Does anyone struggle with perfectionist OCD such as having a tough time beginning essays/ tasks in general?

This is literally my situation exactly.... the other day I only finished half of an assignment and I COULD NOT hand it in because I knew I would fail... for some reason OCD was like yeah if you don't attempt it's better than getting less than 50 :/ I had to drop the course ? I'm trying super super hard not to beat myself up about it... but yeah I have been avoiding starting tasks too and if I miss a class then I feel like I can't go to the next one because I wasn't at the previous one :( It's so frustrating... have you found anything that helps you?

@Emmaaaahh I 100% understand exactly what you are going through! I’ve been in the same exact situations with assignments. I think designating some time for the assignment every day and really breaking it down is helpful and also not editing essays/work as you go. It is a lot better to get your words out and then go back and tweak because then you at least are able to create some space in your brain to edit rather than trying to make it perfect each step of the way. Have you found strategies that help you?

@ggaby87 This is probably honestly my worst theme right now, so I haven't really found much that helps :( I find taking breaks to do meditation while doing my homework has been helping a lot though :) do you ever worry that getting better from OCD will make your performance in school drop? I feel like this fear had been holding me back from recovering :/ but also my OCD being bad is making my performance drop in school anyways so it's become a double-edged sword ?

@Emmaaaahh Yea I have definitely experienced those same thoughts! This perfectionism around school/work is definitely my worst theme right now as well and I have struggled with the thought that accepting the fact that nothing can be perfect wont allow me to do really well. But I try to remind myself that that is the OCD talking and that any work I produce is better than nothing which is where I’m at now.

@ggaby87 You are so right... I didn't really even realize how scared I was of not living up to the expectations I have set for myself until now. I am trying really hard to just put my health and happiness first this semester and to set more realistic goals for myself while recovering :) I tried doing that today with an assignment. I was successful at handing it in even though I didn't spend much time on it, so that's definitely worth celebrating! My new goal is to pass the semester without compromising my mental and physical wellbeing! My OCD hates this new goal, because of the uncertainty of whether or not I will be able to handle doing both perfectly, but I deserve to take care of myself first, and so do you :)

@Emmaaaahh Oh yeah also I almost left class today because I wasn't understanding and the anxiety just wouldn't stop building and I felt like I needed to escape and there was no point in staying if I lost track of what the prof was saying but i stayed and sat with the anxiety. It really sucked for a while but eventually I became less anxious and able to focus again. I actually kinda just had to imagine that I was glued to the chair, cuz like the urge to leave was suuuuuuper powerful and I was sure I was gonna cave... honestly today was a good day for me, even though it was stressful af

@Emmaaaahh Ahh that’s so great! Congratulations on a successful day!! :)

@Emmaaaahh I couldn’t agree more! ?

I think I felt that on a spiritual level... Im so exhausted my brain is always in overdrive trying to choose the perfect way to do things