Hello there, Just wondering if anyone has had a real difficult time letting go of a past relationship? I’m talking I’ve been anxious and depressed for two year after I was broken up with. I obsess and over analyze what I did wrong and or keep reliving when we first met and how good thing were. I’m seeing a therapist and she helps but doesn’t really give me ways to help stop these thoughts. I’m wondering if I should seek a new therapist who will be able give me tools to help get me through this. Thanks!

(22F) Broke up with my ex. Didn’t know what ROCD was at the time. He has moved on with someone new. The depression and regret has gotten really bad as of lately, and I don’t know what to do. I’m so tired. I kind of want to be single forever, though my heart yearns for connection. I’ve always wanted to be a mom and parent with someone I love one day. It’s not worth it if my mind is this way. I’m working with a NOCD therapist soon. If someone has a story similar I would love to hear, I’m really struggling. Thank you so much.

My partner broke up with my about 10 months ago. It came out of nowhere, and I got no explanation before they ghosted me and blocked me on all forms of contact. I have been horribly struggling since then with this obsessive need for closure. For a while I continued to try to reach out to them, on my own accord or through other people, but it just kept ending with more blocking. For months, I was going through the relationship and the breakup in my head over and over, picking it apart to try and figure out what went wrong, but without a conversation with my ex, I couldn't get anywhere. I am definitely doing much better now. the compulsions to reach out to her and the spiral obsession with figuring out what went wrong have both lessened. but they are still present, especially when I sleep. I really just want to be rid of the whole situation, but i want to do it in a healthy way without locking up my feelings. i really am at such a loss though. i still want answers and i still miss my ex in a lot of ways, but at the same time, the though of running into them scares the shit out of me. ive heard some horrible things about them since then, and how they have been spreading rumors about me behind my back. the situation cant seem to get any worse and it just keep happening. and it makes my ocd triggers so much worse too. idk, i will take literally any responses and any helpful advice.

Hi all, I’m new here and this is my first post. I was diagnosed with OCD back in March and started therapy, but was only able to complete a few sessions before my therapist had a baby. I have been in a relationship with my girlfriend for 11 months and I’ve constantly been thinking about her past. More specifically something she told me that happened while her and I were speaking. In just two days it will be a year since she told me about the fact that she was assaulted by someone she met online. ( we both met online). It took place while we were talking. Originally when she told me, she told me she had sex with a guy she met online she told me she went over to watch a movie and then they had sex. Recently after we discussed it since it was weighing on my mind, she revealed to me that it wasn’t consensual and that she was sexually assaulted/raped. She told me she initially thought it was sex because it’s what she was sued to from her last relationship. She was abused and assaulted a lot by her ex, and this thing was normal for her. She said she didn’t realize how bad everything was until after we had been dating and she saw what true consensual sex was. The problem I have is that my brain knows every detail of what happened but keeps blaming her for her. My brain keeps telling me it was her choice and her fault and it justifies it by saying that she went over knowing it was a possibility he would want sex, so therefore it’s her fault. This has been straining me for so long because I can’t stop thinking about it. Everything seems to trigger a thought about it. I know inside what happened and what led to it, but I constantly think about it possibly being something else. I constantly think about every little detail. It has led me to having thoughts of “maybe I shouldn’t date someone that did this” as it doesn’t match my definition of the “perfect partner”. I have no idea what to do anymore. I obsess over things she had done with her ex in order to be loved by him. Like drinking, smoking weed, etc all things that I am against. I know she doesn’t do this anymore and was coaxed into it, but I’m constantly overwhelmed by thoughts of “she isn’t perfect because of XYZ so I shouldn’t be with her”. I won’t go into any details about the assault out of respect for her. I feel I’m constantly fighting myself and every good day I have gets overshadowed by one bad day :( I cannot see my therapist again until August and it worries me a lot.