- Date posted
- 5y
- Date posted
- 5y
mostly thoughts that are negative of my gf. weather it’s physical or not. and just other girls popping into my head and not having control and just feeling very guilty. it’s pretty bad
- Date posted
- 5y
I have that too, with out girls popping into my head though. But i have the constantly feeling of something isn’t right, and it makes me feel bad.
- Date posted
- 5y
@elleeen i’m scared the other girl thing is bad but i used to not be committed to this person so maybe that’s why. what do you think
- Date posted
- 5y
@murp What do you mean? I didn’t understand the question.
- Date posted
- 5y
I’m sorry to hear that too. I have told my partner my ocd is bad lately but I’m trying not to listen because deep down I know I love him, I just wish my brain would turn off the cyclical doubts. I’m hoping like some of my other past ocd things that this too shall pass
- Date posted
- 5y
Same. I think i have commitment issuses and fear of abandonment. My rocd is screaming inside my head that i have to leave, but i dont want to. Feels like it, but thats just the anxiety talking. What are you struggeling with?
- Date posted
- 5y
I do too. And my s.o is perfect. But I can’t turn off the thought that something is wrong and we should break up but I know I don’t want to
- Date posted
- 5y
same my partner is the best i could ever ask for she understands all my issues. my mom passed this past summer and that is what triggered it all
- Date posted
- 5y
Same. I have so bad anxiety and i just want to run, but its just the anxiety talking.
- Date posted
- 5y
@elleeen I can even picture running and then I start crying because I know my bf is my partner and I don’t want anyone else. Which makes me always ask those stupid what if questions. I wish I could turn my brain off and appreciate what I have
- Date posted
- 5y
@carlys Same, i feel so bad. I feel nothing towards him either, and it makes it even worse. Im trying to stay calm and not panic.
- Date posted
- 5y
i went through like phases of it. first i felt like i didn’t love her. then feeling like i had to tell her every single little thing that i did
- Date posted
- 5y
how did u deal with it?
- Date posted
- 5y
@elleeen I second that, how did you get past the first stage
- Date posted
- 5y
@elleeen i go to therapy and i also take zolaf. i have good days and bad days and good week and bad weeks. i just try to think of times i felt safe and secure with her. ex: black friday shopping. i liked driving and being with her for a while and stuff. or think of her talking to my family and that everything is okay i just have to get through this
- Date posted
- 5y
@murp Thanks i will try to do that.
- Date posted
- 5y
@elleeen Does your therapist do cognitive behavior therapy? I’ve been on the search for a good medication to help, I’m on busprione now but I don’t think it’s working well
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- 5y
@carlys he is starting ERP soon with me. zolaf is pretty good. it’s the only one i’ve used ever
- Date posted
- 5y
I don’t want my bf to know. At least with my ocd I just worry that I don’t love my bf. Or ask the what if like what if I don’t actually love him. So my phase now I guess is questioning if I love him but my conscious mind is telling me You can’t ever know if you love someone that’s not a certainty and love isn’t something you feel every second of every day. That’s how ocd sneaks in. It finds areas of life that are uncertain. I just cry and pray this doesn’t ruin my relationship and I get past it
- Date posted
- 5y
My boyfriend and I recently broke up. I was constantly terrified of him not being the one I love. even though he is beyond amazing I had to force myself to look at other people asking myself, “am I attracted to them more than I am attrcated to my boyfriend?” I led him through a lot. I struggled with the small things setting me off, such as the clothes he was wearing and I was sent into a spiral of anxiety thinking “I cant love him if I have these thoughts,” “why am I sitting in this year long relationship lying to myself and leading my boyfriend on?” And my brain and body respond, “run, emmy.” Its simple that my brain does this to protect me and though its innocent, its far from helpful on both sides of relationship. The most effective thing to do is communicate to your partner when your ocd is being a prick, and maybe ask for a few minutes to think. I failed at this part because my ocd was so strong- almost like peer pressure but internal peer pressure.
- Date posted
- 5y
oh, sorry to hear that. Im not gonna break up, but my rocd is so bad right now.
- Date posted
- 5y
I’m struggling through the same thing right now as we speak. I’m on what should be a relaxing vacation and just feel like something isn’t right. My brain is running through every thing I don’t like about the relationship. We just had sex and I had to force myself. I felt numb. I am slowly getting off of Lexapro which I know kills your sex drive but I can’t help but wonder if this is just me not attracted anymore. Help.
