Gender identity OCD

Recently I’ve been ruminating and fearing that I might be trans and I’m living my life in the wrong body. I’m a gay male so I’ve always been drawn to more feminine things which is what I think is triggering this possibly. I also had stopped taking my medicine for a month or so recently and that’s when this idea of me being in the wrong body had started. Im back on my medicine now and the feeling is definitely dulled but it’s still coming up. I keep imagining if I woke up as a woman one day and I feel like it’s something I don’t mind? Could it be possible that I am trans and just worried of the consequences and life changes that would come if I chose to transition? I’m nineteen and my whole life I’ve identified as a male and have had no issue with it. However I’ve always wanted to have more feminine features so that brings me back to thinking the trans idea is not just OCD. I’ve been constantly checking on things like talking with my voice higher to see if it feels better, imagining myself as a woman to see if it feels like that’s something I need, imaging my life as a woman, looking in the mirror to see if I would pass as a woman if I do in fact need to transition, etc. It’s a really uncomfortable thing for me and having OCD definitely has made this a lot harder to get a true read on what’s going on. I guess what I’m trying to understand is the difference between actual gender dysphoria and gender ocd. If anyone has experienced something similar or just has any advice please share, it would be very helpful and much appreciated!

Alex Atienzo

Date posted: Yesterday

So I do not have sexuality/gender OCD but I do have a BA in gender studies! The big thing I took away is that your gender can be whatever you want it to look like because it’s yours and yours alone. You can be a gay cis man with feminine features. You could be a trans woman too. You could even be nonbinary or genderfluid or anything else! I know the uncertainty is hard to sit with and it’s so tough because this is relating to your personal identity. The biggest tool I’ve learned here and in PHP has been leaning into uncertainty. When a “what if” thought pops up, instead of trying to make the distress of it go away, lean into “maybe, maybe not.” In the meantime if you’re able to also look into some LBGTQ literature I highly recommend it. Educating yourself on the different dimensions of gender and sexuality can be very empowering for your self discovery and may ease some of your anxiety around the gray areas. And if you’re able to join any of the support groups or see a therapist here at NOCD I highly recommend!

Alex Atienzo

Date posted: Yesterday

@Alex Atienzo Also, there is nothing wrong with “trying on” another gender. It’s okay to explore and see what feels right for you. Some people also change their gender over time which is also valid! I personally fluctuate my pronouns between they and she depending on what feels more me or the setting. All to say, you’re never really “stuck” with a choice. You can always change your mind.

berandallthe...

Date posted: 22h

@Alex Atienzo Thank you, this was helpful ❤️

Cupake21211

Date posted: 10h

I had this ocd a few summers ago like randomly

Cupake21211

Date posted: 10h

But don’t deal with it anymore

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