- Date posted
- 5y ago
- Date posted
- 5y ago
You're definitely not a P! Do you have a therapist or a doctor you can talk to about this to help you challenge the thoughts?
- Date posted
- 5y ago
I just restarted therapy... (I had to change therapists because of money) but they aren't ocd specialists (I don't have one in my country)... I'm so afraid that what I felt was attraction! I want to cry... I don't know how to distinguish between the false and real one...
- Date posted
- 5y ago
Hey, your not alone. I felt the same way when the thoughts came around. And I mean exactly the same. Everything your saying I and alot of these people have bben through. Your in no way alone. I agree with Ree9 and I think you should talk to someone (a therapist) just to help with getting it off your chest and finding ways of being reasonable with yourself. Your not a "P". And all your worry and shame over this proves you have good intentions. I can tell you I thought it would never go, but it gets better and the right help for you is there to take advantage of. It's all a process. Head up. You got this.
- Date posted
- 5y ago
Now I'm worried because, since I played with her and actually touched her (while giving piggyback rides), that I gave in to my "attraction" and performed predatory acts... Instead, I should had avoided her
- Date posted
- 5y ago
The false memories are such an annoyance. It's sounds like it will never happen. But you have to try to let it go. The fact that you can't remember and are creating these scenarios is ocd. Your worrying about somthing you may or may not have done, and if you actually did it I'm pretty sure you would remember it clearly. But you don't remember what went through your head. I've had that exact problem too. It's tough but I had to let things go cuz I was losing sleep, not eating, over somthing that I know I didn't do but I couldn't trust myself because my own head told me I could've done somthing else. And it went through alot of phases. All for knowing I'm a good person and never did anything. Your a good person with good intentions. Your mind just messes with that very fact. If it was a thought of. What if I accidentally stepped on this little girl's foot. You know she's fine so you can forget it easily. But because you know it's wrong to do what you think you mightve done the thought will catch your attention and make you feel shame and wonder if your capable of all this
- Date posted
- 5y ago
@thoughtstroubledmind @thoughtstroubledmind We all always assume the worst it's a process. I'm here for you so is everyone on this app. We all want to see you get better and take this mental thing down. Please see a therapist. Suicide is never an option. There is so much help out there for you. Even on this app if you feel the need hit the SOS or call a ocd line. I was in your very spot. You can do this. Your stronger than you think. As I have proved to myself. I'm here to talk. You got this
- Date posted
- 5y ago
@Reptarrox Thank you so much...
- Date posted
- 5y ago
@thoughtstroubledmind Please reach out if you ever feel like this. There is help for you and you can a will beat this
- Date posted
- 5y ago
@Reptarrox I will. Thank you.
- User type
- Therapist
- Date posted
- 5y ago
Dear writer, please see the email from NOCD resulting from any self harm or suicidal message. Please know NOCD understands the pain you are in, the email has referrals and important, helpful information. Please reach out to your support persons, dial 911 or go to the nearest emergency room if you feel suicidal or near any type of self harm. NOCD cares about your safety.
- Date posted
- 5y ago
OCD has mainly two weapons- doubt and guilt. The guilt you're facing is in itself a doubt. I know you can't just remove it. Know that whatever you choose to do isn't always right or wrong. You had this thing in your mind when you didn't avoid her. When you're unsure what is right or wrong, don't listen to you feelings because they themselves are stuck in this cycle. Use logic to help you out. Example:- I don't have any proof that I touched her badly. I didn't avoid her that doesn't mean I like her. I liked her but that doesn't mean as a "p", it was just feelings of kindness and cuteness.
