- Username
- Ibbies
- Date posted
- 4y ago
Labels are no good. Drop the label and talk to a therapist.
Hi, thank you for your reply. I will definitely take what you said into consideration.
I have exactly the same fear and I had ROCD HOCD so when I suddenly felt a huge anxiety I thought it was my ocd coming back. It started from a thought on my partner and I résisted doing compulsions but then it got stuck on suicide. And I have never expérienced this THEME. I think ocd can trigger anything and got you paralyzed. The more you try to get out of your bed thé better you'll be. It's hard, everyday, every hour but we have to push back.
@amel Wow, thank you for your response. I know how experiencing a new theme must feel terrifying. I will definitely try to force myself to get out of bed although it is extremely hard when I am suffering so much.
@Ibbies I know how hard it is but in these moments I try to force myself and tell me that I'm training and rewiring my brain. There is no danger. It is terrifying and I know how real it feels when we resist mental compulsions but I think it's the only way to recover.
@amel I understand and I’ll definitely try to work on that, it’s just also very hard during these times.
Hello! I just wanted to reach out and let you know that I went through something very similar. Everyday I was paralyzed by fear of being suicidal. Finally I had enough and I found and OCD therapist who specializes in ONLY OCD and anxiety. This literally turned my life around and I think you should do this too if you haven’t already! Also, I wanted to encourage you and tell you that the BEST thing you can do for yourself right now is to get out of bed, eat some good nutritious meals. I know it’s so hard right now but when you stay in bed in fear that you’re going to harm yourself, you’re going to keep your mind in that fear. When you live your life PARALELL to the fear, it makes it a lot easier to manage, I promise you! You CAN do this! Be kind to yourself!
Hi, thank you very much for reaching out. I was beginning to feel very lonely in this and it was driving me crazy. I am still searching for a good OCD therapist online but I’m unable to find one just yet but as time passes, I get more concerned over my safety from the compulsions.
@Ibbies I think you should start doing what I did, which was ERP! Until you find a good OCD therapist. Just start small, write sentences or watch a clip from a movie or something! The point of ERP is to sit through your triggers or what you’re scared of while resisting doing compulsions. For me, I did one ERP where I had to watch a part of the show “13 reasons why” and I was SO terrified to watch but when I did my anxiety got lower and lower. Start putting yourself and your health first in life, I promise you can do this and you are not alone whatsoever!! You have a whole community here on this app that are all dealing with similar things.
@Ibbies Compulsions can also be mental rituals and ruminating like you said you were doing! Once you start resisting those compulsions you can start to make some head way! Everytime you go to ruminate or try to figure out in your mind, come back to the present moment and do something that you value instead! Like working out, talking to a family member, watching your fave show or whatever you like to do!
@dessann I would really love to start doing ERP but I am still concerned that what I have is not OCD but rather a very rare syndrome that comes from taking a medication called Finasteride. However, the main symptoms of this syndrome are mainly sexual but I don’t think I have any sexual issues but the syndrome is linked to depressiom and suicide and that is what’s truly freaking me out.
@Ibbies This is where you should try and live with the uncertainty.. I know it’s hard but you have to say “maybe this is from the medicine maybe it’s not.” OCD attacks what we most care about in our lives! It can even make you feel like you want something that you don’t. Try looking up Ali Greymond on Apple podcasts or on YouTube! She gives so many good pointers on OCD and living with uncertainty, she also dealt with OCD herself!
@dessann Yeah, that’s what really scares me the most. It’s like deep down inside of me, I’m trying to do whatever it takes to feel safe because I don’t want it to happen. The problem is that my brain isn’t giving me the chance to just live with uncertainty, it’s constantly trying to make me think this through and try to find answers. I’ll look up Ali Greymond for sure, thanks.
This is normal for people with OCD. Do you have a therapist at the moment? If not, I would recommend one before you think about hospitalizing yourself.
I was going to start online therapy with one but there was an issue with the payment so I am still searching for another one. I’m not in the US so I can’t make use of NOCD but do you know any online therapists you can recommend?
Hi no matter how bad it is it has to pass everything changes just hold on take it day by day you have dropped down the hole now its time to climb back up step by step see your doctor or therapist practice meditation it saved me from my mind YouTube it massive help good luck
Hi and thank you for your reply. I’ll definitely give these things a shot but I’m having trouble finding an online therapist at these times.
