What annoys me is knowing intrusive thoughts are apart of life. I have to do exposure in order to decrease the level of anxiety I feel from them but I hate every second of it.

Sometimes they feel so real and other days you can say, “Oh I see what you’re trying to do there, it’s not gonna work this time!” Thank you for posting this, it’s nice to know I’m not alone.

I battle everyday with intrusive ‘bad’ thoughts. I desperately want to share them with a trusted therapist but I just can’t bring myself to say the words because of the shame and the anxiety that if I say them then I’ve made them real. As long as they’re only in my mind I can do my compulsion and try to ‘un-think’ them. It’s hell. I’m tortured and feel so desperately alone. I can’t even write this without tears welling up.

Dawn, I feel the exact same way, you are not alone in this. Whenever I ruminate I can’t even repeat the thought I just call the thoughts, “that” or “it”. It’s horrifying to even think about saying the thoughts out loud because of how awful they can be. You will get through this, it does get better. You are not alone in this.

I can relate, and I hate how sometimes the intrusive thoughts are super chill and you know they are not real and at other times it feel so real that you almost want to ‘admit’ to having them.

Totally understand where you are both coming from. Every day is like fighting a loosing battle at times.

I feel like I’m not as traumatised by my thoughts which is worrying and then I become traumatised that I’m not traumatised. It’s a never ending cycle! I honestly am convinced I want to act on my thoughts right now. How do you guys cope?

Meng, YES! It IS horrifying to even THINK about saying them out loud! I desperately want them gone and my therapist says they will lose some of their power as I talk about them but I just can’t! I am even taking anxiety medication. They were once so bad I would be paralyzed, literally. I couldn’t move from whatever position, posture or even facial expression I was in until I felt relief and sometimes that was a very long time. Then as soon as the relief came, another thought came and I was ‘stuck’ again. The medication has helped those severe times but I still have flare ups of those moments. Sometimes I just breakdown and cry. And many times I want to end it all myself.

Meng I can totally relate to your comment ?