Can we talk about relapse/lapse? I’m new to the nocd community. And OCD community entirely. I’m turning 27 and I’ve just recently been diagnosed with OCD back in December. I’m currently working through the storm of ERP and acceptance therapy, battling what I know now to be my 3rd OCD episode. I’ve had OCD since I was as young as 6. My first theme was fear of death. Mostly surrounding my parents. Second manifested itself once I was 11 and I had a fear of growing up. My parents put me in therapy at this time. Once I turned 15 (summer going into sophomore year HS) that’s when the themes manifested themselves into POCD, HOCD and harm ocd. I remember it was the scariest thing. I was confused, scared and incredibly crippled by anxiety. I couldn’t sleep or eat without having a panic attack. I was put into therapy but was misdiagnosed with generalized anxiety. I remember at this time my themes would change. One day I’d be scared of being gay, the next day I’d be scared I’d harm the little children I babysat every day after school. My POCD was so bad at one point I tried to quit my after school job taking care of the kids. HOCD I think was the hardest theme for me to overcome. Eventually the symptoms and the intrusive thoughts faded and I spent the remainder of my HS years living a “somewhat normal” high school life. My second episode hit when I found myself in my first emotionally abusive relationship. The stress and emotional rollercoaster he put me through was unbearable. This was my sophomore year in College now, I found myself in lapse #2 and this time it was my HOCD that I found debilitating. Fast forward 8 years and I’m in the midst again of ocd relapse #3, my HOCD yet again. This time I’m working through my OCD diagnosis with my boyfriend of 7 years and my supportive family. Telling my boyfriend all about my fears was one of the biggest challenges. I thought my ocd were quirks I would grow out of. But unfortunately that wasn’t the case. I’m working with an OCD specialist in Manhattan and he’s been introducing ERP as a form of treatment. It’s week number 3 and it’s not easy. But I am slowly beginning to see progress. It’s been amazing to finally realize I’m not alone. I’m sharing my story in hopes it helps other realize they aren’t alone either ❤️