OCD? And trauma

I was diagnosed with OCD this year, after believing for a long time that I just had severe anxiety. My mental health has gotten less and less manageable, so I finally decided to start seeing my old therapist again. I have a lot of trauma I’m working through, specifically with grief. My brother was killed in an accident 3 years ago, and I think constantly about what I could’ve done that would’ve stopped him from being on the road that day. I feel like if I were a better person I would’ve called him and then he would still be alive. I also worry that I’m betraying him if I feel happy. I feel like I have to be sad all the time or talk about him all the time so that I don’t forget him. I worry that I’m not feeling my emotions correctly and people are judging the way I grieve. Sometimes I say things without thinking about how I’m angry at him for driving recklessly, but then I obsess over the fact that people will probably think I hate him and I’m not sad. I feel like if I talk about him without crying then people will think I don’t care that he’s dead. TW: sexual assault I also went on a date, before meeting my boyfriend, with a guy I met on Hinge, and I went back to his apartment to watch a show. He told me I wasn’t allowed to leave unless I kissed him, and I laughed and told him no. He kept pushing and eventually grabbed me and kissed me, and then pushed me onto his bed and groped me and tried to take my clothes off. I pushed him off and told him to drive me back to my car. The whole way I talked to him like it has just been a normal date, but when we got to my car, and he tried to give me a hug I flinched and felt sick. I told my friends after that we kissed but I wasn’t interested in a second date. I haven’t told anyone except my boyfriend about this, because I feel stupid telling my friends my date assaulted me after telling them we kissed consensually. I think they’ll think I’m lying or be mad that I didn’t tell them before. I think all the time about how I wish I didn’t go on that date, or I wish I didn’t go to his apartment, or I wish I drove myself so I didn’t have to rely on him for transportation. I feel sick to my stomach thinking about how I just laughed and brushed him off and didn’t take the situation seriously. I haven’t fully processed the situation yet, but every once in a while I remember new details about what happened that I had forgotten. I haven’t had the chance to talk about it in therapy yet because I’ve had a lot of things to cover. It makes me wonder if I even really have OCD or if I just have anxiety and my trauma has made me worry and overthink too much