROCD seems like a related subtype. But it’s kind of narrow for what I experience. Because I obsess over interactions with just about anyone and any kind of relationship (not strictly romantic ones). I feel like these obsessions degrade conversations in real time. I often catch myself in an internal dialogue with myself while trying to talk with or listen to others. I think it usually manifests as me trying to think of what I’ll say next. Ironically, this disrupts my comprehension of others speech and I then start feeling guilty for not listening and like I’ve let myself down for not really being present. Is this familiar to anyone? It feels like compulsive coping with social anxiety to me. Might also just go hand-in-hand with getting absorbed in racing thoughts that conversations can trigger

Amy B.

Date posted: Yesterday

I'm way too much in my head during conversations too, always worried I might say the wrong thing and make someone uncomfortable, inconvienience them by giving them the wrong information, do something that makes them think I'm a bad person, on and on and on. So I am trying to review what I've said and what I will say while talking to them. It's stressful and awkward and makes it to where I don't like social interations of any kind (even talking to the cashier at the grocery store), but at the same time I want to be around people and have friends so it just sucks. After I talk with someone I also replay the conversation in my head- did I say anything wrong? what could I have said differently? Or just replaying it over and ocer with no intent to change anything just to calm my brain down. It's exhausting and makes it feel not worth it, but I still want to be social so I am trying (while also battling my other OCD themes, so life ain't too grand right now). Sorry you are struggling with this, you are definitly not alone ❤️

Over the thi...

Date posted: 18h

@Amy B. Thank you so much for this response. I relate to all of it. I usually default to the assumption that I’m inconveniencing others, or keeping them from something better, dragging them into my issues , etc. It really does go on and on. And then yeah the mental replaying is nearly a constant part of my life. Remembering what I said or didn’t say, what they said or didn’t say, what either person might say or not say in some hypothetical future conversation, or what either might have said if something had played out differently. I catch myself in these internal dialogues all the time. I’m not always distressed when I’m in that mode. But now I’m realizing that when I try not to engage with those internal dialogues (like non-response ERP style) it’s genuinely uncomfortable. So now I’m coming to terms with the possibility that, one way or another, these habits of thought have been providing a false sense of comfort my whole life. And I’m trying to let go and sit with the discomfort of silence and my feelings. It is not easy. I’m sorry things are hard for you as well. It’s nice to know we’re not alone in this ❤️

Amy B.

Date posted: 17h

@Over the thinking This is exactly what I'm going through. When I started ERP I thought I was supposed to stop ruminating cold turkey, so that's what I tried to do. I had some beautiful moments of clarity where I was at peace in my brain, but mostly it was hell. I went from ruminating for hours and hours each day to... not. My brain was not able to just cut it off like that, I started having extreme anxiety about other non-OCD things, was crying randomly during the day, couldn't think straight, and was pretty much falling apart. My therapist had gone on leave during this time, and I hadn't started with my new one yet. It crushed me, so I started ruminating again just to get by, and now I'm mostly back where I was and I'm making a plan with my new therapist to gradually shut it off. Looking back I feel kinda silly trying to just completely stop all at once, but in any given moment my SUDs didn't seem that high from stopping, so I went with it. But it was low level SUDs for hours that did me in. I just kept thinking rumination is always bad, so I should always try to stop. Now I try to stick with low stress rumination, like planning out or replaying conversations that are happy, rather than rumination where I'm trying to solve something I think I did wrong. I'm kinda directing it for now I guess, while working on being fully functioning again lol. My therapist and I are going to work on finding my core fear, and then start tackling things again. It's kind of baffling how much of my mental energy is taken up with this. When I do get it turned down, I can just imagine the positvie changes that will come into my life :) And for you too! ❤️

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