- Username
- Ibbies
- Date posted
- 4y ago
Labels are no good. Drop the label and talk to a therapist.
Hi, thank you for your reply. I will definitely take what you said into consideration.
I have exactly the same fear and I had ROCD HOCD so when I suddenly felt a huge anxiety I thought it was my ocd coming back. It started from a thought on my partner and I résisted doing compulsions but then it got stuck on suicide. And I have never expérienced this THEME. I think ocd can trigger anything and got you paralyzed. The more you try to get out of your bed thé better you'll be. It's hard, everyday, every hour but we have to push back.
@amel Wow, thank you for your response. I know how experiencing a new theme must feel terrifying. I will definitely try to force myself to get out of bed although it is extremely hard when I am suffering so much.
@Ibbies I know how hard it is but in these moments I try to force myself and tell me that I'm training and rewiring my brain. There is no danger. It is terrifying and I know how real it feels when we resist mental compulsions but I think it's the only way to recover.
@amel I understand and I’ll definitely try to work on that, it’s just also very hard during these times.
Hello! I just wanted to reach out and let you know that I went through something very similar. Everyday I was paralyzed by fear of being suicidal. Finally I had enough and I found and OCD therapist who specializes in ONLY OCD and anxiety. This literally turned my life around and I think you should do this too if you haven’t already! Also, I wanted to encourage you and tell you that the BEST thing you can do for yourself right now is to get out of bed, eat some good nutritious meals. I know it’s so hard right now but when you stay in bed in fear that you’re going to harm yourself, you’re going to keep your mind in that fear. When you live your life PARALELL to the fear, it makes it a lot easier to manage, I promise you! You CAN do this! Be kind to yourself!
Hi, thank you very much for reaching out. I was beginning to feel very lonely in this and it was driving me crazy. I am still searching for a good OCD therapist online but I’m unable to find one just yet but as time passes, I get more concerned over my safety from the compulsions.
@Ibbies I think you should start doing what I did, which was ERP! Until you find a good OCD therapist. Just start small, write sentences or watch a clip from a movie or something! The point of ERP is to sit through your triggers or what you’re scared of while resisting doing compulsions. For me, I did one ERP where I had to watch a part of the show “13 reasons why” and I was SO terrified to watch but when I did my anxiety got lower and lower. Start putting yourself and your health first in life, I promise you can do this and you are not alone whatsoever!! You have a whole community here on this app that are all dealing with similar things.
@Ibbies Compulsions can also be mental rituals and ruminating like you said you were doing! Once you start resisting those compulsions you can start to make some head way! Everytime you go to ruminate or try to figure out in your mind, come back to the present moment and do something that you value instead! Like working out, talking to a family member, watching your fave show or whatever you like to do!
@dessann I would really love to start doing ERP but I am still concerned that what I have is not OCD but rather a very rare syndrome that comes from taking a medication called Finasteride. However, the main symptoms of this syndrome are mainly sexual but I don’t think I have any sexual issues but the syndrome is linked to depressiom and suicide and that is what’s truly freaking me out.
@Ibbies This is where you should try and live with the uncertainty.. I know it’s hard but you have to say “maybe this is from the medicine maybe it’s not.” OCD attacks what we most care about in our lives! It can even make you feel like you want something that you don’t. Try looking up Ali Greymond on Apple podcasts or on YouTube! She gives so many good pointers on OCD and living with uncertainty, she also dealt with OCD herself!
@dessann Yeah, that’s what really scares me the most. It’s like deep down inside of me, I’m trying to do whatever it takes to feel safe because I don’t want it to happen. The problem is that my brain isn’t giving me the chance to just live with uncertainty, it’s constantly trying to make me think this through and try to find answers. I’ll look up Ali Greymond for sure, thanks.
This is normal for people with OCD. Do you have a therapist at the moment? If not, I would recommend one before you think about hospitalizing yourself.
I was going to start online therapy with one but there was an issue with the payment so I am still searching for another one. I’m not in the US so I can’t make use of NOCD but do you know any online therapists you can recommend?
