About this time last year my partner was out on a night out and didn’t come home till late. I was worried so rang him multiple times and no answer. About half an hour after I stopped calling he rang and was super apologetic. He was drunk with friends and they’d decided to smoke some weed (he’s not usually a big smoker) and he said he was just really high and had t noticed his phone. He then came straight home. The next day he said he felt really bad because he knew I was worried about him - after he apologised we resolved it and forgot about it. A few months later I had a huge ocd spike where I thought he was cheating on me / into someone else. It was triggered by a rough patch and him having a new friend he took to a party - which I thought meant he liked her- but actually there was meant to be more of them and she has a bf she has just moved in with and seems very loved up. It almost cost us the relationship, as I became so obsessed I would question everything and he couldn’t handle the constant questioning. He proclaims his innocence and has spoken with my therapist. I saw the texts with his friend and they were very platonic. On a side note, at the same time I decided to confide in him something that upset him a lot. He chose to forgive me from keeping it from him. But this added another layer to the issues as my ocd says he won’t tell you the truth because you didn’t tell him. What if he wants to hurt you back or thinks you don’t deserve to know the real truth after what you’ve done. Now my ocd will pick up on random stuff, recently I keep thinking about that night he didn’t answer the phone. I didn’t understand how he could miss all those calls, if I ask now he gets annoyed and upset. He said his phone was on silent and he told me he was very drunk and high and came home afterwards. I know it’s my ocd but I was cheated on in the past and I’m so terrified that I’ll believe someone again and it’ll all turn out to be a lie. I’m so scared how I could ever trust my instinct if that happened to me again. My bf is trying to help me overcome those theme but because it directly attacks him he’s found it hard. He says it’s okay to questions things I’m worried about and it’s okay to ask if things seem weird or I’m uncomfortable but the obsessive questioning has to stop. He said he’s given me answers, they’re not going to change and I should make a decision. It’s so hard to know what’s something I should be concerned about and what isn’t. I don’t even know what theme this would be, rocd? Paranoia? But it’s so intense, I find it so hard not to burst into tears if I can’t ask questions and I can’t see clearly what’s normal and what’s not.