- Username
- uwotm8
- Date posted
- 4y ago
No they're not. Maybe you're not grasping the concept of "accepting uncertainty". Nobody expects an OCD sufferer to just repeat to themselves "okay, I accept uncertainty". The point is, you work on not sitting there with the thought and letting it corrupt every aspect of your life because you cant stop ruminating on it or doing other compulsions. Instead you try to fight off doing compulsions and focus on the task you have to do for the day. You walk with the OCD and dont let it affect you to the point you're disabled by it. Does that make sense? Its about shifting focus from the OCD thoughts to living your life with them. And in this sense, you naturally accept uncertainty. Finding certainty doesnt Happen with OCD and that's what makes us do compulsions.
They are haha they won’t accept their own uncertainty either
I’ve tried not doing a compulsion for 3 months and it’s not shifting it’s getting worse And no one else will accept their own uncertainty on their personal themes I’ve seen it with my own two eyes
@uwotm8 I have with previous themes. For example, when I had obsessions about my health I accepted that if I had cancer I'll deal with it when it comes. That's how I recovered.
@uwotm8 Perhaps the people accepting it just aren't posting....
I guess perhaps you're misunderstanding what we mean by "accept"... I've been in recovery for a long time from HOCD, and I now accept the thoughts I get. That doesn't mean I'm falsely accepting them to be true/meaningful! It means I accept that I get intrusive thoughts sometimes. They're still not fun, but I can say to myself "alright, yep, we just had that thought... but we're not going to stress about it or try to make it go away" You accept the presence of intrusive thoughts and you don't try to force them away (that makes them worse!) But you don't accept the content of them, because that wouldn't make any sense ?
Someone the other day told me something just like this. They said “you’re one to talk” and I said yes. I am one to talk. You know why? I experience the same problems so I KNOW what needs to be done. It’s not gonna go away just like that and you aren’t gonna be able to accept the uncertainty all the time. Recovery is up and down not straight up. You’re here with people who experience all the pain you do. We may be hypocrites but we’re hypocrites who know what we’re talking about.
We’re all in this together one of the reasons but not the only reason is that that we have trouble accepting uncertainty. Just because I or someone else doesn’t totally accept uncertainty but tells others to doesn’t make the advice invalid. Maybe some of us who aren’t 100% comfortable with accepting uncertainty are telling others to do it because they know it’s a great way to fight ocd and they are doing the best to try and fully accept uncertainty themselves. Maybe telling others will help them with it too. This isn’t an app for negativity it’s already difficult dealing with everything ocd brings. We should be a community that spreads nothing but positivity and it’s ok to get upset but let’s not take it out on others. Sorry if you’re struggling and I hope you’re day gets better.
Who said I’m taking it out on people? I’m just stating my opinion
Umm no
You can all have your opinions but I stand by mine
Well hopefully you can find your way to properly treat your ocd. Or hopefully find the right help if you don’t already have it.
@lulu23 I’m not saying that recovery isn’t possible I know it is, but (and I still 100% stand by this) people just declaring “you have to accept that fear” would NEVER “just accept” their own themes ??♀️
@uwotm8 Nobody just accepts it right away. they practice it and once they’ve learned it they can apply “just accepting”. it doesn’t always mean to just accept, it means to learn to accept so that one day you can just accept these things and let them pass. I understand what you’re saying now.
LOL wait, so all the OCD therapists are massive hypocrite? Because that’s what they teach you/what we all have to do to get better ☕️
Most OCD therapists I know who happen to have OCD are really diligent about their erp and recovery practice. It doesn't mean they're cured, but they are walking the walk even when it is hard, whether or not they choose to tell you about it (many therapeutic perspectives discourage self disclosure because of ethical dilemmas)
Also I think Shala Nicely has an article or two on this topic. A Google search should find it
Ocd sufferers i mean
@NOCD Advocate - ocdillustrated I don’t understand how this connects to what I said? ? The user says we’re all hypocrites for accepting the thoughts, yet that’s what therapists and other professionals tell us to do because that’s the therapy and what makes you get better. That’s what I’m talking about.
