Ibbies
- Date posted
- 5y
Stronger. Stronger.
- Date posted
- 5y
Labels are no good. Drop the label and talk to a therapist.
IbbiesIbbies
- Date posted
- 5y
Hi, thank you for your reply. I will definitely take what you said into consideration.
amelamel
- Date posted
- 5y
I have exactly the same fear and I had ROCD HOCD so when I suddenly felt a huge anxiety I thought it was my ocd coming back. It started from a thought on my partner and I résisted doing compulsions but then it got stuck on suicide. And I have never expérienced this THEME. I think ocd can trigger anything and got you paralyzed. The more you try to get out of your bed thé better you'll be. It's hard, everyday, every hour but we have to push back.
IbbiesIbbies
- Date posted
- 5y
@amel Wow, thank you for your response. I know how experiencing a new theme must feel terrifying. I will definitely try to force myself to get out of bed although it is extremely hard when I am suffering so much.
amelamel
- Date posted
- 5y
@Ibbies I know how hard it is but in these moments I try to force myself and tell me that I'm training and rewiring my brain. There is no danger. It is terrifying and I know how real it feels when we resist mental compulsions but I think it's the only way to recover.
IbbiesIbbies
- Date posted
- 5y
@amel I understand and I’ll definitely try to work on that, it’s just also very hard during these times.
youarelovedyouareloved
- Date posted
- 5y
Hello! I just wanted to reach out and let you know that I went through something very similar. Everyday I was paralyzed by fear of being suicidal. Finally I had enough and I found and OCD therapist who specializes in ONLY OCD and anxiety. This literally turned my life around and I think you should do this too if you haven’t already! Also, I wanted to encourage you and tell you that the BEST thing you can do for yourself right now is to get out of bed, eat some good nutritious meals. I know it’s so hard right now but when you stay in bed in fear that you’re going to harm yourself, you’re going to keep your mind in that fear. When you live your life PARALELL to the fear, it makes it a lot easier to manage, I promise you! You CAN do this! Be kind to yourself!
IbbiesIbbies
- Date posted
- 5y
Hi, thank you very much for reaching out. I was beginning to feel very lonely in this and it was driving me crazy. I am still searching for a good OCD therapist online but I’m unable to find one just yet but as time passes, I get more concerned over my safety from the compulsions.
youarelovedyouareloved
- Date posted
- 5y
@Ibbies I think you should start doing what I did, which was ERP! Until you find a good OCD therapist. Just start small, write sentences or watch a clip from a movie or something! The point of ERP is to sit through your triggers or what you’re scared of while resisting doing compulsions. For me, I did one ERP where I had to watch a part of the show “13 reasons why” and I was SO terrified to watch but when I did my anxiety got lower and lower. Start putting yourself and your health first in life, I promise you can do this and you are not alone whatsoever!! You have a whole community here on this app that are all dealing with similar things.
youarelovedyouareloved
- Date posted
- 5y
@Ibbies Compulsions can also be mental rituals and ruminating like you said you were doing! Once you start resisting those compulsions you can start to make some head way! Everytime you go to ruminate or try to figure out in your mind, come back to the present moment and do something that you value instead! Like working out, talking to a family member, watching your fave show or whatever you like to do!
IbbiesIbbies
- Date posted
- 5y
@dessann I would really love to start doing ERP but I am still concerned that what I have is not OCD but rather a very rare syndrome that comes from taking a medication called Finasteride. However, the main symptoms of this syndrome are mainly sexual but I don’t think I have any sexual issues but the syndrome is linked to depressiom and suicide and that is what’s truly freaking me out.
youarelovedyouareloved
- Date posted
- 5y
@Ibbies This is where you should try and live with the uncertainty.. I know it’s hard but you have to say “maybe this is from the medicine maybe it’s not.” OCD attacks what we most care about in our lives! It can even make you feel like you want something that you don’t. Try looking up Ali Greymond on Apple podcasts or on YouTube! She gives so many good pointers on OCD and living with uncertainty, she also dealt with OCD herself!
IbbiesIbbies
- Date posted
- 5y
@dessann Yeah, that’s what really scares me the most. It’s like deep down inside of me, I’m trying to do whatever it takes to feel safe because I don’t want it to happen. The problem is that my brain isn’t giving me the chance to just live with uncertainty, it’s constantly trying to make me think this through and try to find answers. I’ll look up Ali Greymond for sure, thanks.
sillybilly sillybilly
- Date posted
- 5y
This is normal for people with OCD. Do you have a therapist at the moment? If not, I would recommend one before you think about hospitalizing yourself.
IbbiesIbbies
- Date posted
- 5y
I was going to start online therapy with one but there was an issue with the payment so I am still searching for another one. I’m not in the US so I can’t make use of NOCD but do you know any online therapists you can recommend?
egg101egg101
- Date posted
- 5y
Hi no matter how bad it is it has to pass everything changes just hold on take it day by day you have dropped down the hole now its time to climb back up step by step see your doctor or therapist practice meditation it saved me from my mind YouTube it massive help good luck
IbbiesIbbies
- Date posted
- 5y
Hi and thank you for your reply. I’ll definitely give these things a shot but I’m having trouble finding an online therapist at these times.
