- Date posted
- 6y
- Date posted
- 6y
Sometimes they feel so real and other days you can say, “Oh I see what you’re trying to do there, it’s not gonna work this time!” Thank you for posting this, it’s nice to know I’m not alone.
- Date posted
- 6y
I battle everyday with intrusive ‘bad’ thoughts. I desperately want to share them with a trusted therapist but I just can’t bring myself to say the words because of the shame and the anxiety that if I say them then I’ve made them real. As long as they’re only in my mind I can do my compulsion and try to ‘un-think’ them. It’s hell. I’m tortured and feel so desperately alone. I can’t even write this without tears welling up.
- Date posted
- 6y
Dawn, I feel the exact same way, you are not alone in this. Whenever I ruminate I can’t even repeat the thought I just call the thoughts, “that” or “it”. It’s horrifying to even think about saying the thoughts out loud because of how awful they can be. You will get through this, it does get better. You are not alone in this.
- Date posted
- 6y
I can relate, and I hate how sometimes the intrusive thoughts are super chill and you know they are not real and at other times it feel so real that you almost want to ‘admit’ to having them.
- Date posted
- 6y
Totally understand where you are both coming from. Every day is like fighting a loosing battle at times.
- Date posted
- 6y
I feel like I’m not as traumatised by my thoughts which is worrying and then I become traumatised that I’m not traumatised. It’s a never ending cycle! I honestly am convinced I want to act on my thoughts right now. How do you guys cope?
- Date posted
- 6y
Meng, YES! It IS horrifying to even THINK about saying them out loud! I desperately want them gone and my therapist says they will lose some of their power as I talk about them but I just can’t! I am even taking anxiety medication. They were once so bad I would be paralyzed, literally. I couldn’t move from whatever position, posture or even facial expression I was in until I felt relief and sometimes that was a very long time. Then as soon as the relief came, another thought came and I was ‘stuck’ again. The medication has helped those severe times but I still have flare ups of those moments. Sometimes I just breakdown and cry. And many times I want to end it all myself.
- Date posted
- 6y
Meng I can totally relate to your comment ?
Related posts
- User type
- OCD Conqueror
- Date posted
- 15w
I find while doing exposures, rarely does my anxiety lessen. It usually amps up and stays that way for the remainder of the day. I could be having a fairly decent day, but dutifully do my exposures and then the rest of my day is anxiety filled. I guess that’s just how it is now? Also, I’m wondering if my therapist even believes I have OCD. I totally understand my therapist cannot provide reassurance. But it’s to the point it seems my therapist acts like I actually did the thing I fear. I feel so isolated.
- Date posted
- 7w
for me, it's like there's two folders of my thoughts, 'main thoughts' and 'sub thoughts' and it's like a background voice of my background voice, you know? like so quiet and irrelevant but it's still here and i can try to ignore it but not fully and it feels like it's just really nasty, like it's warring with me, never shuts up and just keeps nagging me with those thoughts
- Date posted
- 6w
When I catch myself doing compulsions mentally during exposure sessions, it seems alot of the time like the realization that I was just doing a compulsion is more distressing than the actual trigger I'm trying to expose myself to. It feels defeating having to admit the prompt at the end that I performed a compulsion yet again. I still think I've made progress overall, and generally speaking I don't think I'm performing compulsions as much as I used to, and my distress has also gone down noticeably (not completely) but exposure sessions have been kinda tricky for me from the beginning since its all mental. Additionally, I am a bit concerned that I could start using exposures to rid myself of anxiety rather than expose myself to it properly.
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