- Date posted
- 5y
- Date posted
- 5y
I hear you. I’ve been with my girlfriend for over a year and I’m constantly overthinking the relationship. Idk if it’s my OCD or not, but it seems to happen in every relationship I get in. During the relationship I constantly tell myself it’s not going anywhere so what’s the point? I think I’m scared of commitment. I’m also a perfectionist, so whenever she doesn’t act the way I think she will in my head, I get annoyed for some reason. It’s like I expect her to read my mind. Definitely a cognitive distortion. Wish I had all the answers.
- Date posted
- 5y
I completely feel the same way! This is the third serious relationship I’ve been in And every past relationship I have been the one to end it because I feel exactly everything you described... it sucks because I do want to get married and have kids but I’m scared of commitment as well. It’s like I’ll find the smallest things he does and just think well maybe he’s just not the one for me. But deep down I know he’s great and I don’t want to lose him. I just don’t want to keep making this a viscous cycle where I end up alone ?
- Date posted
- 5y
I definitely understand. It’s weird because my girlfriend now is awesome and I know she’d do anything for me, but I still just always look for reasons to be less interested. I also haven’t been broken up with before. It’s weird because afterwards I’ll tell myself I was too hard on them for little things, but I won’t really be that sad because I know I can live fine without them. It’s almost as if I just want someone around that I know really wants me.
- Date posted
- 5y
@Sam10 Yeah I understand. I honestly think it’s me and not them. Nobody’s perfect especially me lol so I have to remember not to have such high expectations. I hope things get better for you and your girl.
- Date posted
- 5y
Im like pushing through my anxiety to be with this girl because she’s amazing but now that marriage is a question i suddenly have no idea if i even want to be in it. All the little things are just being expanded into reasons why i shouldnt be with her
- Date posted
- 5y
Yes I feel it. My bf wants to move in together and it scares me so much. I don’t want him to think I don’t want to be with him because I do but I just can’t help but to feel this way. I hope things get better for you and you can find a way to get past that anxiety and be with your partner. I think it’s hard to find good relationships now. I’m hoping I do the same..
Related posts
- User type
- OCD Conqueror
- Date posted
- 24w
I’ve had so many moments of clarity with my OCD that I love my boyfriend and I’m beyond willing to go through this to be better and be with him. in the back of mind I’ve in a way known I was at least somewhat sexually attracted to women (I’m a woman) since the start of the ocd it was always like “okay. Fine, but I don’t want to date a girl” I only just realized this after the ocd started, I never really argued with this. my ocd has always revolved around if I’m romantically interested in women and not men. I’ve done so many compulsions through this year and a half and 9 times out of 10 have come to the conclusion that I don’t want to be with a woman romantically. I always end up feeling like I know I love my boyfriend. But the doubts don’t stop about whether I want to spend my life with a woman instead, my heart literally breaks to think of not being with my bf and imagining him with someone else. I don’t want to be with a woman I know deep down somewhere underneath the anxiety that that’s not what I want. It doesn’t feel natural for me, unfulfilling. I want to tell my boyfriend about the possible sexual attraction to women (ik it’s still ocd related) but I’m scared that once I tell him, I’ll realize that I actually do want to be with women and not with him. Ugh I’ve spent hours today ruminating about this after being solid in my commitment with him for a little while, I’m stuck in this loop and idk how to get out right now
- User type
- OCD Conqueror
- Date posted
- 13w
for me it’s getting to the point where i don’t feel in love with my boyfriend anymore. i’m trying to keep myself from compulsing since my compulsions are all mental. it’s like the thoughts consume my mind every second of every day and i can’t catch a break. it’s like i want to be with him so bad but my brain won’t allow me. any advice?
- Date posted
- 12w
Lately, I’ve been feeling extremely confused and guilty. My boyfriend has been really busy with exams, and we haven’t talked much this past week. I don’t really feel like I miss him, and that scares me. It makes me think maybe I don’t love him anymore, maybe I’ve changed, and maybe this relationship doesn’t feel right for me anymore. A few days ago, a friend invited me to go to a club with her and another girl. I know that if I went without my boyfriend, he would feel bad — not because he’s controlling, but because in our relationship, we’ve always had mutual boundaries and respect. I decided not to go, but ever since, I’ve been spiraling. My thoughts keep going: “What if I didn’t go just because of him?”, “What if I actually wanted to go, but I stopped myself because I don’t really love him?”, “What if I’m holding myself back and this relationship is limiting me?” All of this makes me think I’m bored, that I don’t like him anymore, or that I’m staying out of habit. It’s hard to tell what I really want or whether these thoughts are part of ROCD or some deeper truth. I keep wondering if I’m just attached to him because he’s my first boyfriend and we’ve been together for so long. Sometimes I even think I wouldn’t care if we broke up, and that I don’t feel anything for him anymore — and that absolutely destroys me, because he’s such a good person who truly loves me. He doesn’t deserve to be treated with so much doubt and coldness. I feel miserable. I don’t know what’s real and what’s just obsession. It hurts that I can’t feel any clarity or peace. I just want to know if this is ROCD or if I’m in denial and refusing to accept the truth
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