- Date posted
- 5y
- Date posted
- 5y
I hear you. I’ve been with my girlfriend for over a year and I’m constantly overthinking the relationship. Idk if it’s my OCD or not, but it seems to happen in every relationship I get in. During the relationship I constantly tell myself it’s not going anywhere so what’s the point? I think I’m scared of commitment. I’m also a perfectionist, so whenever she doesn’t act the way I think she will in my head, I get annoyed for some reason. It’s like I expect her to read my mind. Definitely a cognitive distortion. Wish I had all the answers.
- Date posted
- 5y
I completely feel the same way! This is the third serious relationship I’ve been in And every past relationship I have been the one to end it because I feel exactly everything you described... it sucks because I do want to get married and have kids but I’m scared of commitment as well. It’s like I’ll find the smallest things he does and just think well maybe he’s just not the one for me. But deep down I know he’s great and I don’t want to lose him. I just don’t want to keep making this a viscous cycle where I end up alone ?
- Date posted
- 5y
I definitely understand. It’s weird because my girlfriend now is awesome and I know she’d do anything for me, but I still just always look for reasons to be less interested. I also haven’t been broken up with before. It’s weird because afterwards I’ll tell myself I was too hard on them for little things, but I won’t really be that sad because I know I can live fine without them. It’s almost as if I just want someone around that I know really wants me.
- Date posted
- 5y
@Sam10 Yeah I understand. I honestly think it’s me and not them. Nobody’s perfect especially me lol so I have to remember not to have such high expectations. I hope things get better for you and your girl.
- Date posted
- 5y
Im like pushing through my anxiety to be with this girl because she’s amazing but now that marriage is a question i suddenly have no idea if i even want to be in it. All the little things are just being expanded into reasons why i shouldnt be with her
- Date posted
- 5y
Yes I feel it. My bf wants to move in together and it scares me so much. I don’t want him to think I don’t want to be with him because I do but I just can’t help but to feel this way. I hope things get better for you and you can find a way to get past that anxiety and be with your partner. I think it’s hard to find good relationships now. I’m hoping I do the same..
Related posts
- Date posted
- 23w
I’m struggling with something I’m afraid to even admit out loud. I’ve been in a long-term relationship with someone I love deeply. He’s kind, safe, and emotionally close to me — and we’ve built a life together. But I keep obsessing over the fact that I don’t feel much sexual attraction anymore. Or maybe… I never truly did? At the beginning, I felt butterflies, excitement, connection — and I assumed that meant I was also attracted to him physically. But now, after reading so much and reflecting more deeply, I’m starting to wonder if I ever truly felt sexual desire in the way I was “supposed to.” Maybe my feelings were more about emotional longing, comfort, and romantic closeness — but not sexual chemistry. And now I don’t know what that means. OCD makes it so much worse. It constantly tells me: – “If you really loved him, you’d want him.” – “You’re leading him on.” – “What if you’re lying to yourself?” – “If you try to fix this and fail, you’ll have to leave.” I feel stuck between wanting to fight for this relationship — and being terrified that trying will just prove it’s hopeless. Has anyone experienced something like this? Can OCD really make you question something so deeply personal? And how do you move forward when even trying feels terrifying? Any thoughts or support would mean the world right now.
- Date posted
- 20w
I’m really anxious because I know my ocd is really bad right now so I shouldn’t try to figure it out cause my thinking is a mess but I’ve been having feelings of like I’m not sure if I love him anymore or worrying that I haven’t felt a lot like numb (a lot because ocd has been getting worse and worse) and thinking of like how I’ve been focusing on the negatives and only been looking at him through that lens and analyzing and also feeling like I don’t want this anymore. Basically just like negative thinking in feeling like I’m really scared it’s that it’s I don’t love him cause I don’t want it to be over and the thought of having someone replace him makes me ill. But like it feels like I’m not seeing him how I used to and it makes me upset. Today I was near someone I was like oh this person is cute and then I was thinking that the possibility of meeting someone new sounds exciting and now I’m freaking out because this in combination with feeling like maybe I don’t love him anymore is bad. Also my thoughts keep changing. and like sometimes it feels like I don’t care at all and this has happened but like worst it’s ever been and then other times I’m like I do care I do still feel. I’m just really anxious has anyone else felt this before and it was still ocd? 😭😭
- Date posted
- 19w
Do you ever feel like you wonder if your ocd would be less if you were with someone else? Or would it be better if you were with someone else? I’m really upset because I used to be able to enjoy myself even with the anxiety and now it’s like i am just analyzing and I don’t have feelings and I’m irritated because there’s things that frustrate me about him that I don’t like and my brain says if I was with someone else I would be able to deal with those things better and that we just aren’t right for each other. And the thoughts that used to make me anxious about breaking up don’t like it’s really me that feels it. I know no relationship is perfect but it’s like my brain keeps saying with someone else I wouldn’t feel like this or I would but I’d be able to handle it better. It feels like I have to just start fresh with someone new cause the ocd got too into this to the point where I don’t feel or even know what’s real. It feels like fear and anxiety and just being so into this has just made me feel not into this anymore but idk if I’m thinking right. It’s also just warped the way I see him like I only see the negatives and my brain keeps saying you don’t feel this cause it’s wrong. And it’s depressing bc of how happy and safe I used to feel. I’m supposed to see him soon and it’s like I want to but also don’t because I feel like things have changed unless that’s just something I made in my head and cause I don’t feel the feelings I used to. But then I think I will just be this way with someone else but then my brain says otherwise and it’s so confusing. People keep telling me not to make decisions because I’m fogged but it feels like I’m not. Like my brain is manipulating me. And also like all the things I used to like I’ve somehow turned into like distaste which is so upsetting. I would like to think this is just ocd taking control and confusing me and distorting my perspective but I’m scared it’s not and that my feelings are gone. Has anyone experienced this but it was still ocd?
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