So I feel like I always have a hard time making any decisions or staying fully committed with something. I’ve been going to school what feels like an eternity and I feel like I’m not happy and want to change my major.. but idk if it’s really what I want. I’m always second guessing myself. Also I’ve been with my bf for about 2 years and I do love him but find myself second guessing our relationship..?? Is this just me or does this somehow have anything to do with my ocd?? I overthink everything...

I’ve been with my boyfriend for almost a year and a half. I currently still live with my parents and him with his. He moved a few states away a year ago and only stayed here because he says he fell in love with me. Now he wants to move back and he’s trying to convince me to with him. It just feels like a huge step. And I’m not sure I’m ready which I’m trying to tell him but he is not happy here. We are both in our late 20’s and both want to be away though. Idk sometimes I feel like he isn’t what I want. But then idk if that’s part of OCD. Maybe a mix of that along with generalized anxiety over constantly believing I make the wrong decisions about everything. I feel like we’re going to eventually break up because we’re not similar enough but know he would never and it would end up being me doing it so I should just do it now, but then never do because I don’t want to be without him. Idk maybe it’s because he’s my only friend? Maybe I’m way overthinking like I do everything. It’s hard because I don have any real friends. I’m starting to make work friends but that would end if I moved away. Which makes me sad because I’m feeling less utterly alone. But then I think this may be the perfect time in my life to do this because I don’t have friends and haven’t in years and shouldn’t avoid moving because of the friends I’m just starting to make, because I could make friends somewhere else too. And this is my chance to start over I’ve always just wanted to start fresh. Thoughts?

I’ve had doubts my whole relationship with my boyfriend. Things like “you don’t find him attractive. You don’t think he’s funny. You’re lesbian because you don’t love him. You don’t love him at all. You think he’s annoying. You think his face looks weird. You want to be with other guys. He doesn’t make you happy.” But I always cry and get upset at the thought of losing him. Is that ocd, or something wrong with the relationship. It’s so hard to tell if this is Rocd or if this is one of those, “you never loved nor were interested in him in the first place.” Type things. I want to be interested and in love with him so bad, but I feel like all these thoughts get in the way. :( I don’t get that crazy “you love him so much,” feeing everyone talks about. Like yeah I know I feel for him and love him for who he is, but I don’t feel crazy deep in love :(

I feel horrible. I feel like I treat my boyfriend as if I don't care for him or our relationship, like its something new and foreign as if we haven't been together for 3+ years. I walk past a guy and pick up on his looks then feel like a cheater. And when I consider my own boyfriend, I try to rationalize my thoughts, reassure myself of my feelings for my boyfriend, all the while feeling completely and utterly disconnected not only from him and our relationship but from myself. I feel like the voice and thoughts and feelings I have a lot of times aren't me. I feel like I'm trying to fit in wherever I go. I feel stuck, tired, and drained. I'm depressed and then I'm anxious, always low with a few highs and not the good kind. My head hurts, my body hurts, everything hurts, but especially the guilty I carry for feeling like I'm wasting my own time and life and my partners time. I feel like I'm convincing myself that I like him, that I care for him, but somehow my mind always tells me he's my forever and I want him to be but it doesn't FEEL like that inside me and it's so hard dealing with 2 opposing thoughts of that level. I am so lost. I don't know what to do. Every day, I feel the much more like I'm out of touch from our relationship. It's been years and I'm still like this, and it makes me wonder whether this ocd shit is all in my head and really I'm just running from something I don't want to accept. But I don't want it to be like that, but it just doesn't make any sense. Even saying that the ocd is making me second guess myself feels like a lie. I am so fucking lost.