- Date posted
- 5y
- Date posted
- 5y
I hear you. I’ve been with my girlfriend for over a year and I’m constantly overthinking the relationship. Idk if it’s my OCD or not, but it seems to happen in every relationship I get in. During the relationship I constantly tell myself it’s not going anywhere so what’s the point? I think I’m scared of commitment. I’m also a perfectionist, so whenever she doesn’t act the way I think she will in my head, I get annoyed for some reason. It’s like I expect her to read my mind. Definitely a cognitive distortion. Wish I had all the answers.
- Date posted
- 5y
I completely feel the same way! This is the third serious relationship I’ve been in And every past relationship I have been the one to end it because I feel exactly everything you described... it sucks because I do want to get married and have kids but I’m scared of commitment as well. It’s like I’ll find the smallest things he does and just think well maybe he’s just not the one for me. But deep down I know he’s great and I don’t want to lose him. I just don’t want to keep making this a viscous cycle where I end up alone ?
- Date posted
- 5y
I definitely understand. It’s weird because my girlfriend now is awesome and I know she’d do anything for me, but I still just always look for reasons to be less interested. I also haven’t been broken up with before. It’s weird because afterwards I’ll tell myself I was too hard on them for little things, but I won’t really be that sad because I know I can live fine without them. It’s almost as if I just want someone around that I know really wants me.
- Date posted
- 5y
@Sam10 Yeah I understand. I honestly think it’s me and not them. Nobody’s perfect especially me lol so I have to remember not to have such high expectations. I hope things get better for you and your girl.
- Date posted
- 5y
Im like pushing through my anxiety to be with this girl because she’s amazing but now that marriage is a question i suddenly have no idea if i even want to be in it. All the little things are just being expanded into reasons why i shouldnt be with her
- Date posted
- 5y
Yes I feel it. My bf wants to move in together and it scares me so much. I don’t want him to think I don’t want to be with him because I do but I just can’t help but to feel this way. I hope things get better for you and you can find a way to get past that anxiety and be with your partner. I think it’s hard to find good relationships now. I’m hoping I do the same..
Related posts
- Date posted
- 25w
I am in a relatively new relationship (around 2 months) and it has been completely virtual due to varying circumstances. I have never been in a serious relationship before and my past “exes” have never been this serious or brought up any of these feelings. About a month in I started having tons of symptoms and thoughts I figured were due to an SSRI change (i eventually went back to my original med/dose) however, it has remained quite bad since. Thoughts include: -I don’t actually like my partner, I just like the feeling of being wanted -I have crushes on other people, including my partners friends who I barely know -I don’t feel butterflies so I must be losing feelings for him -I think he’s ugly/im just not attracted to him -I’m secretly a lesbian and I’m wasting his time by being with him -a general feeling of dread, wrongness, or needing out of the relationship -not being able to believe him when he reassures me about everything -all of the above is just my genuine feelings and I’m using ocd as an excuse These are obviously crazy things to think, however one of my biggest compulsions is confession and self sabotage so I have told my partner all of these things in detail. He’s really great and patient about all of it but I can tell it weighs on him. Hes even recently expressed feeling like it’s his fault and that he wonders if it wouldn’t be this bad if I was with someone else. I feel so miserable but i feel like I’d be miserable in any relationship but im scared that’s not the truth and my ocd isn’t real. When it’s good i feel the most romantic love for him I’ve ever felt toward anyone ever. He’s an incredible person but I just feel so alone and lost on what to do. I’ve literally tried to break up with him like five times and each time we’ve ended up wanting to stay together. I’m really really scared I’ll never get better or this is simply the wrong relationship for me.
- Date posted
- 19w
I’m struggling with something I’m afraid to even admit out loud. I’ve been in a long-term relationship with someone I love deeply. He’s kind, safe, and emotionally close to me — and we’ve built a life together. But I keep obsessing over the fact that I don’t feel much sexual attraction anymore. Or maybe… I never truly did? At the beginning, I felt butterflies, excitement, connection — and I assumed that meant I was also attracted to him physically. But now, after reading so much and reflecting more deeply, I’m starting to wonder if I ever truly felt sexual desire in the way I was “supposed to.” Maybe my feelings were more about emotional longing, comfort, and romantic closeness — but not sexual chemistry. And now I don’t know what that means. OCD makes it so much worse. It constantly tells me: – “If you really loved him, you’d want him.” – “You’re leading him on.” – “What if you’re lying to yourself?” – “If you try to fix this and fail, you’ll have to leave.” I feel stuck between wanting to fight for this relationship — and being terrified that trying will just prove it’s hopeless. Has anyone experienced something like this? Can OCD really make you question something so deeply personal? And how do you move forward when even trying feels terrifying? Any thoughts or support would mean the world right now.
- Date posted
- 16w
I’m really anxious because I know my ocd is really bad right now so I shouldn’t try to figure it out cause my thinking is a mess but I’ve been having feelings of like I’m not sure if I love him anymore or worrying that I haven’t felt a lot like numb (a lot because ocd has been getting worse and worse) and thinking of like how I’ve been focusing on the negatives and only been looking at him through that lens and analyzing and also feeling like I don’t want this anymore. Basically just like negative thinking in feeling like I’m really scared it’s that it’s I don’t love him cause I don’t want it to be over and the thought of having someone replace him makes me ill. But like it feels like I’m not seeing him how I used to and it makes me upset. Today I was near someone I was like oh this person is cute and then I was thinking that the possibility of meeting someone new sounds exciting and now I’m freaking out because this in combination with feeling like maybe I don’t love him anymore is bad. Also my thoughts keep changing. and like sometimes it feels like I don’t care at all and this has happened but like worst it’s ever been and then other times I’m like I do care I do still feel. I’m just really anxious has anyone else felt this before and it was still ocd? 😭😭
Be a part of the largest OCD Community
Share your thoughts so the Community can respond