We have a son with OCD. He doesn’t want to get help at this point. My husband and I are desperately trying to find a way to help him and to best relate with him.

My husband and I have 3 kids.. ages 13, 7 & 1. Our 13 year old has always been somewhat “different”, even as a toddler. He was very quiet and socially awkward. Not much has changed in that department. He isn’t into sports and has a very hard time finding anything at all that interests him. He doesn’t have many friends as he is still awkward and has a hard time fitting in. He has OCD. Specifically moral OCD. He feels like he has to confess everything to me that he feels isn’t appropriate. Curse words he hears on tv, something off-color that he or his friends said at school, anything sexual he hears on tv or in a joke. He laughingly tells me but he is reading my face to gauge my reaction on the subject every time. We tell him constantly that he doesn’t have to confess to us but, of course, those who know much about OCD know that this is harder than just simply telling them they don’t have to give into their compulsions. He is very anxious and worries about everything. He also has inattentive ADHD so he’s currently on medicine for that but can’t tell if it’s actually helping anything or not. He’s on anxiety meds too that we are trying to assess. Honestly, we have also wondered if he may be on the spectrum but high-functioning. Not sure. We are very worried about his future. He is not maturing and doesn’t care to learn how to better himself since he’s getting older. Anyway, now that I’ve given a little background, my reason for posting is that I wonder if we have created all of this. First of all.. I am a hovering mom. Im very overprotective and have a hard time letting my kids do much because I’m anxious myself. I grew up with a yelling mom and stepdad. Sadly, I have resorted to this trauma behavior much of my son’s life as well. I try my hardest not to lose my temper and yell but, I am very ashamed to say, that I haven’t been able to do a very good job with that. I have been overly critical also. Learned behavior. I will add that we are also a religious family that goes to church and follows the Bible. My husband was raised differently. His parents are very mild mannered and calm. Very sweet with my husband and his sister growing up and they aren’t “yellers”. They live out in the country and are very lax about many rules when my children go out there. Not that they let them do whatever they want but at the same time… they do seem to have a hard time saying no. My sister in law and her family live across the street from my in laws so they’re all out in the country together living their peaceful, carefree life. 🙄 They seem to think that my husband and I have brought all of this on ourselves with how we have so many rules and boundaries. They’re of the mindset that we should be exposing him to movies with curse words and letting him hear innnapropriate things and curse words more. This is how they parent their 10 year old (who is homeschooled so.. in my opinion they don’t have to worry so much about him repeating the curse words at school. We are at a Christian, private school where I also teach so it’s a bigger deal making sure my kids don’t hear those things and repeat). Anyway.. first and foremost, I’m looking for advice on how to reverse the damage from me losing my temper these last 13 years. I swear I am trying my hardest and strive everyday to be a good mom. I want so badly for them to WANT to keep a close relationship with us when they become adults living on their own. But I am so scared I’m ruining them. Does it seem to be the case? Also, do you think we have caused this OCD? Be honest with everything please. I am constantly very worried we are doing this wrong.

TW: death This is my first time posting, but I don’t know what to do. My husband who has never exhibited mental health symptoms before has been showing some OCD symptoms like ruminating (to the point where he can’t fall asleep for hours), asking for reassurance repeatedly, and overthinking in a way that it’s like he’s trying to solve problems by thinking about them a lot, but…they’re not actually real problems?? Far-fetched possibilities? We talk through his anxieties to what I think is resolution, just for him to bring it up again 30 min later. I’ve been in NOCD therapy for a month-ish now, and I’ve improved a lot—especially with the exact things my husband has begun to struggle with. I have not asked for reassurance in weeks. I feel like I infected him. I don’t know what to do because I don’t want to be his therapist or tell him what to do. He is in therapy for anxiety about starting a new job, but honestly, his therapist sucks, and he’s decided to find another one, hopefully, that is trained in ACT. I just feel guilty and helpless. Oh also to make it scarier, before I dated my husband, I was in a relationship with someone who had verrryyy severe OCD, to the point where my OCD seemed inconsequential. I was able to help him a lot, but being with him made my OCD worse because a lot of ocs were normalized. My precious parter ended up taking his own life. I’m just really on edge about this. I don’t want my husband to develop OCD and die.

Anybody else struggling with harm OCD?? Father here, mainly goes for my wife and son. It’s been very debilitating. Just started with nocd, anybody going through the same thing or has gotten better??