I am always thinking about my past. I keep notes of every single detail. I keep calendar. I always try to have a clear image of everything from the last days, months, years. I am overthinking all the time and this ruins my life. If i lose control of what happened the last days my mind somehow dont function and i get really depressed. Is this ocd? Anybody else with same problem?

What you mean? Can you give some details? I m very interested hearing someone with the same problem

@stelik Mines might be a bit diffrent but since I have real event ocd I try and write down things I did that day to make sure nothing connects with my real event...it gets frustrating and probably isnt helping me with my real event ocd either cause sometimes I feel as if I messed up and writing that down hurts a lot.

@Hana240 You too! Today i feel better that i am realising my problem and exploring my ocd causes and how to cope with that. I learned to live this way many years but now i MUST fix this!

@stelik I'm happy to hear this! I wish you luck :)!

I see - and I understood perfectly ? Greece is on my and my husband’s list of places we want to travel to soon! Something my therapist said to me is that, while it helps to have a label for your OCD, it doesn’t change the treatment (which is ERP). But if I had to guess (and I am not a therapist) I would say it falls somewhere in the realm of perfectionism OCD, a need to have things a certain way. Are you able to receive treatment where you live?

@blech123 Not really ERP. Thank you VERY much for answering! I started therapy last months with a psychiatrist but he thinks i am bipolar and i am really confused. I never seeked for help before. Last days i m searching very much the internet and i am convinced it s OCD with some severe depression. Cause when i get depressed the symptoms get worse. Its like the one brings the other. The more the compulsive behaviour the more the depression and the disability

@stelik If you don’t agree with your diagnosis I would try researching to see if there’s any therapists near you who are qualified to treat OCD - they will give you an evaluation and be able to give you a for sure answer. Many talk therapists don’t know how to treat it and it can lead to a lot of time spent trying to correct a problem that isn’t there!

@blech123 Yes that's why i am so concerned and exploring and reading so much last days. I considered starting therapy here in the NOCD but you can only if you live in the USA. Now i will search for any qualified ocd therapist in Greece. So ERP helped you? I think ERP with an SSRI may be the best option for me but i m very concerned of the side effects. Tommorow i m gonna see my therapist and discuss many matters...

@stelik Yes ERP has definitely helped me. And I have been on SSRI’s (sertraline) and that helps a lot too. I had to go off due to my current pregnancy but I am planning on resuming my medication after our daughter is born! I believe a combination of both can really help, but be patient! If you’ve never been on an SSRI before be patient with yourself and be super open with your doctor about any side effects you may have. I tried two different medications before sertraline and I found that it was the best one to help keep me on a more stable level so I could successfully use ERP to control OCD symptoms, and it had the least amount of side effects. You may have to try a few before you find one that fits, and side effects can be scary if you’re not prepared for them - but if you’re open with your doctor and maybe loop in a trusted family member or friend for support it can make the transition to medication much easier!

@blech123 I m very concerned with the side effects of the SSRIS but it seems its the only option :( i can't live like this anymore. My son is getting older and i must change! I m reading about the side effects of the SSRI's last days and i m frightened. But i must battle this for sure. I tried everything last years but nothing really worked. Some months i am better and other months worst but the OCD and the compulsions are there all the time. I hope i ll fight it and wont need meds forever... But for sure it requires lot of courage and a BIG WILL cause i learned myself to live like this all these years and now i must unlearn... It wont be easy. Thank you for your advise! And wish you the best for your pregnacy and your birth!

@stelik Haven't tried SSRI's btw... neither psychotherapy... i m skeptic about giving st johns wort or 5htp a try before... i dont know.. BTW i quit alchool and drugs last 3 months and started therapy and this is a big step.. i think chronic cannabis use made the situation much worsened...

@stelik You got this! Please keep me posted on your progress ? and thank you!!

@blech123 Of course! It's a big relief talking with someone with a same problem! I m excited!

You managed to stop cold turkey and felt relief?? WoW! Really interesting! I m afraid if i stop that i ll be really in problem for some time. I must change! It's the only choice! But iverthinking became my everyday and its not that easy to quit. It has to do with all aspects of my life. I hope you stop it a soon as possible cause every year it gets worst.

@stelik Yeah it was kind of an addiction mixed in with maladaptive daydreaming, Def a compulsion though as I'd do it whenever I was anxious and was way more nervous if I didn't do it. I would even repeat lists. This thread has reminded me to not let it get bad again :)

I always look back what i typed before i send again and again and reading the whole conversation each time before i finally answer... ?

