- Date posted
- 4y ago
- Date posted
- 4y ago
You cannot/will not figure out your sexuality based on how you react to saying “I am straight” or “I am not straight.” That’s a testing compulsion and it has nothing to do with sexual orientation. Stop testing your physical and emotional reactions to these statements. They will never “prove” your sexual orientation either way. When you’re feeling unsure and anxious, double down in uncertainty: “maybe I’m straight. Or maybe I’m not. I don’t know and I don’t need to know.” Let the anxiety and intrusive thoughts that pop up just be there and leave on their own.
- Date posted
- 4y ago
Cheers for the advice much appreciated
- Date posted
- 4y ago
Look at it this way, if you said "I am a pony." 10 times without anxiety would it make you a pony? It wouldn't. Being a pony makes you a pony. Remember this when you're worried that you're not worried. These are just words. They don't change anything. If they did,lies wouldn't exist
- Date posted
- 4y ago
I am really confused because there is evidence going against me being not straight but it doesn’t work and this thoughts hits me differently as if it were true and as if I’m going through a sexuality crisis and that fucks me up. Because that makes me feel as if it’s not ocd. Also when I say it’s not true it doesn’t feel right and it’s stupid because the thought came out of knowhere and if the thought keeps saying I’m not straight, then why isn’t it telling me the sexuality I am. It’s mad confusing and mad scary for me. I have also tried today to expose myself but it just feels as if it is me.
- Date posted
- 4y ago
The more you try to “figure this out” and search for evidence, the more false evidence your OCD will give you. How do I know it’s false/OCD? Because you’re obsessing about it and doing mental compulsions to prove/disprove it. Intrusions are not just thoughts. They are also feelings, urges, images, etc. When you test yourself by saying this, your OCD sends you an intrusion it knows will upset you (ie either making it “feel right” in the case of saying you’re not straight or “feel wrong” in the case of saying you are.) Again: you will not figure out your sexuality based on how you react to these sentences or through any other testing compulsions. You aren’t going to get past this OCD theme by finally being able to say “I’m straight” and having it feel right. You’re going to get past this by loosening the grip of this obsession through ERP until it no longer matters. You said you tried to expose yourself today, but I can tell you right now that you’re doing a bunch of mental compulsions so it’s not going to work. ERP means exposure and response prevention. Without response prevention, ie not doing compulsions, you’re not actually committing to the therapy and you won’t see results. Stop ruminating. Stop trying to figure this out. Accept uncertainty. Maybe you’re straight, but maybe you’re not. You don’t know and you don’t need to know.
- Date posted
- 4y ago
@pure093 I try to answer questions when I can here but trying to keep it in the app.
- Date posted
- 4y ago
@pureolife I can try to answer questions if you have them though. And if you post or here others may answer too.
- Date posted
- 4y ago
The main thing that I worry about is that it doesn’t feel like ocd because I have had ocd for a 1 year and I kinda know what o d is what it’s not and I feel like this is true which is very scary.
- Date posted
- 4y ago
Doubting whether your fears are actually OCD or “real” is incredibly common. And if you didn’t have that fear/doubt, this obsession couldn’t hold on this strongly. Once I finally got diagnosed with OCD and started learning about it, aspects of my life I never thought of as related to OCD suddenly started making a lot more sense. This theme may “feel” different to you, but from an outsiders perspective, your behavior is typical of OCD.
- Date posted
- 4y ago
@pureolife Do you feel when you accept a thought it’s like accepting that it’s true or real
- Date posted
- 4y ago
@alex.123 I do feel this way but I'm at a point where I let my body do what it wants now. There's no use resisting to me
- Date posted
- 4y ago
@Mosharrr Ye I did this because I was trying erp on my own which I don not recommend because I had a wierd and confusing time now and I’ve taken like 100 steps back and I’m fighting thoughts that I haven’t even heard before and ocd is telling me it’s true.
- Date posted
- 4y ago
@alex.123 It can feel like that at first, when you’re not used to it. When I first started OCD treatment, it felt like that sometimes. But the more I recovered, the less it did. you don’t have to accept that the thoughts are true or false. You just have to accept that you’re having them and that they may be true or may be false. You’re accepting their existence and your uncertainty only. This does nothing to validate/invalidate their truth.
Related posts
- Date posted
- 15w ago
Lately my OCD has been very horrible, it’s been more convincing than ever to the point where I’m genuinely convinced that I like this stuff, when I get a thought, I’ll hear my intrusive thoughts go “oooh, I like that, I’d do that.” and I just don’t freak out nor feel bad, I just feel like I like it even more, and feel like I would do/act on it and like it, and the feeling is strong and it lingers forever? It genuinely feels like I do, and I’m just lying now, i can’t tell if I make these thoughts worse or anything All I remember mostly just being like confused sometimes when these thoughts happen, but since I’m getting strong emotions that I like it, my brain says that means I did and I’m worried about that being true because I don’t understand nor know It’s like I am resisting to like this stuff now, it’s even tougher now than it was before
- User type
- OCD Conqueror
- Date posted
- 14w ago
I’ve had so many moments of clarity with my OCD that I love my boyfriend and I’m beyond willing to go through this to be better and be with him. in the back of mind I’ve in a way known I was at least somewhat sexually attracted to women (I’m a woman) since the start of the ocd it was always like “okay. Fine, but I don’t want to date a girl” I only just realized this after the ocd started, I never really argued with this. my ocd has always revolved around if I’m romantically interested in women and not men. I’ve done so many compulsions through this year and a half and 9 times out of 10 have come to the conclusion that I don’t want to be with a woman romantically. I always end up feeling like I know I love my boyfriend. But the doubts don’t stop about whether I want to spend my life with a woman instead, my heart literally breaks to think of not being with my bf and imagining him with someone else. I don’t want to be with a woman I know deep down somewhere underneath the anxiety that that’s not what I want. It doesn’t feel natural for me, unfulfilling. I want to tell my boyfriend about the possible sexual attraction to women (ik it’s still ocd related) but I’m scared that once I tell him, I’ll realize that I actually do want to be with women and not with him. Ugh I’ve spent hours today ruminating about this after being solid in my commitment with him for a little while, I’m stuck in this loop and idk how to get out right now
- Date posted
- 10w ago
Sorry long post. Anyone feel like now they’re just in extreme denial. Like when I was little I noticed guys more than girls in movies and was more drawn to them. I remember changing my mindset to switch that. 98%of my life has been straight until recently. I felt drawn to some guys but never thought of it sexually. Always had girl crushes dreams and porn. Now I watch porn and I feel like straight takes longer and then I go and watch gay porn and feel nothing until I tell myself it’s two attractive dudes and love is love and imagine physical sensations and then it hits like suddenly. Like I have to convince myself it’s alright. Then when I try again I can do all that but feel nothing and then straight porn works. Idk if it’s just getting a fix or the first time works with anything or what but it’s confusing. On top of that I’ve felt girl relationships including my wife maybe miss something and a guy maybe matches that feeling that but then I feel like I’d be missing something without a girl or my wife. Idk I’ve had some rough times in life with male figures in my life but idk. I feel like I have to convince myself more and more that I’m straight even more than the first time I dealt with this. Can someone relate? Please
Be a part of the largest OCD Community
Share your thoughts so the Community can respond