Hey I'm feeling pretty hopeless right now. Before I get to the main point I'm gonna give some background info: I'm going into my third year of University and it took years of constant denial to get treatment . I originally came in for my skin picking but after multiple appointments I was told I have OCD. I never thought I perfectly fit into having it because I was never organized nor am I a "germaphobe". I later learned everything made sens From being afraid to interact with little children (afraid I would assault them just from staring too long), all the way to staying up all night convinced someone would kill me if I didn't hide all the knives in the house. It took me just one month ago to sleep in my bed alone (after I stopped my rituals with my stuffed animals as a kid I was convinced they will harm me when I least expect it, and sleep beside my mother). It even explained why I had somatic rituals when I was a child (constantly balancing the right and left side of my body with repetitive touching until it felt right). Finally, after switching from cipralex (did not help) to Zoloft (currently on 150mg) I feel as thought my life is coming back. The reason I'm feeling distressed is that my main psychiatrist referred me to a CBT waitlist in a hospital. Well I just had a virtual meeting with him today... And he basically asked if I have cleaning rituals. I said no, I told him about my previous compulsions the first time I talked to him and told him the medication has SIGNIFICANTLY reduced my anxiety and compulsions that I only do two rituals a day (~3 hours). At the end of the appointment he told me that I DON'T HAVE OCD or anxiety and suggested I go off my meds. Now I'm doubting if I have OCD to begin with, even though I fully know I do as my main psychiatrist has been so caring and making sure I recover. It really sucks because I feel pretty invalidated?? Am I overreacting or in the wrong? I don't know how to feel right now. Any input would be appreciated. Thank you

Today I had my follow up appointment with my psychologist, I left feeling worse, I loved the psychologist I spoke to last time he was very informed and understanding, this time I got an appointment with someone who he supervises and I feel like she didn't allow me to speak, she didn't allow me to explain my thoughts or feelings, she told me I have to take my medication or she won't be able to continue helping me, which I understand but im terrified of medication I can't get over it, she said if i start the prozac and it doesn't work then I'll have to get on antipsychotics which seems a bit extreme to me considering i have no psychotic symptoms matter of fact she didn't even allow me to explain my symptoms and i feel like there's so many other antidepressants that could work before getting on antipsychotics🙁 this didn't help me at all considering the episode of ocd i just got through was about me becoming psychotic, I just feel let down and misunderstood, I almost felt as if she was mad at me for the buspar not working she said "you didn't really try it you just took it for a week so if you stopped it it's like you gave up on yourself" but it kept me up 2 nights in a row and i couldnt function from the anxiety 😞

My mom will sit and listen to me for quite a while, but she interrupts a lot and gets angry/upset. While I appreciate her passion, it's often stressful. Every time I come to her, if I even *mention* OCD, she gets frustrated and says, "Everyone deals with these issues, you know. It doesn't mean it's OCD." And I repeat, "I'm not saying my issues are unique — I'm saying the way I respond to them is a problem." But she just shakes her head and says, "Okay, I need to get back to my day." Full context, I'm an adult, and I live with my boyfriend, but I'm staying at my mom's for the next month. After living away from home for years, I went back to living with her during the pandemic, and I only recently left to live with him. Honestly, I think living with her for so long in my adulthood really messed with me and made me feel like a teenager all over again. I feel like my mental growth is stunted, and that's part of why my OCD is so bad lately. Not blaming, just noticing. She doesn't seem to understand how relieving the OCD diagnosis has been for me, because it explains so so so many things I've struggled with for years, and it's exciting to have more resources that can help me. But I think she sees it as me finding an excuse to *not* work on myself, which is just untrue. I'm not going to let OCD hold me back or use it as an excuse, but I'm also not going to pretend it's not a problem when I know it is — I was even diagnosed through NOCD. The whole point being to fix it, not use it as a crutch. When I have an issue, it's unbearable. Any issue, big or small, feels just the same. I feel a sinking feeling, my mind races, my heart beats out of my chest. I end up running to my support systems, crying, ruminating for days on end. Then, months later, the same exact issue can feel like nothing anymore, because it's no longer an obsession. I'm sure everyone deals with issues in a similar way, but I *know* there is something specific and debilitating going on with me. This is reassurance seeking, but in the face of being told I'm making a big deal out of nothing, can someone diagnosed with OCD tell me if they relate to the specific intensity of these feelings??

I had a very bad session with a therapist today (NOT FROM NOCD). She basically told me I can’t be helped without medication, said I am too needy and if I keep being needy, people will continue to leave me, and my past trauma from relationships is my fault. I then had a second session with my old therapist who helped process and explain that OCD is lifelong and some people manage it but others have flare ups and I think I’m having a bad flare up (a month long basically) and that I may need medication which I’m terrified to go back on. Does it get better? Will I need meds? I’m scared. I don’t want to get worse and I don’t want these thoughts to scare me.