- Username
- Blade118
- Date posted
- 4y ago
“I feel like I don’t do any reassurance that I am straight because al I think of is gay acts 24/7 trying to find some level of dislike”. Sounds like reassurance seeking to me
Yes it probably is but I have lost all desire to be with women and then start questioning whether I was every into them. I thought about kissing my brother earlier and feel no dislike when I thought about it. I just don’t know this is OCD and I feel like I am. I have heard certain stories about people going out and trying it and feel this is the only way I am going to know for sure even though half the time I think I know I am. Does HOcD mean your not gay or could it mean you are?
Hi! I was going through the same thing about a week ago. For me, I had to STOP imagining scenarios with the same sex to see how I “felt” about it. This is called body scanning! It’s where you try to see how you “feel” throughout different areas of your body. I had to realize that sometimes thoughts/feelings (especially because you didn’t have these feelings at first) are NOT reality. This is OCD tricking you. Trying to see how you “feel” about a certain scenario is a compulsion, and then coming on the app to ask I would say is seeking reassurance. You really have to try to just sit with the discomfort, and you will feel better in the long run. You have to sit with the discomfort of saying “maybe I’m gay maybe I’m not”, rather than fighting these thoughts. Hope you feel better soon.
Is this common because I lay on my back imagining what it feels like, kiss walls, I even sucked a cucumber last week. is that what you have to do maybe I am gay maybe I am not. What were you thinking of. I have now split from my partner of 9 years as she can’t take anymore of me saying I know I am gay and I can see myself doing it, telling her all about this graphic thoughts, tell her that i have been out and kissed a guy and enjoyed it.
Sadly I cannot give you reassurance because that will make your situation worse. Just breath. Maybe you are gay maybe you’re not, and you just have to accept that right now until you are in a calm state of mind.
HOCDers: do any of you ever go through moments that feel like realisation or discovery of being gay (I hate this so much because I know I’m not) Also does your ocd ever make you feel funny about being straight when you know you are? Sometimes if I say to myself ‘I’m straight’ I get a sensation that isn’t quite anxiety, I don’t know if it’s a longing/missing just knowing?
This feels weird. I feel like I’m gay, and when I “accept” My thoughts I don’t feel good or pleasure, just this weight on my chest. Like my mind says “okay you’re gay see” but when I think of me in gay scenarios I feel no pleasure at all. Yet I lost my attraction to women. My mind still says I’m gay though I feel nothing towards men. But it appears my attraction to women disappeared as well. What is this? Why did I used to have extremely mad anxiety over gay thoughts and now that I finally faced my thoughts I feel nothing as well? Like seriously what is this. I used to be girl crazy like to another level. Now I’m not attracted to women at all apparently but when I “accept” my thoughts and say ok I’m gay, I feel nothing towards men either. Is this still ocd? And why when I do have anxiety with gay thoughts it seems like I AM attracted to men. I don’t understand this. Do any of you have any experience and share some insight?
So my hocd started over 2 years ago (I’m 20 yrs old now), when I was having a conversation with one of my friends and the thought popped into the back of my head what if the reason I don’t have a crush on any guys at my high school is because I’m a lesbian. Since then my sexuality has been on my mind 24/7 I didn’t know this was ocd until about a year ago but i’m only seeking treatment now. The hocd ramped up when I felt super aroused watching a movie with topless women, something that had never happened when watching men. Thing is I genuinely think I’m gay now, I’ve had this for so long that at first the thoughts disgusted me and caused me anxiety but now they don’t anymore. I saw so many tiktok videos about “pipelines” of certain interests gay people have that triggered me and read the comphet masterdoc which made me cry when I read it because I related to so much of it. When I was a child I was never boy crazy, I never really crushed on boys in my class (to be fair there were only 7) however I do remember writing a love note to a boy in first grade and having an immense celebrity crush on a disney channel star. I remember to certain things I did as a child that lead me to think I am gay and they keep replaying over and over in my head. Thing is over the past year I’ve had crushes on 3 guys I’ve met through dating apps. The last one I actually hung out with and I had my first kiss/makeout session 2 months ago. After that my hocd calmed down I enjoyed kissing him it felt euphoric the whole drive home just replaying our dates in my head. But now I can’t get the thought out of my head what if I didn’t like it enough? I didn’t get butterflies when we kissed (i do when I think back about it though) and didnt feel super aroused like that time I watched that movie. I feel nothing when I look at pictures and videos of men but with women I started getting this warm feeling in my chest which stressed me out even more. Idk what I am anymore and it is driving me insane. Does anyone relate?
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