Hello there, Just wondering if anyone has had a real difficult time letting go of a past relationship? I’m talking I’ve been anxious and depressed for two year after I was broken up with. I obsess and over analyze what I did wrong and or keep reliving when we first met and how good thing were. I’m seeing a therapist and she helps but doesn’t really give me ways to help stop these thoughts. I’m wondering if I should seek a new therapist who will be able give me tools to help get me through this. Thanks!

Hi all, I’m new here and this is my first post. I was diagnosed with OCD back in March and started therapy, but was only able to complete a few sessions before my therapist had a baby. I have been in a relationship with my girlfriend for 11 months and I’ve constantly been thinking about her past. More specifically something she told me that happened while her and I were speaking. In just two days it will be a year since she told me about the fact that she was assaulted by someone she met online. ( we both met online). It took place while we were talking. Originally when she told me, she told me she had sex with a guy she met online she told me she went over to watch a movie and then they had sex. Recently after we discussed it since it was weighing on my mind, she revealed to me that it wasn’t consensual and that she was sexually assaulted/raped. She told me she initially thought it was sex because it’s what she was sued to from her last relationship. She was abused and assaulted a lot by her ex, and this thing was normal for her. She said she didn’t realize how bad everything was until after we had been dating and she saw what true consensual sex was. The problem I have is that my brain knows every detail of what happened but keeps blaming her for her. My brain keeps telling me it was her choice and her fault and it justifies it by saying that she went over knowing it was a possibility he would want sex, so therefore it’s her fault. This has been straining me for so long because I can’t stop thinking about it. Everything seems to trigger a thought about it. I know inside what happened and what led to it, but I constantly think about it possibly being something else. I constantly think about every little detail. It has led me to having thoughts of “maybe I shouldn’t date someone that did this” as it doesn’t match my definition of the “perfect partner”. I have no idea what to do anymore. I obsess over things she had done with her ex in order to be loved by him. Like drinking, smoking weed, etc all things that I am against. I know she doesn’t do this anymore and was coaxed into it, but I’m constantly overwhelmed by thoughts of “she isn’t perfect because of XYZ so I shouldn’t be with her”. I won’t go into any details about the assault out of respect for her. I feel I’m constantly fighting myself and every good day I have gets overshadowed by one bad day :( I cannot see my therapist again until August and it worries me a lot.

Does anyone have advice for dealing with a breakup. This hurts so bad and my brain is torturing me. OCD makes it so much worse. It’s been a month already. I need to start letting go but can’t stop. Any advice for letting things go .. ?

I feel like I really need help right now. I keep reminiscing on my old relationship and comparing it to my current one. For context, within my old relationship I had been with him for a pretty awful year and 3 months. Within the first 3 months I realized that I didn't actually want to be with him, but I felt sorry for him. So, I stupidly started self sabotaging the relationship. I know that it was stupid, and I tried to break up with him but every time I felt bad. His mental health was already bad and I hate any possibility that I can make someone's mental health worse. That whole "relationship" was so toxic on both ends though. All of that alone has me so messed up. But with that I also had this false attraction to him. Like, I would always be figuring out what I wanted in a relationship and tried to do that with him despite knowing that I didn't actually want to be with him. Now my mind keeps trying to convince me that I'm doing that with my current relationship. I know that I'm not. This one feels genuine and it's pretty healthy. We have our bumps, but we both have this want to fix it and it's just so nice. I hate that my brain is trying to ruin this for me.