- Date posted
- 5y ago
- Date posted
- 5y ago
You cannot/will not figure out your sexuality based on how you react to saying “I am straight” or “I am not straight.” That’s a testing compulsion and it has nothing to do with sexual orientation. Stop testing your physical and emotional reactions to these statements. They will never “prove” your sexual orientation either way. When you’re feeling unsure and anxious, double down in uncertainty: “maybe I’m straight. Or maybe I’m not. I don’t know and I don’t need to know.” Let the anxiety and intrusive thoughts that pop up just be there and leave on their own.
- Date posted
- 5y ago
Cheers for the advice much appreciated
- Date posted
- 5y ago
Look at it this way, if you said "I am a pony." 10 times without anxiety would it make you a pony? It wouldn't. Being a pony makes you a pony. Remember this when you're worried that you're not worried. These are just words. They don't change anything. If they did,lies wouldn't exist
- Date posted
- 5y ago
I am really confused because there is evidence going against me being not straight but it doesn’t work and this thoughts hits me differently as if it were true and as if I’m going through a sexuality crisis and that fucks me up. Because that makes me feel as if it’s not ocd. Also when I say it’s not true it doesn’t feel right and it’s stupid because the thought came out of knowhere and if the thought keeps saying I’m not straight, then why isn’t it telling me the sexuality I am. It’s mad confusing and mad scary for me. I have also tried today to expose myself but it just feels as if it is me.
- Date posted
- 5y ago
The more you try to “figure this out” and search for evidence, the more false evidence your OCD will give you. How do I know it’s false/OCD? Because you’re obsessing about it and doing mental compulsions to prove/disprove it. Intrusions are not just thoughts. They are also feelings, urges, images, etc. When you test yourself by saying this, your OCD sends you an intrusion it knows will upset you (ie either making it “feel right” in the case of saying you’re not straight or “feel wrong” in the case of saying you are.) Again: you will not figure out your sexuality based on how you react to these sentences or through any other testing compulsions. You aren’t going to get past this OCD theme by finally being able to say “I’m straight” and having it feel right. You’re going to get past this by loosening the grip of this obsession through ERP until it no longer matters. You said you tried to expose yourself today, but I can tell you right now that you’re doing a bunch of mental compulsions so it’s not going to work. ERP means exposure and response prevention. Without response prevention, ie not doing compulsions, you’re not actually committing to the therapy and you won’t see results. Stop ruminating. Stop trying to figure this out. Accept uncertainty. Maybe you’re straight, but maybe you’re not. You don’t know and you don’t need to know.
- Date posted
- 5y ago
@pure093 I try to answer questions when I can here but trying to keep it in the app.
- Date posted
- 5y ago
@pureolife I can try to answer questions if you have them though. And if you post or here others may answer too.
- Date posted
- 5y ago
The main thing that I worry about is that it doesn’t feel like ocd because I have had ocd for a 1 year and I kinda know what o d is what it’s not and I feel like this is true which is very scary.
- Date posted
- 5y ago
Doubting whether your fears are actually OCD or “real” is incredibly common. And if you didn’t have that fear/doubt, this obsession couldn’t hold on this strongly. Once I finally got diagnosed with OCD and started learning about it, aspects of my life I never thought of as related to OCD suddenly started making a lot more sense. This theme may “feel” different to you, but from an outsiders perspective, your behavior is typical of OCD.
- Date posted
- 5y ago
@pureolife Do you feel when you accept a thought it’s like accepting that it’s true or real
- Date posted
- 5y ago
@alex.123 I do feel this way but I'm at a point where I let my body do what it wants now. There's no use resisting to me
- Date posted
- 5y ago
@Mosharrr Ye I did this because I was trying erp on my own which I don not recommend because I had a wierd and confusing time now and I’ve taken like 100 steps back and I’m fighting thoughts that I haven’t even heard before and ocd is telling me it’s true.
- Date posted
- 5y ago
@alex.123 It can feel like that at first, when you’re not used to it. When I first started OCD treatment, it felt like that sometimes. But the more I recovered, the less it did. you don’t have to accept that the thoughts are true or false. You just have to accept that you’re having them and that they may be true or may be false. You’re accepting their existence and your uncertainty only. This does nothing to validate/invalidate their truth.
Related posts
- Date posted
- 18w ago
Like I'm not even scared I feel numb and ever since that night I've completely went down hill Idk what to do the feeling i felt this time genuily felt like i liked it and i didnt even have anxiety at that moment and now I'm panicking I really hope this is still OCD like I'm sorry if I'm still asking for reassurance but im really worried like it felt good in that moment I don't understand what's going on like I hope it was a false feeling and not something real.....like this has happened before but Idk 😭😭😭😭 I really don't know what to I don't want to turn into a p word I don't this I've been sleeping all day I still do compulsions a little to get rid of the thoughts but I've been getting sexual thoughts too and I don't want them but I feel like I do I don't understand I though I was getting better but I guess every time I get better everything gets worse..
- Date posted
- 11w ago
Sorry long post. Anyone feel like now they’re just in extreme denial. Like when I was little I noticed guys more than girls in movies and was more drawn to them. I remember changing my mindset to switch that. 98%of my life has been straight until recently. I felt drawn to some guys but never thought of it sexually. Always had girl crushes dreams and porn. Now I watch porn and I feel like straight takes longer and then I go and watch gay porn and feel nothing until I tell myself it’s two attractive dudes and love is love and imagine physical sensations and then it hits like suddenly. Like I have to convince myself it’s alright. Then when I try again I can do all that but feel nothing and then straight porn works. Idk if it’s just getting a fix or the first time works with anything or what but it’s confusing. On top of that I’ve felt girl relationships including my wife maybe miss something and a guy maybe matches that feeling that but then I feel like I’d be missing something without a girl or my wife. Idk I’ve had some rough times in life with male figures in my life but idk. I feel like I have to convince myself more and more that I’m straight even more than the first time I dealt with this. Can someone relate? Please
- Date posted
- 11w ago
Idk if this post is even worth it but it seemed like a normal day for me, called off work due to the weather so I get to just stay home and play games all day. Easy day besides dealing with the constant and unbearable battle with my intrusive thoughts/feelings. Took a shower and I just had constant thoughts, (heart palpitations are pretty constant) ended up breaking down and bawling my eyes out. I was diagnosed with HOCD and ROCD about 2 months ago and since it's just gotten worse. It feels as real as it can get and after talking to my girlfriend about the anxiety attack, it feels even more real. I have no desire or enjoyment from what comes from my brain, and at this point I'm on my knees begging the big man upstairs for my old life back, how do I go from being obsessed with women (sexually and emotionally) to pretty much doing a 180 overnight (with the obvious anxiety and worry behind it. No real desire obviously). I'm just at a loss, I've done a little ERP and it seemed to help with the brain fog but besides that, everything that it does to someone, I have. And again there's the doubt I even have OCD and I'm in straight denial. It just sucks.
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