AmberCAmberC
- Date posted
- 5y
Hi Ibbies, first, I am SO sorry you are going through this. I'm not in healthcare, but just reading your post, it sounds to me like reaching out to get emergency help could be a good thing, or at the very least, getting into contact with the provider who prescribed your Finasteride if they are quickly accessible. I looked up the drug quickly, and as you said, depression can be a side effect of Finasteride, and it says to tell your doctor if the symptom is severe or does not go away. You do not have to go through this alone, and I am proud of you for already taking the step to post on here what you are going through, especially in the midst of feeling this way. That in itself is demonstrating your resilience, but I hope you take additional steps forward, even if they are difficult. You can get through this, and I hope you will reach out to a professional or a supportive friend who can walk alongside you through this. I will hold that hope of recovery along with you, and with everyone else who is reading this and suffering right now. My symptoms have not been the same as yours described here, but I can tell you the miracle of a new life after getting through really difficult symptoms, whether from a medication or from OCD. It's possible - hold onto hope.
Related posts
Callista Moore
- Date posted
- 25w
What is this?
This might be asking for reassurance but I’m at a point I’m not sure if this is ocd and who better to ask than you guys. Also want to mention I have been to a psychologist who diagnosed me with ocd and I’ve tried to seek therapy through NOCD but had a bad experience so I’m just looking for an opinion I’ll take with a grain of salt. I’ve been through bouts of pocd that I got through but now it’s morphed into something that feels so different. It’s like harm ocd and pocd together and it revolves around my daughter. Before this happened I was a loving mother who valued my kid more than anything. Now this is happening and it feels so sinister. I’m getting urges to do something bad and I get these feelings like I want to do that and it’s like my brain gets foggy and my values slip away and I feel like I could do it. But then I get a moment of clarity and I’m like wait a minute I’ve never hurt anyone in my life nor have I ever thought about it and this is my child what is happening. But then I get that foggy brain again and it’s like I can’t see her as my child. I try to sit with it and it’s like I get this adrenaline rush and feel like I have to do it. But I know I don’t want to do that, but then it’s like trying to make me want to want to. I’m not sure if I’m just lacking insight and clarity because I’m overwhelmed with the groinals, urges, thoughts and feelings but I just keep obsessing over the fact that death is my only way out. I don’t understand what happened to me. It feels like this demonic oppression and I don’t know how to get through this one or if this is still something I can get through because it might not be ocd. I try to go with the thoughts and feelings and say yeah maybe, maybe not, or yeah I’m going to do that but it seems to fuel the feelings. I feel like I’m teetering between the person I was and this evil awful person who has no regard for others. I don’t want to be around my daughter and I’m just angry all the time. The fear and anxiety used to be something I relied on and I feel none of that now. I used to be able to say “well no matter what I feel or think I can control my actions” and now it feels like I cannot control my actions but I’ve never hurt anyone before. Someone please give it to me straight and tell me if you think this might not be ocd.
frannyb
- Date posted
- 16w
I can't do this anymore
I can't live with OCD anymore. It's ruining my life. I feel like I'm being constantly bullied in my own mind all day everyday. I don't know if what I think and feel is ever real or normal or okay, what is me and what is the OCD thoughts. I don't know if any of my experiences are normal. I'm exhausted from picking apart every single conversation I ever have with anyone until I'm strung out by a vague and ambiguous feeling of guilt. I'm tired of feeling like I'm a bad person and feeling scared all the time and not knowing why and having my brain spin me out on an endless spiralling train of thoughts that never goes anywhere and just makes me feel disconnected from everything and everyone around me. I don't know what I feel and if what I feel is normal or if anything I am doing is real and actually me or if I'm 'losing my mind.' I don't even know if this makes any sense. I get into these states of mind where every thought in my head and everything I feel and perceive makes me question my own sanity. I don't know if anyone likes me because I have absolutely no concept of what I am actually like. I feel completely lost and confused CONSTANTLY.
findingmyway1
- Date posted
- 16w
Never thought I would be writing this.
Hello, I unknowingly have lived with ROCD or OCD (not sure what one. I’m new to this). It has ruined so many amazing romantic and platonic relationships and I am so sad that just now I am finding out what the hell is wrong with me. Maybe life would be different if I have known. My OCD and anxiety is at an all time high (ATH) due to some horrible events that have happened in the recent months. I am at the point where paranoia has taken over my life now. I had my first panic attack a few weeks ago where I fainted. My anxiety attacks are so extreme I go thought cognitive distortion that has lasted days. My girlfriend of 3 years is my emotional guardian and she no long has the energy to be that and honestly it’s not her responsibility to be that. She is bi and wanted to have an open relationship and for someone who has OCD this has not been good for me. She also was assaulted in my own home by a good friend of ours when I was out of town but it’s not a clear situation because it sounded consensual at first. I just left my very high paying job. I am financially secure but the job was emotionally abusive and looking back made my OCD worse. I am taking some time off to get my head right…but now, all I have to do during the day is live in my OCD. I’m very happy I finally figured out why I act the way I do but I don’t know if I can get better quick enough to save my relationship. I have never been so worried about myself (M 28 years old). I am a confident young professional and never thought I would be writing on a page like this. Anyway…I hope it gets better.
Be a part of the largest OCD Community
Share your thoughts so the Community can respond