LDR fears, please help

I was doing very well for a while. I finally calmed down, managed to realize all of my fears were rather irrational and my OCD was just wanting me to panic. Now OCD is attacking the fact that my LDR boyfriend will be visiting next summer. He brought it up twice today, and rather jokingly, I said "stop, I'm nervous" or "stop, I'm a bit scared", it wasn't anything attacking him or expressing actual anger, just a light reminder of my nerves. Then he brought up that a comic con he attends yearly was doing its last event next year around my birthday. His brother suggested going, and I told my boyfriend it was perfectly fine if he wanted to go there instead of visiting me since it was the last year they'd be doing it, it's something important to him and I seriously wouldn't mind, and it would give us more mental time to prepare. I felt it was understandable. His brother disagreed with going to the convention since where I live is also where one of his friends lived, whom he planned on seeing while my boyfriend was here. Once he left, my boyfriend got rather serious and said "do you not actually want to do it? We can wait if you aren't ready." Which despite my nervousness, isnt what I meant. At least I hope it wasn't. He assured me he was nervous too, but said he didn't want to come all of this way with his family if I wasn't ready. Obviously, he didn't mean any harm at all. I don't blame him for his words or his thoughts lol, it was understandable. But now I just feel bad. What if I'm not ready and I waste his trip? What if things are awkward in real life? What if I mess everything up? I keep trying to calm myself and be logical by reminding myself that these are likely intrusive thoughts and I'll be ecstatic and excited when he's actually here, but I can't help but feel nervous. I keep trying to remind myself and think things like, "just wait. Youre going to be so excited the night before he gets here. Youre going to get to dress up and talk about your interests with him in person.", but my fear won't go away. I really hate life milestones, not because I'm not grateful for them, but because OCD always manages to make me afraid of what I can't be sure of. I should be happy. I feel guilty for being so scared, I feel like it means I don't love him, and I hate that.