- Date posted
- 5y ago
- Date posted
- 5y ago
Hey, what happened already happened. It’s in the past, and you can’t change that. Time is only moving forward, and not backwards so don’t worry about what you did or what you may have done because it’s already over. Instead, focus on the present or the future and learn from your past mistakes. Learn to love yourself and to accept that you are human and we all make mistakes. Don’t beat yourself up.
- Date posted
- 5y ago
Can you say more about your goal of "stopping the thought" and what your therapist suggested?
- Date posted
- 5y ago
Hi, She hadn’t really suggested anything about thought stopping. She really listens to me and suggests I stop all contact with him and suggests that he has issues of his own. My goal is too wake up and not be anxious about him not being in my life or constantly living in the past. I’m not doing well at all. My life is just passing me by. I don’t enjoy anything anymore it’s destroying me. ?
- Date posted
- 5y ago
Are you avoiding or putting off regular activities and new relationships to make time to think about your ex?
- Date posted
- 5y ago
Hi Katie thanks for your questions I answered more below.
- Date posted
- 5y ago
@JodyASch I try to do my regular activities but my thought always goes to “ if he was still in my life “ I would be happy doing these activities” I basically feel anxious and scared, scared I’m going to be like this forever since it’s already been two years since we broke up....As far as new relationships I’ve made some new friendships but o find myself thinking these are not the people I want to be with. It’s like I have put him on a pedestal. I feel like when I was with him life wasn’t as “ scary” or like I always had someone to come home too literally and figuratively. I feel so foolish I’m not getting better.
- Date posted
- 5y ago
I try to do my regular activities but my thought always goes to “ if he was still in my life “ I would be happy doing these activities” I basically feel anxious and scared, scared I’m going to be like this forever since it’s already been two years since we broke up....As far as new relationships I’ve made some new friendships but o find myself thinking these are not the people I want to be with. It’s like I have put him on a pedestal. I feel like when I was with him life wasn’t as “ scary” or like I always had someone to come home too literally and figuratively. I feel so foolish I’m not getting better.
- Date posted
- 5y ago
Did the break up come as a shock? Maybe that's why it had such a huge impact
- Date posted
- 5y ago
@NOCD Advocate - Katie Yes it was a shock and I had just but a house that I thought would eventually move into. My ex contacted me two months after we broke up just as I was starting to feel normal again I then went back into an anxious state But continued to see him because he started to help me with home remodels I was also on limited duty for a bad back injury. My brother committed suicide a few months later while he was on duty as a veteran police detective. So basically a lot happened in the year of 2018. 2019 I was determined to get my life back together. My back was getting better and I began eating better and losing weight and started exercising again. (Sorry I’m ranting) needless to say I was starting to feel hopeful. However the thoughts came back and I started feeling sad, guilty, and alone. I feel stupid writing this. Thanks for lisrening.
- Date posted
- 5y ago
@JodyASch So it's not just the break up that you're grieving
- Date posted
- 5y ago
@NOCD Advocate - Katie I guess not. ?
Related posts
- Date posted
- 20w ago
I’ve just recently found out that Relationship OCD is a thing. I feel like I relate but it also feels like relationship trauma. I’m in a fairly new relationship and I keep telling myself that things are going great, we are good, he cares for me, but does he? There’s this unbelievable amount of self doubt that sits in me because of what my ex did to me many months ago. I kept getting told that I do too much, i smother, need constant reassurance, then got told that I don’t care enough, the things I do aren’t enough and that I’m not enough. I feel like I am waiting for the day that I get broken up with because of these “problems” just so I can be proven right at the fact that I should be considered unlovable. I go through this every month around my period because I get so emotional and nervous that I stress over the idea that he doesn’t like me. How does someone continue a relationship with Relationship OCD? How do I explain it?
- Date posted
- 12w ago
When my boyfriend and I are apart, it honestly feels like I've lost all feelings for him. I start questioning everything, wondering if I even love him at all. Then, when we're finally together again, the memory of those earlier doubts creeps in and completely ruins the moment. I get so caught up in overthinking and analyzing my feelings that I can't even enjoy being with him. It's like I'm constantly second-guessing myself. The worst part is, sometimes later, when we're still together, I do feel the love. But then the anxiety kicks in again! I start worrying that I'm just faking it because I had those doubts earlier in the day. It's this endless cycle of questioning, doubting, and overthinking, and it's exhausting. I'm really struggling to stay present when we're together, and it feels like this constant cycle is preventing me from truly connecting with him. We have been together for three years and we love together, and I just started feeling this way about a month ago; it’s been almost every day since. One day, I randomly thought about breaking up with him. Our relationship is healthy, especially compared to my previous toxic one, where I was anxiously attached for two and a half years. My boyfriend is very supportive of me. I have talked to him about my doubts and everything I’m experiencing, and he continues to support, care for, and help me through it all. I am very grateful for that. One aspect of my current relationship that I would like to improve is our communication, but we are both willing to work on it together. I often find that my overthinking leads me to question whether I really want to try to fix things or if I’d rather just continue as we are. This creates a constant push and pull in our relationship. Has anyone else experienced something similar? Any advice on how to break this cycle and just be present in the moment? I'd love to hear from anyone who's been through something like this.
- Date posted
- 10w ago
I’m new to the app and wanting to know who else experiences this form of ocd. Some background I was a therapist for over 10 years now I am out of the clinical space. So I have background knowledge of ocd but never knew much about relationship ocd. I realized over the last several years with my now fiancé, that I have a hard time just letting go in general, whether that’s an argument or statement or feeling. I want to be able to just accept things at face value and move on (and talk later if my partner is ready as needed). But when conflict arises I can’t disengage till there is a clear resolution. It’s causing serious strife as he can feel trapped and it escalates the argument. I am reading more and this sounds like relationship OCD. Anyone else experience this? Curious on what others have done to work on this for themselves. I do have a therapist but we are not doing work in this area yet as I am realizing this is an actual concern.
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