Hi everyone. I have religious ocd and i am muslim and i pray 5 times a day. There is an ablution ritual where we wash parts of body in certain steps before prayer. I get doubts on purity, doubts on my ablution steps, doubts during prayer in each step. I also have tetribke intrusive thoughts where my mind curses god and anything related and it scared me and still does, especially since i hate hearing curses about god or even curses in general. All these things make me always spend so much time making sure i am clean...and make me repeat ablution and prayer. Most times i cannot even begin prayer because i doubt my intention, doubts if i even did a step, get terrible curses against god in my mind, and doubt every step. I try to ignore, especially the curses...but fail every time. I also know some things i do are not logical but still cannot help not doing compulsions like asking god for forgiveness and starting all over. I cant go to a therapist because i do not want to take medications and also do not have the money or means to commit to it. Also, not sure if they can help because it is very specific. Anyone with my type of ocd and muslim? Were you able to recover? How did you ignore and go on doing ablution and prayers? They have become extremely hard. Please be kind. I am in a very depressed and helpless state. Please dont tell me to do anything blasphemous or sacreligious. I love my religion and god and know this is a test. Thanks.

Religious OCD is terrifying because I can't logic out of it. I can try saying "that's not how God works," but then my brain will be like, how do you *know*. Like does anyone else have religious OCD and feel the need to pray all the time? If so how do you avoid that urge? How do you find a healthy relationship with religion when even the smallest mention of it triggers you?

For years I was a very anxious person, I acquired anxiety since I was bullied at my school, since I was a child. A few years ago I realized that I was overdoing it with cleaning, I always wanted to wash my hands thinking that if I didn't, I would get some disease. After that time I started to attend my church, I became a very religious person, in this environment I went through some good things and some bad things, I've seen people point the finger at me for some things they liked to do. Then they kept saying that because of my behavior I could become a nun because I was a well behaved person, This stayed in my head and at the same time I felt guilty for not wanting this in my life, sometimes I was afraid that God would punish me. I am currently unable to attend my church as I used to for fear of judgment from people and also for fear of being in a serious sin and someone pointing the finger at me and starting to feel bad.The last time I had a crisis was when I heard from a priest that watching soap operas is a sin, I spent 5 days straight researching this on the internet and the more I couldn't find what I was looking for the more anxious I felt. I caught myself several times asking God to get rid of these thoughts.There was also a time in my life when I was terrified of speaking some blasphemy against the Holy Spirit and never being forgiven by God, The Bible makes it very clear that blasphemy against the Holy Spirit is an unpardonable sin.

Hi everyone! My main theme in religious OCD is doubting God & Jesus! It hurts me heart I love them but I’m trying to remember His love and grace! Recently I’ve been having major blasphemous intrusive thoughts! I’ve had them before throughout my OCD journey but this time it’s kinda hard to let go and they’re coming so hard! They scare me! They can be very mean and just disgusting. Cursing, denying and just thoughts I hate! I ask for forgiveness and don’t always “feel” forgiven! I love Jesus & God! These thoughts hurt so much! Sometimes they make me feel like I want them or I’m saying them on purpose! I feel like I subconsciously “check” & ruminating on them. I know this is a normal and common OCD theme but it’s like sometimes I feel like I doubt my OCD! Especially whenever I have blasphemous intrusive thoughts! Like my brain just thinks “nope it’s you not OCD”. Like it doesn’t feel like OCD but Ik OCD can make it feel “very real”. It makes me feel like God is mad at me or upset! Or He doesn’t love me as much or just can’t be “forgiven” which I know is a lie and not true! I love God so much! Ik OCD attacks on hat we love it’s just my mind will doubt I have it! Please any tips to overcome these thoughts! I feel a lot of shame, guilt, fear, anxiety and sadness for having these thoughts! I know people say “they’re just thoughts” and not bad but they feel like that. Any advice?! Has anyone else gone through this?