It feels like I will never get better and be like this forever. It’s so hard to shake this feeling. I have never been so depressed and scared. I have POCD and have seen many therapist about it and have been told it’s a chemical imbalance or I need to start dating before I loose control also been told it’s my inner child that is hurting and needs to heal. All of these explanations have made me worse and have gotten to this point where I am feeling suicidal consistently comparing myself to others thinking they have such better lives and have never experienced this I feel so alone. I am on medication that worked for awhile the thoughts were there but not so intense. I feel the thoughts still effected my day to day relationships as I avoided relationships due to fear and the what ifs I was attracted to children. This just makes life not worth living. I see my siblings and friends in happy relationships and I’m stuck in this mind set. I started with an OCD specialist two weeks ago and for the first time someone understands what I’m really going through. It just feels like it’s too late.

Never give up my friend You deserve an amazing life for everything you've been through

Thanks! this group has been my best support so far

Never it's too late to go and live ,because living with OCD and not knowing it's ocd is a freaking nightmare,it's not a life ,so come on and trust in your therapist

I’m soo glad to hear that you are finally with an OCD specialist!!! It sounds like those previous counselors just made things so much worse :( but you are FINALLY in the right spot and that’s so exciting. I had very similar feelings to you when I started OCD therapy. I thought it would work for everyone else, but that it could never work for me. I’m really excited for you because I know this will help you! ps I also have POCD and I can’t imagine how hard it would be for me to have counselors treat me the way your previous ones treated you ? I’m so sorry you went through that.

It’s so hard because you finally feel brave enough to tell someone what’s been bothering you and that’s the response you get that it’s something fundamentally wrong with who you are how you’ve lived your live or how what happened to you as a child. And of course I started believing it and now I put down every aspect of my life and pick at where this could be coming from. I just feel I need so much more support and once a week isn’t going to be enough with the OCD therapist.

Can I private message you or is that not aloud on here?

*maybe yours could offer that

Yeah I think my OCD is telling me don’t trust this therapist either because I’ve been down so many unhelpful roads with the other ones. I just want some sort of life back!