Related posts
- Date posted
- 12w ago
Trying not to seek reassurance, but rather connect the dots on my OCD and possible reasons as to why I am the way I am. I have severe OCD (or at least I hope I do) mainly surrounding POCD. I've had symptoms of OCD the majority of my life but this theme has come up more recently. When I was a kid, and i'm talking 6-7, I was first exposed to some really gross adult content online. It was introduced to me by a friend of mine around the same age of me. I saw some really disgusting things that a 6-7 year old should definitely not see. This was not a one time occurrence, as I had been exposed to taboo topics online years to come after that, such as the same friend introducing me to Omegle... And i'm sure you can imagine how that went, theres a lot of genuinely disgusting human beings on there. Coming back to the reason for making this post; is it possible to early exposure to this content could be one of the reasons I struggle with POCD? It genuinely scares me to death because you hear that real p*dos dealt with simular situations when they were kids, so thats kind of making me feel that this could be more than OCD, and I could be a genuinely bad person. My POCD feels so real, that at times i'm fully convinced its not OCD. Sometimes I can't even distinguish the feelings of attraction between a younger person and an older person, except for the feeling of anxiety and fear. Its really hard to explain without going into detail, but it just feels so real. Some feedback on this would be great, thank you all.
- Young adults with OCD
- Students with OCD
- False Memory OCD
- Mid-life adults with OCD
- "Pure" OCD
- POCD
- LGBTQ+ with OCD
- Date posted
- 11w ago
I feel like a really terrible person right now, I keep replaying this, and no matter what I can’t remember what happened, it’s like my brain is purposely not letting me think about it. Without wasting any more time, I’ll get into it. Basically, I was at Walmart, and looking at cards with My Dad, I saw anime ones, took pictures of them for my sister, even ones that were anime kids, because I did my best to ignore it, so I looked at a Hunter x Hunter card, I stared at the black haired kid, being all like “ I’m glad I’m not having any thoughts about this, I’m glad I’m having normal thoughts and not thinking anything” I felt happy, then as soon as I looked at killua (white haired kid), everything collapsed. I don’t know what happened, my brain won’t let me remember. But I’ll give bits and pieces. I think that I had false attraction, and something in my head, said “oh, I wouldn’t mind being attracted.” “He is attractive, and I’m attracted to him.” “I remember a girl thinking he is attractive and he is” “ It’s not wrong to be attracted” “ I don’t care about his age” .. something along the lines of that, and now I’m panicking super hard, because I’m worried if I said those things, I feel like I ruined my life that I’m a pe//do and deserve nothing, idk what to do, I feel terrible… I remember when I was having the intrusive thoughts, I was panicking and was worrying, but it kept playing out, and I kept hearing things talk, it was drawn out too long, that now I feel convinced that I was saying those things, I tested it too, and I can confirm that I didn’t say that, but why am I still not convinced? I know I wouldn’t say those things, I was hoping the complete opposite would happen. My brain kept making me feel like it wasn’t wrong and it was okay. Maybe that’s why I’m so convinced I did that. I’m just spiraling super bad right now, I don’t know what to do or what to think, I don’t know if I said that or not… even if I did test it, I genuinely just feel like I said it, and I wanted it, because I still feel uncertain, I still feel like I said it, part of me just wants to be like oh I did and so I can move on, not because I agree with it, I just don’t know what else to do… I’m really scared.
- Date posted
- 8w ago
(20f) I have been dealing with severe OCD symptoms for as long as I can remember. I recently got diagnosed about a year ago, and even though I know that these thoughts are probably my ocd, I still cant shake them. Growing up I was always very sexually curious. I was sheltered from a lot of things, as I went to a private school and things like sexuality and sex were never talked about. I remember doing some weird sexual things growing up (never affecting another person), looking up taboo sexual things, etc. I always seemed to become aroused no matter what the situation was, even if I just saw someone getting changed. I have no recollection of being SA'd, so i'm wondering where this all came from? Was I just curious and wanted to experiment and try different things? Or am I really a pervert, pedophile, etc. I have all these thoughts racing through my head and it's killing me. Everything I did as a kid I look back on and am disgusted, as those don't align with my views at all today. I never thought growing up thinking these things were wrong, or actually realize what they were until I got older. I'd like to think it was just my curiosity, but i'm not sure. What if i'm in denial and actually do like these things? I just need to know if theres something wrong w me, I cant keep going on like this. Could really use some advice.
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