Hiya, I'm new here. I really need help with my OCD, it's gotten extremely out of control since Covid started. One of my biggest fears is pregnancy, which is absolutely wild because I'm a virgin. I've tried ignoring it on my own, but it causes me extreme distress and I start crying. It gives me physical pain in my stomach until I give into the compulsions. Every time I ignore it it feels like giving into my fate of the nonexistent baby. It's stupid and I'm sick of it. It controls most of the things I do, like I can't have anything to do with the number 9 because of it (pregnancy being 9 months) 5 too, for some reason I'm not really sure of. I've given a lot of things in my life a number. My number is 4 so I can't stand seeing numbers like 45, 49, or 54. The compulsions (if you don't do or do _______ you'll be pregnant) happens almost every time I do ANYTHING. I don't know how to ignore it without causing a mental break down every single time. I need help, please.

Have you ever watched the show “Jane the Virgin” (it’s on Netflix)? It’s my all time favorite show. Pretty sure the main character has OCD.. I find her super relatable. It’s a feel good show.

Welcome ? I hope you find support here. Have you heard about exposure and response prevention?

You must lean into these "bad" numbers and learn to tolerate the anxiety (inhibitory learning). You can do it! It's the OCD that is telling you otherwise. Go out and buy a sports jersey or a shirt with one of your bad numbers and wear it. You might do it for less than an hour the first time, but gradually increase the time and anxiety. You will eventually either learn to be more comfortable with the anxiety (inhibitory learning) or become bored and habituate to the fear. Tried to get with an OCD specialist to help guide you through this approach. Do you really believe that if you don't do ssomething a certain number of times that you will become pregnant or do you believe that it is irrational but feel compelled to do the compulsions anyway?

If ocd is trying to convince you of this, the goal is to accept that it could possibly be true or it could possibly be false. This is very hard to do don’t get me wrong, I get it. Try to say “thanks ocd, maybe it’s true maybe it’s not. Maybe this means something, maybe not”. Also I recommend practicing exposure response prevention (erp) which involves exposing yourself to your fears. This is best done with a therapist though. It involves exposing yourself to your fear. This can be done by making a recording of yourself saying the numbers that trigger your fear and listening to it every day. You could also write a script and read it off each day. The idea is to expose yourself to what makes you afraid and resist doing compulsions (checking). This will teach your mind to resist compulsions and accept uncertainty. Anyway good luck! I hope you feel alright ❤️