@Nica I responded to the original wording of the comment, which was that all therapists are hypocrites. I do not agree that all sufferers are hypocrites either
@NOCD Advocate - ocdillustrated Upon rereading, I realize that maybe your post was meant to be sarcastic?
@NOCD Advocate - ocdillustrated Nah I’m not being sarcastic My point is, someone who has their own theme isn’t going to just accept uncertainty- we have all seen the frantic reassurance seeking that goes on and I don’t deny I do it myself, but the difference is I’ve seen others tell me to accept uncertainty, then go on to post about their own theme REFUSING to accept uncertainty
@uwotm8 I don’t think that means they’re refusing. I think that means they’re panicking. They probably need reminders and support too. Ocd doesn’t just go away just because we know the answers.
And yep @lulu23 that's true, it's about letting them pass ?
I don’t accept my worries because they didn’t appear as an intrusive thought. They appeared after I had a symptoms. Feminine related. Definitely not in my head. Now I’m stressed to fuck over STDs. My partner asked me to move in, but I’ll be DAMMED if I move out of my flat I’m settled in on the basis of sssuming everything is ocd, incase it isn’t. If I had an std he would think I cheated and leave me. Then I have no where.
Ohhh I remember seeing you talk about your STD theme on here before! Yeah it's really really stressful... Try not to let these thoughts control you. Do you want to move in with him? Because if you do, you should consider it. Your worries about STDs don't have to affect your decisions - try to not react to them, because by making your choices based on such worries you will only make them stronger and that will make you think they're true. Do you have therapy? Because I'm not sure how you can get out of this if you don't do ERP, even if you have to do it yourself.
I really want to yes. But I can’t make that jump if I feel that a breakup is possible incase i AM right. Therefore I DO NOT accept my thoughts. That’s ludicrous. I got a referral, but then it turned out to be generic counselling and she tried to out logic me with this expression ?
Okay, I think if you want to do it then you should do it. Your thoughts have nothing to do with it - they're only thoughts. Accept that they're there, but don't believe that they're true (again, I think you've been misunderstanding what acceptance means) And that's annoying! Maybe you should try again. It sounds like you're really struggling and it's clearly getting in the way of your normal life and relationship choices.
I understand what acceptance means. But I’m unable to do that. I’m able to think rationally and then my brain goes “yeah but what if it’s not just in your head though?” Back to square one So I physically can’t accept it’s just thoughts
@uwotm8 Plus, if there were tests to see if people were gay etc I know people would use them. It’s just my theme is around something I CAN test therefore I feel I SHOULD or I’m irresponsible
Well, the reason you're unable to do it yet is because you have OCD! I used to hate the phrase "accept your thoughts" because I misunderstood it too. But once I started getting myself to do ERP, it made more sense. And, of course, my OCD is much more under control because of itm
And if i moved in and gave up my flat and then he dumped me im fucked I’m not about to be uncertain about this. I was with someone for ten years and was kicked out for no reason with nowhere to go once, I will never do that again
@uwotm8 I’d blow my fucking top lmao legit I’m not going through that level of stress again. If I’m moving in, I want to know I’m not risking my sanity again
And if there were tests to see if people were gay, those of us with HOCD would either not use them because we were too terrified, or we'd use them and not believe the results, or we'd use them compulsively and panic. It's the same with your theme - you either don't get tested and worry about what would happen if you did, or you get tested and still feel uncertain, or you compulsively get tested. No matter what theme we have "testing" and "checking" absolutely never helps.
how could you accept uncertainty? just how tf do you accept that? to me, that's like accepting something i never am, will never do and would never want to be. i dunno, sounds like accepting that you are your intrusive thoughts.
What’s the best way to explain accepting uncertainty? Does anyone have a simple explanation
How can I accept the uncertainty ?
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