Been ruminating a lot on the fact that the groinal responses that I got that caused my OCD all happened with kids of the same gender, that’s been terrifying me lately. It’s making it feel more real ya know? That if it was just OCD/intrusive thoughts it would be gender specific. Have any of you guys had anything like this, where the same type of kid caused your OCD to start?

This was so moving to read. I bookmarked it. Thank you so so much ❤️

Thank you again. It means a lot to hear you were thinking of me, and your advice is spot on. You’re exactly right about the feeling good in the moment and then the “but wait!”

No I know, I guess what scares me is that the responses happened with kids from the same gender. Like looking back I remember I had gotten a GR and this was before I really knew what POCD was. I’m scared that it’s a “pattern.”

I’m really so glad you wrote that. I keep rereading it. What’s scary is that these incidents happened before I was diagnosed with POCD, so they don’t register in my mind as a part of my OCD, but moments of my “regular” life where I had gotten a groinal response. If that makes any sense?I’m trying my best to follow your advice.

Just talk therapy. My new therapist and I just started getting into all of this.

@figuringitallout glad you're seeing a therapist. I no longer have issues and just did ERP and scripting at home by myself. Took me about ten sessions to feel cured. There is hope! I was ready to commit suicide because my thoughts were so abhorrent and pervasive. But now I feel free.

@James Oh my goodness I’m so glad you’re here and doing better! ❤️❤️❤️ do you suffer from POCD?

@James That is amazing. I've been in psychotherapy for a year and a half. Still struggling bad. I hope ERP helps. I tried it with my therapist for a session and fell into a depression and almost quit.

@figuringitallout Yes I did but I don't any longer. The thoughts still appear but they no longer phase me. I no longer have to 'check' every time a thought appears. It just passes through and I move on with my life.

@christinejg94 Best of luck! I usually meditate for a few minutes before I do an erp session to calm my mind.

@James Yes, my therapist stressed self care. I will have to do that for sure.

Best of luck in your recovery! Don't give up!

Go for it!

@James I know I shared my story before, and people may not be interested, but I need to get this all off my chest (again.) I am struggling because I remember when I was younger working at summer camp I had gotten semi-erections (I guess the proper OCD term is groinal response but I didn’t really have bad intrusive thoughts then) when playing with some of the kids. It only happened a few times, and I have done enough research ad nauseam to know that this can happen to someone, and I do accept that. However, what is scaring me now is that all of the times it happened it was a male child, and I am convinced now this means something. I know I have/never had any desire to hurt a kid, and when I told my therapist this she did not show concern, said all the usual stuff (it’s just a reaction to something on your body/ hormones/anxiety) all of which I agree with, and yet I am stuck here. The gender thing I am just hung up on.I know seeking reassurance is bad, but just hearing that I’m not being judged can help tremendously. Please don’t think I’m a sick person.

@figuringitallout I know I pretty much said this in my original post but lol I kind of wanted to provide more details. Please don’t judge me!

@figuringitallout Yes you are not alone in your experience.

@James Omg you think? I feel like I’m the only person who has experienced something like this. The gender thing especially with groinal responses.

@figuringitallout You are not the only person.

@James How do you use this site without getting triggered?

@christinejg94 I can't explain it really but I don't get triggered any more. I've posted in the past about my experience with erp and scripting. Those combined with meditation and a few lifestyle changes have seemed to cure me. No guarantee I won't relapse but right now I feel free and just want to help others who are going through what I went through.

@James That is so fantastic. I wish you the best in your future!

@James Also, what is scripting?

@christinejg94 Writing out your worst fears and the scenarios in your head and reading them over and over again. It desensitized me to those thoughts and they still show up but my mind just lets them float by mostly unnoticed. There is an exercise in mindfulness ocd book that I used.

@James Oh, okay. That's the exercise I tried once and almost quit therapy. ?

@christinejg94 Haha yeah it's scary for sure. But I feel it was crucial to my healing. I'm not a therapist but I think the mind likes novelty and things its not supposed to think. So letting it see those thoughts and make them mundane takes their power away. I still get those thoughts and sometimes even try to engage with them to see if I'm still affected but honestly my mind just finds them boring and moves on.

@James Instead of finding my fears mundane, repeating them made me believe they may be true and that wasn't a life I was willing to live. Hopefully instead of thinking, "this is true and you have to deal with it" it'll be more along the lines of, "this is a thought and you don't have to like it but it's here for a bit. How would you like to proceed?"

@christinejg94 Yeah I understand that. I had those fears arise as well.

So glad to hear you say this! And I’m sorry you went through something similar. Are you doing okay with it?

No problem! You’ve been such an amazing help today. I’m sorry to hear you had similar issues, but you seem so intelligent with how you handle it!