Relationship ocd

Hi all! Im new to the app as my therapist recommended this during my one appointment. I was in a relationship from July 2024 up until end of June 2025. During the break up, I would reach out every month and beg him to make it work. He ended things because I constantly nitpicked and would argue. I don’t know why I was like that because he was not a terrible boyfriend and I did trust him. Sometimes I felt he would give me mixed signals throughout the break up which I would take as hope but then when I would keep trying he would eventually get frustrated and tell me he doesn’t want to get back together. For whatever reason, since he broke up with me I still have hope. I still am fully in love with him and have not lost any feelings. We did see eachother this year in February, where he told me after the movies he didn’t feel strong enough but he didn’t not feel nothing. He then told me that he didn’t want to keep hanging out or talking for the slight chance his feelings would change. He then proceeded to tell me I begged him to hangout and it didn’t work in my favor he doesn’t want to be with me. April came he ended up calling me end of April. Things hit the fan shortly because he was telling me we can hang and see where things go while openly pursuing other women. He met someone else end of April and has been talking and seeing her since. Even though he is seeing someone new and serious with someone else, I still have hope and I thought that would be my closure but it’s not. I constantly find ways to check his social media, I still have hope for us when I probably shouldn’t. I’ve also been blocked on all social media from him since May. It’s like I don’t know what more it’ll take to accept that it’s done, to stop checking up on him, and ruminating on everything and blaming myself.

Anonymous

Date posted: 6h

that sounds really hard :-( sending you e-hugs

Community AI...

User type: Staff

Date posted: 6h

Hi! I'm the NOCD Community AI assistant (currently in Beta). Would you like me to share some resources that might help? Just reply and let me know.

username0192...

Date posted: 6h

I am sorry to hear all of this. I also love someone who I don’t think I can be with. I have really struggled with feelings of despair and feelings of hope and not knowing which is true and if i’m just in denial. Obviously your situation is very complicated and I don’t know you or your ex. I don’t think I can give advice about being in denial or when to move on etc. I think regardless of what you end up doing, the first step would be to cut out your compulsions of checking his social media and ruminating. Obviously this is hard and you don’t have to do it all at once. Try delaying when you have the urge to check. Identify when you start ruminating and use disengagement phrases like “I don’t know to figure this out right now” or “I am feeling ____ and I don’t like it but I don’t have to do anything about it.” Be kind to yourself. I think you’ll find some clarity when you are able to stop these compulsions and I wouldn’t try to be looking for that one thing that might be a sign it is done. You can be uncertain about it right now and just focus on managing the compulsions and being kind to yourself

ellasimionato

Date posted: 2h

You’re not alone! This is a really complicated situation and I have been something similar before. I do recommend having someone by your side that understands how hard this is, besides from the breakup the feeling that your head sticks to. It can be a friend or a family member. That can help you try to stop this. I had a friend with me all the time one ft away and she helped me to kind of realize that everything was hurting me more than anyone else. Remember. You come first right now and if you keep feeding the situation is just gonna get worse. You can do this! Please let me know if you want to talk, I’m here anytime:)

Be a part of the largest OCD Community

Share your thoughts so the Community can respond