Paranoia & Anxiety Spikes

I've been dealing with intense paranoia around my family's safety for as long as I can remember. I vividly recall having an intense panic attack as a kid because I was so convinced my sleeping away from home meant my mom and sister were going to be killed in their sleep by a home invader. And I've continued to experience these gutteral fears well into my adulthood. I'm now 29. Just a bit ago I had a panic attack after getting home super late from work, aware my mom already went to bed, and her velcro-dog decided she wanted to sleep in my bed. We have 5 dogs, one of which is my own velcro-dog, but then another came in to sleep with me. And then another, until I had 4 of our 5 dogs passed out around me and the panic set in so intensely I couldn't move and kept asking my mom's dog "Is mom okay?", hoping she would give a reaction to the question as if she understood. I shook and cried and couldn't bring myelf to get out of bed for over half an hour until I finally shot up and went to listen outside her door. I didn't want to wake her but I also really wanted to just say "mom" and hear a sleepy grunt to quell the fear. When I didn't here a snore or a cough like I feel I hear so often, I went into her doorway with my phone flash on and watched her breathe while asleep until I could calm down. I spent over an hour in panic and have been beating myself up for it after calming down, but there was no dissipating the thought naturally. I would say in my head, "She's not dead." "She's okay." "She'll be awake when you get up, just go to sleep." There was no shutting up that voice. Has anyone else dealt with this? Any advice?

Anonymous

Date posted: 23h

I relate to those fears a lot too. Something always feels off when an animal isn't with their "primary human" because they don't tell us with words why they're changing up their routine, as much as I would LOVE to know why they do that, I try to piece together any subtle changes that me other humans i live with have been up to as some sort of hint. Like a personal example is one of my cats tends to be more "needy" and makes biscuits on me any time I am sad or sick almost exclusively, and lately I have been worried about some health stuff with my hormones and as a result my moods have been very intense (I recently quit vaping 😅) but for whatever reason, my cat has been making biscuits and cuddling me and waking me up at night and he has been showing me his belly more and seems to want to always be near me and my initial response was intense worry like "oh crap! my cat knows there's something seriously wrong with me! What if it's cancer? What if I have something really really wrong with me?" But of course, it's probably just my heightened anxiety and lack of nicotine and not the worst case scenario. I don't have any advice, but I definitely want to say you are not alone with those feelings. 🤗

ricecrispykneez

Date posted: 12h

As a nicotine dependent person myself, I completely feel you on all accounts 😭

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Date posted: 23h

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