Awful things on explicit site

21+ only Was looking for something safe on OF and kept getting triggered: Reported both accounts of someone who uploaded a video using objectifying language towards anime characters who are I believe underage, I didn't sub to them, the video was visible and not explicit but when I looked closer to read what it said I was triggered by them objectifying the characters by calling them babes and blocked and reported them. Had to report someone who's name was infantilising and their banner seemed like it was from something explicit and was animated and it didn't technically show anything apart from someone's skirt and tights and liquid pouring down their legs but I got really worried it was bad and kept accidentally glancing at it when I blocked them and OCD's being awful and twisting me opening it in new tab to block them and scroll past both so I wouldn't have to see it and to check other people. OCD trying to say I did something wrong when I blocked person what I'm sure was a screenshot from some explicit animation and could've been bad because I needed to find out if I had to block other people or if they could be safe and kept accidentally glancing at their banner in the process of blocking them and closing the tab and I mispoke when arguing with myself and OCD's being awful. OCD making me scared someone said something awful in safe video and I ignored it and did the compulsion and keep saying stop it to OCD being awful and it also made me scared about song being triggering in the beginning when I was itching and wiping and I had to rewind it to make sure that's not what they said even though I already knew that they didn't and I don't know what they are saying but it wasn't anything triggering/bad.

outsideinsid...

Date posted: Yesterday

Not an expert or professional, and still struggling with my own stuff so dont take this as fact or me as any authority, just food for thought. First of all im sorry you’re going through this. It sounds stressful and frankly exhausting. Heres one thing i thought while reading this though. Do you think maybe going on these sites is a compulsion in itself? It seems like you may be, consciously or not, going on there to check your own morals. I think its easy to mistake this sort of moral virtue checking (idk if theres a better word for it) for “facing your triggers” when in reality you can still be engaging with the OCD. Saying this because i find i do that a lot, i think “im exposing myself to uncomfortable ideas” when really i’m just ruminating, problem-“solving” or checking whether i feel “correctly” about things i find morally wrong. and i think real effective exposure to the discomfort means not engaging with and placing value in the part of your thoughts that tell you that your morality is a fragile thing that must be constantly monitored to avoid slip ups.

outsideinsid...

Date posted: Yesterday

@outsideinsidevoice That being said, maybe the use of these explicit sites is something you should try to curb. Not because it’s moral or immoral, but because it seems like its an easy trap to keep testing and judging yourself, and performing compulsions to fix that. Maybe you can talk to a therapist about this if you have one, they can give you better advice than i could. But if it feels like something you find yourself stuck doing thats bringing you this much distress, its worth considering whether thats what you want or what is just feeding the disorder. But idk, this is just my advice. All i’ll say past that is You are stronger than your fear. These thoughts might be terrifying, but that doesnt mean they are worth your time. You decide that. I hope you’re feeling better soon.

NotGoodWithU...

Date posted: 3h

I'm not seeking these things out in the slightest, I'm looking for things that are safe and reporting things that I think could be bad, I just accidentally saw these things

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