- Date posted
- 5y
- Date posted
- 5y
You're definitely not a P! Do you have a therapist or a doctor you can talk to about this to help you challenge the thoughts?
- Date posted
- 5y
I just restarted therapy... (I had to change therapists because of money) but they aren't ocd specialists (I don't have one in my country)... I'm so afraid that what I felt was attraction! I want to cry... I don't know how to distinguish between the false and real one...
- Date posted
- 5y
Hey, your not alone. I felt the same way when the thoughts came around. And I mean exactly the same. Everything your saying I and alot of these people have bben through. Your in no way alone. I agree with Ree9 and I think you should talk to someone (a therapist) just to help with getting it off your chest and finding ways of being reasonable with yourself. Your not a "P". And all your worry and shame over this proves you have good intentions. I can tell you I thought it would never go, but it gets better and the right help for you is there to take advantage of. It's all a process. Head up. You got this.
- Date posted
- 5y
Now I'm worried because, since I played with her and actually touched her (while giving piggyback rides), that I gave in to my "attraction" and performed predatory acts... Instead, I should had avoided her
- Date posted
- 5y
The false memories are such an annoyance. It's sounds like it will never happen. But you have to try to let it go. The fact that you can't remember and are creating these scenarios is ocd. Your worrying about somthing you may or may not have done, and if you actually did it I'm pretty sure you would remember it clearly. But you don't remember what went through your head. I've had that exact problem too. It's tough but I had to let things go cuz I was losing sleep, not eating, over somthing that I know I didn't do but I couldn't trust myself because my own head told me I could've done somthing else. And it went through alot of phases. All for knowing I'm a good person and never did anything. Your a good person with good intentions. Your mind just messes with that very fact. If it was a thought of. What if I accidentally stepped on this little girl's foot. You know she's fine so you can forget it easily. But because you know it's wrong to do what you think you mightve done the thought will catch your attention and make you feel shame and wonder if your capable of all this
- Date posted
- 5y
@thoughtstroubledmind @thoughtstroubledmind We all always assume the worst it's a process. I'm here for you so is everyone on this app. We all want to see you get better and take this mental thing down. Please see a therapist. Suicide is never an option. There is so much help out there for you. Even on this app if you feel the need hit the SOS or call a ocd line. I was in your very spot. You can do this. Your stronger than you think. As I have proved to myself. I'm here to talk. You got this
- Date posted
- 5y
@Reptarrox Thank you so much...
- Date posted
- 5y
@thoughtstroubledmind Please reach out if you ever feel like this. There is help for you and you can a will beat this
- Date posted
- 5y
@Reptarrox I will. Thank you.
- User type
- Therapist
- Date posted
- 5y
Dear writer, please see the email from NOCD resulting from any self harm or suicidal message. Please know NOCD understands the pain you are in, the email has referrals and important, helpful information. Please reach out to your support persons, dial 911 or go to the nearest emergency room if you feel suicidal or near any type of self harm. NOCD cares about your safety.
- Date posted
- 5y
OCD has mainly two weapons- doubt and guilt. The guilt you're facing is in itself a doubt. I know you can't just remove it. Know that whatever you choose to do isn't always right or wrong. You had this thing in your mind when you didn't avoid her. When you're unsure what is right or wrong, don't listen to you feelings because they themselves are stuck in this cycle. Use logic to help you out. Example:- I don't have any proof that I touched her badly. I didn't avoid her that doesn't mean I like her. I liked her but that doesn't mean as a "p", it was just feelings of kindness and cuteness.
Related posts
- Date posted
- 20w
ππππ£πͺ ππππππππ₯ πππππππ βππΌπΈππΌ π»πβ'π βπΌπΈπ» ππ½ πΌπΈππππ π»ππππβπΉπΌπ» πΉπ πβπΌππΌπ πππβ πππ»π hi everyone, I am really struggling with something disturbing and I'm so afraid I'm a PDF. So my sis came to visit with my nephew for the first time. So the other day we were taking pics with the baby I was already feeling kinda nervous cuz I never held a baby before. Anyway it was my turn and I like I wonder if this would sexually stimulate him( not exactly the thought but the of thought was more graphic and I don't wanna disturb anyone). And I can't remember if I thought that while I was bumping him on my stomach (like how people bump babies on their hips) or before I started doing so. Anyways I can't really remember what my reaction to that thought was or if I started bumping him before or after I had that thought... So I tried not to think much of it but over time I started to spiral really bad and wonder why I thought that and why then I would bump him on my stomach after having that thought or during. I just feel so disgusted. Like was I curious about it? Did I disregard the thought because my brain thinks disturbing things? Ik right now away from that situation that ofc I have no sexual interest in my nephew at all. I played with him and helped changed diaper and everything and never had the urge to do anything inappropriate to him besides that one weird instance. So like I'm so disturbed like did that mean something? I have P OCD but that didn't really feel like an intrusive thought? I also can be very impulsive, and if it was impulsive does that mean I had a desire? Now I'm terrified of having kids even though I wanted some or to foster some. I mean I know but myself I'm not sexually attracted to kids but then why would I think that I am so disturbed really and feel so sick. ππππ I don't know what to do I'm so scared about what my motivation was I feel so bad and scaredππππ
- Date posted
- 19w
i've been very sad these days, i saw a child on TikTok and i had thoughts calling her hot, it seemed like i liked it and i was very anxious and very scared. i cried a lot, i kept replaying the video several times because it seemed like i was attracted to her and only when i was sure that I wasn't attracted to her i skip the video. but then i went to watch the videos of this kid again to see if i was really attracted or not again and i got nervous about being attracted to her "chest" and i kept looking to see if I was really attracted or not π i wasn't, but one thought scared me a lot, which was "you were only attracted because it looked like an adult's chest." i was very nervous, i cried a lot because of this. I'm not attracted to children, I never have been, why does it seem like i am? i don't want to look at children anymore, im too nervous. i'm not attracted to her, all of this makes me sick and sad, it's all very uncomfortable and scary. but I've been questioning myself a lot about the last thought, i can't stop questioning myself. every time i see a child my brain asks if i'm attracted to them or if i think they're pretty. i can't stop crying (sorry for any mistakes I'm using a translator)
- Date posted
- 16w
TW So I havenβt been diagnosed with pocd, but many ppl said that I have it. I was in bed when I remembered this time when I first started experiencing what I hope is false attraction not actual pedophilia, Iβm looking back on it rn n Iβm worried it wasnβt false attraction, I remember feeling a sense of attraction when I saw that kid, I was about14 at the time and the kid was 11 or 12. I remember constantly searching to see if it was normal for a 14 year old to like a 12 or 11 year old, I was worried when I was doing that i think, I also kept walking pass her to look at her i think to check if i was attracted or not, but it makes me worried that I was attracted to her because im worried that i did it bc i was actually attracted. now looking back on it rn, I donβt feel panic, worry, shame, or guilt, I originally only felt panic and worry, never shame or guilt. Now I donβt feel any of it, not feeling panic and worry now makes me think that I am a p, I donβt want to be a p. I hope im not a p, Ive talked to a therapist and theyβve said that itβs pocd, but it wasnβt a official diagnosis, Iβm worried it was a false diagnosis because I lied on one or two of the questions. I also constantly get senses of what I hope is false attraction when I see some kids, I keep trying to figure out if it is real or false attraction. Can someone give me some advice please
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