Hi Ibbies, first, I am SO sorry you are going through this. I'm not in healthcare, but just reading your post, it sounds to me like reaching out to get emergency help could be a good thing, or at the very least, getting into contact with the provider who prescribed your Finasteride if they are quickly accessible. I looked up the drug quickly, and as you said, depression can be a side effect of Finasteride, and it says to tell your doctor if the symptom is severe or does not go away. You do not have to go through this alone, and I am proud of you for already taking the step to post on here what you are going through, especially in the midst of feeling this way. That in itself is demonstrating your resilience, but I hope you take additional steps forward, even if they are difficult. You can get through this, and I hope you will reach out to a professional or a supportive friend who can walk alongside you through this. I will hold that hope of recovery along with you, and with everyone else who is reading this and suffering right now. My symptoms have not been the same as yours described here, but I can tell you the miracle of a new life after getting through really difficult symptoms, whether from a medication or from OCD. It's possible - hold onto hope.
(PLEASE HELP IM BEGGING!) Hey guys, right now I’m having suicidal OCD and it’s really fucking scaring me because I know I want to live but it’s feeling like I’m going to end my life any second or any day now and that I’m going to die soon, and I’m afraid that I’m going to come up with a plan and go through with it, or say fuck it, I don’t care about recovery, be selfish and just do it. I’m SO scared I don’t know what to do anymore, I don’t know if these are real suicidal thoughts or just my OCD attacking me and I’m genuinely scared for my life. It’s like every second of the day I get a stupid intrusive suicidal thought and it makes me feel like I’m really suicidal and that I don’t want to live anymore, for ANYTHING positive I hear, I twist it and make it negative and tell myself, you’re going to die soon, or you’re gonna kill yourself anyway, you don’t have a future, you don’t care anymore. I even feel a lil bit down and sad when I get these thoughts and I start to feel depersonalization, I almost feel depressed when I get these thoughts all day and it makes me feel like I’m genuinely gonna get depressed and the suicidal thoughts will become REAL I’m so scared. Even when my parents tell me that I’m going to be ok and not do anything, I tell myself in my mind that I’m still going to go through with suicide and just kill myself. I don’t have a set plan and I’m afraid that I may develop a plan and want to go through with it. IM SCARED FOR MY LIFE! IM SO FUCKING SCARED PLEASE HELP PLEASE! Anyone that has gone through this PLEASE HELP! Going into a hospital won’t help because I’m not ACTUALLY suicidal but these thoughts make me FEEL like I am and it’s just SO confusing I don’t know what’s real and what’s not!!! PLEASE HELP ANYONE!!!! I’m so fucking scared ??
At this point I’m pretty sure I’m psychotic. I have intrusive thoughts all day long of me doing a bunch of things that I never and will never do. Images of me poking out my own eyes in all sorts of other horrific things that will have to do with self mutilation. These images have been haunting me for two years with the persisting fear that I will act out on these things one day despite me never wanting to do so. Now on top of these thoughts I am dealing with something else. I keep thinking about the fact that there’s no escape from life other than death and it makes me feel scared and trapped. I can’t stop thinking about this that there’s no escape. It’s scaring me. I want to live I have no desire to die but once I get the intrusive thought about not being able to escape this life is scaring me. I believe I’m going through depersonalization because nothing feels right my surroundings feel unfamiliar I feel unfamiliar. I feel like an alien in a place that seems unknown to me. This all started after I had a panic attack in the shower three weeks ago over my intrusive harm thoughts and in the moment I actually thought that my life was over and that I was about to act out on it but of course I didn’t because it’s just a thought and an obsessive fear. Something I would never do but it felt so real in that momentI almost passed out from the fear. The day after that I felt like nothing was real and I’m still in depersonalization and having panic attacks on the regular but today I got that thought about not being able to escape life and how we’re basically all trapped here. I can’t stop thinking it and it’s making me feel sick. Maybe if I Felt more connected to myself and my surroundings stuff like this wouldn’t bother me but that panic attack destroyed me. Does this sound like OCD or something else?I was completely normal and fine three weeks ago yes I had my intrusive thoughts but they weren’t scaring me or controlling me like they are now.
I can’t figure out if I’m really suicidal or just obsessing over the thought of it. Im to scared to even do it. I don't know if this is my OCD or what but for the past week or so it's been really bothering me these thoughts that I am on edge, scared. I haven't eaten in 3 days. I have imagined every single way of doing it, and everything and it makes me SICK. It feels like an urge at this point. I start to feel like maybe I could actually do it, then I feel myself about to go into a panic attack. I already feel derealization where this world doesn't feel real and nobody seems real to me, and my family feels like strangers and I'm just really scared. I feel very scared. I don't physically feel like I'm "here." I feel like my mind is lost. I feel like I just want to be at peace and then I think I’m seriously suicidal and the cycle just keeps repeating itself. Im sick to my stomach and terrified.
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