I realise many compulsions in my behaviour and recognising the cause of my ocd. But the worst part is thinking about the past and writing fown all the details and being stuck there. But i realise that i m also a perfectionist. I have my things in certain order. My thoughts in order. Everything in order. So i think all these compulsions have to do with genetics. But chronic cannabis use and lifestyle completely messed me up

Its not bad if you write just for memories. But for me its all my life. All the time trying to remember what happened the days before... :(

Mine are also mentally as well. Mentally more of the time. I write them down but the point is to have a clear image of everything in my mind. Writing didnt helped at all. It just worsened the situation a lot. It started on my mind. Then i started keeping notes to help me remember more things but it worsened the situation so much. I ruminate most of my day to the extend that it makes me depressed and anti-social. Today i had a good day. Because i spent all day at home...

I agree! When i keep my mind occupied it helps me a lot. I know what i must do but the point is i dont do it. I keep ruminating and ruining my days. Also at times it gets better and other time things are more difficult.

@stelik I didnt notice, your English is great. I'm in the UK. Honestly they saved my life,I'm on150mg sertraline it's a personal choice wether you decide to take them it's all chemical imbalance In the brain and all the tablets are doing is helping with that, just like you would take antibiotics for an infection I think all tablets have side effects and they effect people differently, they do make me feel spaced out now and then and sex drive is a bit rubbish but honestly I'd rather have the side effects than feel as bad as I was I was suicidal without them. Now I feel like I can manage it better.

@b2192 I tried many things but nothing healed me. I think its my job to quit the compulsions and requires strenght and courage. I hope an SSRI will help me totaly quit. Cause many strategies helped me cope with the symptoms and made it more manageable but then i have rough times again and again. I tried mostly meditation and psychedelics. Sometimes i was way better living a good life but the compulsions were still there. Just more easy to cope with. Day by day i understand more about my situation and thats a real help. Now i m sure it has to do with genetics and chemical imbalance in my brain. I had a predisposotion for sure and chronic cannabis use triggered it...

@b2192 I ve also been suicidal at times. As i told you some times i m way better and sometimes way worsened. But the compulsions are always there. It causes me depression and dificulty living a normal life. I cant live like that i have to change it. I m 3 months sober but i cant say it helped that much. Last 3 weeks were very rough... my son is 4 now and i cant be the father he needs. Also i m very concerned of the sexual side effects of SSRI's... Maybe i ll give st johns wort and 5-htp a try before starting an SSRI...

@b2192 Last 2 days i m researching all the time. Tommorow i have the appointment with my therapist... i have so many things to discuss... anyway thank you veeery much for your time really thank you!

@stelik Yeah like I say it's what best for you and what you feel comfortable doing. you shouldnt be afraid to take them Though, I'm not saying you are but just incase. I think when you find the right ones for you they will make a big difference, that's just my oppinion. I have a 4 year old also its it's awful because you feel so much guilt when you feel ththe way you do, I cant always give 100% and find myself ignoring him sometimes because I zone out. I know your worried about the side effects but honestly I think you should question wether your sexual life is more important than your mental health.. personally I'd rather want to be alive and happy than have sex

@stelik Anytime ! Glad to hear you've got an appointment.

@b2192 Thank you so much! Yes last days i realise i want my life back and maybe worth sacrificing the sex drive cause i m almost sure that SSRI will be a great help. My son is getting older and i m always zoned out and cant give what i want. I hope i ll manage to get over this. I created it myself! I started recalling what happened like i was testing my memory and 15 years later i cant function properly on anything

@b2192 @stelik So you aggree that OCD coexist with depression? Cause in my case when im depressed my OCD is much worsened and also when my OCD gets worsened and the more i m trapped in my compulsions and zoned out the more depressed i am

@b2192 First time in my life i speak with someone that can understand the situation. I m overexcited. Really thank you

@stelik Think we are in different time zones so sorry about the late reply. I couldnt say for sure but I do think OCD can cause depressive feelings. I had depression for years befor I started having symptoms of OCD But either way SSRI can help both depression and OCD and many other illnesses. I know it is good to be able to relate with someone else as it makes you feel more understood. I woke up this morning and the first thought I had was about my past and the mistakes I made. I hate it.

@b2192 Me too :( i woke up with feelings of guilt abou nistakes... and a teribble pain in my shoulder that started a month ago and dont go away...

@b2192 Anyway i ll put on my smile and go fight! I m going to my therapist to discuss.. Wish you a nice day!

@stelik Sorry for my bad english. I m from Greece. I m struggling many years. Last days i m thinking trying ERP therapy with SSRI but i m very concerned with side effects.. You ever tried?