- Username
- ccg
- Date posted
- 4y ago
I hear you. I’ve been with my girlfriend for over a year and I’m constantly overthinking the relationship. Idk if it’s my OCD or not, but it seems to happen in every relationship I get in. During the relationship I constantly tell myself it’s not going anywhere so what’s the point? I think I’m scared of commitment. I’m also a perfectionist, so whenever she doesn’t act the way I think she will in my head, I get annoyed for some reason. It’s like I expect her to read my mind. Definitely a cognitive distortion. Wish I had all the answers.
I completely feel the same way! This is the third serious relationship I’ve been in And every past relationship I have been the one to end it because I feel exactly everything you described... it sucks because I do want to get married and have kids but I’m scared of commitment as well. It’s like I’ll find the smallest things he does and just think well maybe he’s just not the one for me. But deep down I know he’s great and I don’t want to lose him. I just don’t want to keep making this a viscous cycle where I end up alone ?
I definitely understand. It’s weird because my girlfriend now is awesome and I know she’d do anything for me, but I still just always look for reasons to be less interested. I also haven’t been broken up with before. It’s weird because afterwards I’ll tell myself I was too hard on them for little things, but I won’t really be that sad because I know I can live fine without them. It’s almost as if I just want someone around that I know really wants me.
@Sam10 Yeah I understand. I honestly think it’s me and not them. Nobody’s perfect especially me lol so I have to remember not to have such high expectations. I hope things get better for you and your girl.
Im like pushing through my anxiety to be with this girl because she’s amazing but now that marriage is a question i suddenly have no idea if i even want to be in it. All the little things are just being expanded into reasons why i shouldnt be with her
Yes I feel it. My bf wants to move in together and it scares me so much. I don’t want him to think I don’t want to be with him because I do but I just can’t help but to feel this way. I hope things get better for you and you can find a way to get past that anxiety and be with your partner. I think it’s hard to find good relationships now. I’m hoping I do the same..
I’ve been with my boyfriend for almost a year and a half. I currently still live with my parents and him with his. He moved a few states away a year ago and only stayed here because he says he fell in love with me. Now he wants to move back and he’s trying to convince me to with him. It just feels like a huge step. And I’m not sure I’m ready which I’m trying to tell him but he is not happy here. We are both in our late 20’s and both want to be away though. Idk sometimes I feel like he isn’t what I want. But then idk if that’s part of OCD. Maybe a mix of that along with generalized anxiety over constantly believing I make the wrong decisions about everything. I feel like we’re going to eventually break up because we’re not similar enough but know he would never and it would end up being me doing it so I should just do it now, but then never do because I don’t want to be without him. Idk maybe it’s because he’s my only friend? Maybe I’m way overthinking like I do everything. It’s hard because I don have any real friends. I’m starting to make work friends but that would end if I moved away. Which makes me sad because I’m feeling less utterly alone. But then I think this may be the perfect time in my life to do this because I don’t have friends and haven’t in years and shouldn’t avoid moving because of the friends I’m just starting to make, because I could make friends somewhere else too. And this is my chance to start over I’ve always just wanted to start fresh. Thoughts?
I’ve had doubts my whole relationship with my boyfriend. Things like “you don’t find him attractive. You don’t think he’s funny. You’re lesbian because you don’t love him. You don’t love him at all. You think he’s annoying. You think his face looks weird. You want to be with other guys. He doesn’t make you happy.” But I always cry and get upset at the thought of losing him. Is that ocd, or something wrong with the relationship. It’s so hard to tell if this is Rocd or if this is one of those, “you never loved nor were interested in him in the first place.” Type things. I want to be interested and in love with him so bad, but I feel like all these thoughts get in the way. :( I don’t get that crazy “you love him so much,” feeing everyone talks about. Like yeah I know I feel for him and love him for who he is, but I don’t feel crazy deep in love :(
I feel horrible. I feel like I treat my boyfriend as if I don't care for him or our relationship, like its something new and foreign as if we haven't been together for 3+ years. I walk past a guy and pick up on his looks then feel like a cheater. And when I consider my own boyfriend, I try to rationalize my thoughts, reassure myself of my feelings for my boyfriend, all the while feeling completely and utterly disconnected not only from him and our relationship but from myself. I feel like the voice and thoughts and feelings I have a lot of times aren't me. I feel like I'm trying to fit in wherever I go. I feel stuck, tired, and drained. I'm depressed and then I'm anxious, always low with a few highs and not the good kind. My head hurts, my body hurts, everything hurts, but especially the guilty I carry for feeling like I'm wasting my own time and life and my partners time. I feel like I'm convincing myself that I like him, that I care for him, but somehow my mind always tells me he's my forever and I want him to be but it doesn't FEEL like that inside me and it's so hard dealing with 2 opposing thoughts of that level. I am so lost. I don't know what to do. Every day, I feel the much more like I'm out of touch from our relationship. It's been years and I'm still like this, and it makes me wonder whether this ocd shit is all in my head and really I'm just running from something I don't want to accept. But I don't want it to be like that, but it just doesn't make any sense. Even saying that the ocd is making me second guess myself feels like a lie. I am so fucking lost.
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