- Username
- Tf0498
- Date posted
- 4y ago
I had fear of psychosis really bad for a while. I’d say it was one of my first obsessions. These days, I would say I’m close to overcoming it. I still have triggers that will unravel my fearful thought process, but ultimately I’ve realized that there is no amount of researching, anxious thinking, preparing, checking for psychosis. If you’re going to have it, you will, there will be no amount of worrying that can prevent it. If it’s going to happen, it will. Hope this isn’t triggering but this is what helped my get over my psychosis fear. I’d really struggle with “delusional thoughts” that would pop into my head and I’d worry if it meant I was schizophrenic, but then I’d tell myself, if I am, I am. If I will be, then I will. I can’t control it.
I have strictly mental compulsions. Like taking tests online, researching all that stuff. It’s super frustrating because I know it doesn’t help.
Ok, so those are the comoulsions to eliminate, along with asking for more opinions and arguing with yourself about it. One way to lean into the uncertainty is to respond to the "what ifs" with "yes, maybe' and "so what if..." And then something to the effect of "I'll wait and see" or "I'll cross that bridge if I get to it"
Quick update. This theme has dissipated to almost extinction. A couple things that really helped were just accepting that it could happen and if it does there’s no amount of worrying or thinking that can change it. My therapist was so brilliant in saying “if the train is coming you can’t stop it”. That kind of just made me let go. Still dealing with Harm Ocd but a great exposure was listening to videos and simulators of it!
Was debating going away this weekend because of all these fears but I think I’m going to book my hotel today and travel with these irrational fears
Yeah I guess the biggest thing is just accepting, and I know that but this is just a hard thing to do I guess. It’s more or less just super scary to think about and face that I’m having difficulty with. Stems from my Harm ocd probs
Harm ocd and fear of psychosis really goes hand in hand for me, I’ve worried that if I lost control of my reality, I will hurt someone. I understand it’s hard. I really really do. I still struggle here and there
@ruminating_redhead A couple months ago I couldn’t leave my house for fear I would snap and hurt someone out of nowhere. It gets better. I’m not over it but it does get better the more we just live our lives and bring ocd with us.
@lulu23 I agree. And in my opinion, that is a form of exposure.
Do you have any erp tips? I feel like the more I read and watch it the more my mind tries to trick me into the symptoms. Ugh
Yup, me too, when the content I fear is right in front of me, it’s hard not to feed into my compulsions. What are your compulsions? It’s helpful to identity them first
I’m going through the exact same thing right now. The OCD stories has a new podcast that covers this subject. I’ll warn you that it may be a bit triggering if you listen, but in it there’s a guy who has had this fear for a very long time but has improved after getting treatment. There are things I can tell you but it may be triggering so I’ll hold back. Best thing to do is try your best to do things you would do if you had none of these obsessions or any of the fear they bring.
Also I was at a point where I feared I was hearing things and I’m almost over it. I also couldn’t be alone at all and I always am now. I was sure I would hallucinate at any moment for some reason. If I improved at all You can improve too.
@lulu23 Thanks for the comment! Yeah I listended in on that one. Very similar and I agree. It just sucks when your head has the pressures and feels like mush almost lol
Living with the fear of going crazy. Hey everyone, through my journey living with OCD I’ve had many different themes. The most enduring one was Harm OCD, but I would also have intermittent POCD thoughts. It wasn’t until the last few years that I developed a new theme: the fear of developing psychosis/schizophrenia. While this theme seems to be far more common, it is my experience it isn’t really noted in most of the conventional information you might find online. In all the books, websites, videos, and blogs I’ve digested, I’ve only seen it mentioned a few times. But a perusal online shows that in many OCD communities, it’s a common fear. That’s why, for those of you who are suffering or may suffer with this theme, that I find it important to share the experience openly. During the day-to-day, depending on the intensity of the obsessions, it can have a profoundly limited effect on your life. You want to avoid any scenario that might trigger the thoughts, but the avoidance leads to ever-increasing isolation. Personally, I’ve found actively participating in treatment and ERP has helped me maintain most of my regular responsibilities and habits. In the past, an OCD spike could really derail my life. And while I’m certainly dealing with more intrusive thoughts than “usual” at the moment, knowing I have the support of the community and my therapist helps me stay on course. It is without question that without treatment, my suffering would be greater than it is now. I have tools now to manage it that I never had before. It’s important to remember that no matter the theme, someone else is experiencing it. And within that theme, the particular thoughts aren’t really the issue. It’s our response and relationship to them. OCD is incredibly creative, and many with OCD tend to be reflective and conscientious people! You may have all manner of odd, strange, or disturbing thoughts. And that’s ok! Although it seems like a tired cliche, you’re never truly alone. If you have this theme, and are comfortable sharing, it can help others feel that they can be open and without judgement. I hope this has helped someone who felt isolated. Thank you!
My OCD theme is fear of psychosis/schizo and it’s gotten so bad idk what to. I feel like it’s starting to make me think crazy.. like my brain gathered all information on this mental illness and now mimicking it. Does anyone else have this problem? I feel like crying
Disclaimer, I am diagnosed with OCD, GAD, PTSD, ADHD, Panic Disorder and hypochondria. I’ve been in the midst of what I hope and pray is just an extremely debilitating health ocd theme for about 4 months now, where I’ve basically convinced myself I am in the midst of psychosis or developing schizophrenia or a related disorder. I obsess over it day and night to the point where I can’t even function hardly. Constantly researching symptoms and seeking reassurance. Ive been having this weird symptom where my ear canal will randomly feel this pressure/ticklish sensation and I start to become hyperaware of the hole in my ear, and I get this weird tense feeling almost like I’m expecting someone to stick their finger in my ear or expecting something to go inside of it, this weird sensation almost makes me want to cover my ear but I never do. But when I get this weird ear feeling I get absolutely ridiculous crazy thoughts like “what if a demon is trying to get inside your ear” and I’m like WTF why would I even think of that, I don’t even believe in demons or religious stuff like that to begin with. I recognize that the thought is nonsense and FAR out of the realm of reality and makes zero sense.The fact that I would even have a thought like that to begin with scares the f**k out of me! I have never ever had thoughts like this before. YET now whenever I get that weird sensation in my ear I still get intense anxiety, why? Why do I still get such crippling fear from this ear sensation even if I don’t believe the thoughts? Why would my brain even come up with a thought like that in the first place? I’m so terrified of schizophrenia and psychosis, I don’t want to lose my mind ): I have a wife and so many dreams. I’m so scared of losing it. Has someone ever experienced anything remotely similar to this? I know this is very far fetched.
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