- Date posted
- 5y
@df126 Zoloft annihilated my sex drive. It increased my fears about my partner about me not being attracted to him which led me to be very snippy and rude to him. I pushed my fears onto my boyfriend
- Date posted
- 5y
I do similar things. We are used to the excitement of the chase. That’s not possible in a stable relationship. Having a stable relationship is a good thing
- Date posted
- 5y
like i used to be someone who didn’t commit to one person and kinda went through a hoe phase. and i just sit and compare my relationship now to the ones i had before and it’s just mentally taxing
- Date posted
- 5y
You should next time talk to your SO.
Related posts
- User type
- OCD Conqueror
- Date posted
- 22w
no clue if this is compulsive, but I’m interested to hear any obsessions others have that aren’t the “common” ones you see online about what ROCD is? a few for me: - thoughts about their partner being with someone else instead (sometimes a specific person) and then trying to analyze your reaction to it? e.g. does it *feel* more right than us, do I actually feel happy for them, etc. - trying to imagine your partner in your current situation or maybe a specific future situation (when they’re not around) and trying to decide if they “fit” in it? - being super scared of losing them, then suddenly feeling like you don’t care much for them at all, and just constantly cycling? - I almost never fully enjoyed sex because I was constantly obsessing about whether or not I was turned on, turned on “enough,” if I was just having groinal responses and wasn’t actually turned on, looking at his face just to decide if I find him attractive enough, comparing my experience with how I feel watching content alone, etc.
- Date posted
- 14w
Hey everyone, First time posting here! Wanted to share my story for some support but also to hopefully make others feel less alone. In short - my ROCD has made such a mess of my personal life. I was in a great relationship until spring of last year, at which point we separated mainly due to my ROCD. I struggled heavily with OCD about 10 years ago (harm based intrusive thoughts, sexual orientation ocd, etc). It took a lot of work but I was able to mostly overcome my struggles and truthfully, hadn’t given ocd much thought since then. I thought I was cured. And then 10 years later I am in a very fulfilling relationship with a girl I really love, but at about the year mark in my relationship things really changed. She wanted to have a conversation about next steps (moving in, marriage, kids, etc) and at that point my brain just went into panic mode and the ocd took over. From that point on, I was constantly scanning for red flags, felt very reserved when it came to any sort of statement or commitment and tended to avoid anything that would indicate I was committed to a long term future. It was not that I didn’t love it was just that my ocd was doing anything to keep me from making a big commitment. It eventually got a point where we had a big conversation about breaking up or staying together and my OCD convinced me that it was safer and that I would do less harm to her if we ended things, which was incredibly devastating to me. At the time I felt like my obsessing over small red flags were normal and that I needed to protect myself. I just had no clue it was ROCD. I spent the next 8 months missing her and kicking myself for my mistakes, and I eventually got the courage to reach out and see if she’d be willing to talk again, which she was. But the problem is, at this point I still didn’t know it was ocd. So when we talked again I was still plagued by ROCD as all the same thoughts and feelings came flooding back. We tried to talk through things but once again I was unable to make any sort of commitment to the future so it went nowhere. Once again, I am feeling very sad and angry at myself for not being able to handle ROCD. I feel like I let it control me twice and has robbed me of a lot of happiness and hurt someone I care very much about. I understand it’s probably not best to just look at ourselves with anger and guilt all the time but it’s hard not to when you feel like you just caused so much harm. Anyone feel like they can relate? Or if anyone is going through something similar I am happy to chat as ROCD can really be tricky. Thanks
- User type
- OCD Conqueror
- Date posted
- 4w
Hi all!! Its been a while since I've been in here and typically I come on here to give advice and encouragement which i still plan to do but i really need encouragement right now. I typically deal with so-ocd but right now its taking a back seat or just disappearing ( which I'm not complaining) but now my rocd is really coming in thick and heavy and Im overly anxious but i have had panic attacks to the thoughts and its just been heavily attack me on my feelings towards my bf. I love this man with my literal whole being and I want to marry him and I know he feels the same cause we have had discussions on marriage. But lately and idk if its because of my period starting (sorry tmi) and all the hormones but i can't feel my emotions all that well, and the thoughts are constantly telling me i don't love him, i don't want to talk to him which are all false me and him are long distance rn which is hard but we push through it. I really hate these thoughts and all it makes me want to do is scream and cry. Like i said not overly anxious but definitely just want to scream and cry and of course cause Im not overly anxious my ocd picks up on that says oh see your not anxious with that so it must be true. I'm just hot mess y'all:( But anyways word of encouragement keep pushing y'all all got this and Im proud of every single one of you!!
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