Hey I'm feeling pretty hopeless right now. Before I get to the main point I'm gonna give some background info: I'm going into my third year of University and it took years of constant denial to get treatment . I originally came in for my skin picking but after multiple appointments I was told I have OCD. I never thought I perfectly fit into having it because I was never organized nor am I a "germaphobe". I later learned everything made sens From being afraid to interact with little children (afraid I would assault them just from staring too long), all the way to staying up all night convinced someone would kill me if I didn't hide all the knives in the house. It took me just one month ago to sleep in my bed alone (after I stopped my rituals with my stuffed animals as a kid I was convinced they will harm me when I least expect it, and sleep beside my mother). It even explained why I had somatic rituals when I was a child (constantly balancing the right and left side of my body with repetitive touching until it felt right). Finally, after switching from cipralex (did not help) to Zoloft (currently on 150mg) I feel as thought my life is coming back. The reason I'm feeling distressed is that my main psychiatrist referred me to a CBT waitlist in a hospital. Well I just had a virtual meeting with him today... And he basically asked if I have cleaning rituals. I said no, I told him about my previous compulsions the first time I talked to him and told him the medication has SIGNIFICANTLY reduced my anxiety and compulsions that I only do two rituals a day (~3 hours). At the end of the appointment he told me that I DON'T HAVE OCD or anxiety and suggested I go off my meds. Now I'm doubting if I have OCD to begin with, even though I fully know I do as my main psychiatrist has been so caring and making sure I recover. It really sucks because I feel pretty invalidated?? Am I overreacting or in the wrong? I don't know how to feel right now. Any input would be appreciated. Thank you

I had my second session with a therapist and they told me they don’t think I have OCD. They think that I have just intrusive thoughts. They also said they don’t do diagnosis. I also noticed they did not ask me questions about my different themes.This has made me so confused. Even though I had a terrible fear that a therapist will tell that I don’t have it, (which is the main reason why I had not gone to one) I did suspect I had it because I identify with many of the symptoms. On the website it says that they treat it but I don’t think they are like a specialist. On the first session they described OCD mainly as needing to have things symmetrical and fear of contamination. I have a feeling that they don’t know much about it. I also didn’t mentioned all the themes I think I have because I’m scared to be misunderstood. I am not sure what to do. I can’t afford seeing an OCD therapist at NOCD. Can anyone give an insight, has something similar happened to you? Thank you!

Today I had my follow up appointment with my psychologist, I left feeling worse, I loved the psychologist I spoke to last time he was very informed and understanding, this time I got an appointment with someone who he supervises and I feel like she didn't allow me to speak, she didn't allow me to explain my thoughts or feelings, she told me I have to take my medication or she won't be able to continue helping me, which I understand but im terrified of medication I can't get over it, she said if i start the prozac and it doesn't work then I'll have to get on antipsychotics which seems a bit extreme to me considering i have no psychotic symptoms matter of fact she didn't even allow me to explain my symptoms and i feel like there's so many other antidepressants that could work before getting on antipsychotics🙁 this didn't help me at all considering the episode of ocd i just got through was about me becoming psychotic, I just feel let down and misunderstood, I almost felt as if she was mad at me for the buspar not working she said "you didn't really try it you just took it for a week so if you stopped it it's like you gave up on yourself" but it kept me up 2 nights in a row and i couldnt function from the anxiety 😞

just been to therapy and i was explaining my contamination ocd and says i don’t diagnose ocd but this doesn’t seem severe enough? so now im spiralling am i just lying to myself and im just a freak. does she mean my other ocds aren’t real either? i’m just honestly so upset. need advice please im just spiralling so much i take medication for ocd and basically have every symptom and subtype of ocd:(