Hi no matter how bad it is it has to pass everything changes just hold on take it day by day you have dropped down the hole now its time to climb back up step by step see your doctor or therapist practice meditation it saved me from my mind YouTube it massive help good luck
Hi and thank you for your reply. I’ll definitely give these things a shot but I’m having trouble finding an online therapist at these times.
Hi Ibbies, first, I am SO sorry you are going through this. I'm not in healthcare, but just reading your post, it sounds to me like reaching out to get emergency help could be a good thing, or at the very least, getting into contact with the provider who prescribed your Finasteride if they are quickly accessible. I looked up the drug quickly, and as you said, depression can be a side effect of Finasteride, and it says to tell your doctor if the symptom is severe or does not go away. You do not have to go through this alone, and I am proud of you for already taking the step to post on here what you are going through, especially in the midst of feeling this way. That in itself is demonstrating your resilience, but I hope you take additional steps forward, even if they are difficult. You can get through this, and I hope you will reach out to a professional or a supportive friend who can walk alongside you through this. I will hold that hope of recovery along with you, and with everyone else who is reading this and suffering right now. My symptoms have not been the same as yours described here, but I can tell you the miracle of a new life after getting through really difficult symptoms, whether from a medication or from OCD. It's possible - hold onto hope.
Can Suicidal OCD make you reach a state where you believe that you really want to die and in turn feel complete hopelessness and depression to the point where you are unable to function at all? I’ve reached this point and the thoughts still cause me so much distress and I feel like I’m in great danger.
Hey y’all i need to know if someone relates to what I’m going through. I feel almost like if I wanted to act on my thoughts but I actually don’t because this doesn’t please me at all. So if someone told me “You have Harm OCD” I would be like “really? So I don’t wanna harm people? Neither am I capable?” I have no clue why would that be my answer when I haven’t desired anything. But somehow it makes me feel like I do, and consequently makes me feel like I’m in denial. So it feels like if an unconscious part of me wants to do it but I am just resisting. I literally can’t go anywhere, I don’t wanna live any second more, because I feel so disturbed all the time. I feel like I’m gonna end up doing it, I feel so overwhelmed by these feelings,thoughts, images, urges, that I would avoid everything, like going anywhere. I hate feeling like this but I feel like there’s no way back, i can’t picture myself being good in the future because I feel like “this is what i want” when it’s not. I feel like it’s a time bomb for me to do something. I do not tolerate this, every minute that passes by I feel it closer to happen. I feel like I’m gonna collapse and act on it. I don’t even know if that’s what I want, but I don’t think it is, I think it just feels like it. Help I don’t know what to do.
Have any of you been stuck in what feels like an OCD loop? It’s like being held hostage by OCD. It’s like everything becomes a trigger. Like there isn’t a part of the day where I’m not having intrusive thoughts because it’s the only thing my brain can think about. So every conversation I’m thinking of horrible things I could say, every time I pet my dog think of things I could do to hurt her, anytime I drive I think of hitting pedestrians, every time I’m alone I think of ways I could hurt myself. It honestly feels like my brains on fire I’m starting to think I might have some kind of destructive brain tumour because I can’t comprehend how this can all be mental illness. It’s the ‘urge’ I can’t deal with it feels so real. I’ve had mental illness and likely OCD my whole life but nothing has ever made me feel as scared and hopeless as this. I’ve been having horrible migraine attacks daily for months and I think the trigger is the stress and anxiety these thoughts cause. I feel like I can never rest. It’s like my head is caught in a vice and my eye sight is constant flashes and static. Blood tests normal and two eye tests back normal. I can barely work as my whole job is computer based. I don’t even know how I would begin to do ERP because it feels like I’d have to tackle EVERYTHING about being alive! I also don’t think I have any compulsions. If I do none of them provide any relief so it’s basically just me feeling like I’m going insane every single day since October. It’s impossible to relax when my brain thinks we’re either going to die of a brain tumour or going insane and hurting myself against my will or doing something to someone else that would mean I would have to kill myself. My brain honestly believes it’s inevitable I won’t be along for much longer and it’s petrifying. I don’t know how to get better until I can reset my body to get out of this cycle. How am I supposed to move forward when my brain and body is in constant fight and flight? Does anybody relate? My brain doesn’t even believe this is OCD anymore… I guess this is reassurance but I’m having such a terrible time.
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