- Date posted
- 5y
- Date posted
- 5y
I also have thoughts about my boyfriend. We’ve been dating for 3.5 years and ever since one of our friends didn’t like him and started accusing him of “trying to act like him” I’ve had thoughts about him :( I worry that he doesn’t make up his own jokes/copies people all because of one person being jealous. My boyfriend never tried to be him, the dude just had this alpha-male complex and didn’t like that someone else could be charismatic. I tend to not have confidence in myself or my judgement and decisions and depend on others for their input and a bad false opinion sent my OCD spiraling. I’ve also been in a terrible absuive relationship so that alone made me way more cautious. It was a bad combination that resulted in my ROCD. I’m honestly not sure how to deal with this either. Reassurance only makes it worse (as usuall). I started out asking him if he made up this or that or got it from a show but then it developed into “well what if he was just bored or tired and it altered his mind and that doesn’t count” or “what if what he did or said was a sin” so I’m at a loss of how to handle it. I send you two love and hope we beat this OCD real soon.
- Date posted
- 5y
Thanks for sharing your experience. You’re right reassurance definitely doesn’t help does it?! So hard to resist the urge to get it though. Yes let’s stay strong and beat this ocd bully.
- Date posted
- 5y
OCD can include thoughts about literally anything
- Date posted
- 5y
I’ve had this, but more like I’d projected my own HOCD and POCD on to him. I analyzed and scrutinized his every move, etc., as I did myself when these were active themes for me. This has subsided for me now, but I guess it should be treated as any other OCD theme. Just label the thoughts, recognize the compulsions, etc., and work on them as you would in yourself. (Not that any of this is that easy though!) I hope this gets better for you. ?
- Date posted
- 5y
Thank you for your reply. I wish it would shift to another theme. I know most people say that whatever theme they have but constantly dealing with thoughts about the love of my life is so emotionally draining. Glad yours has subsided now.
Related posts
- Date posted
- 20w
Themes constantly switching. I’ve been suffering with real event ocd the last year and am currently in therapy treating it. it’s nowhere near as bad as it was last year and it’s felt like a nice break. there’s days where it gets bad but i can’t compare it to the stress of last year. However i’ve noticed every time i overcome a theme a new one hits me out of nowhere. i’ve suffered with ocd since i was 9, and ive had multiple themes. i’m in a 2 year relationship with my partner and it’s amazing. she’s probably my second proper relationship due to the fact my first relationship gave me so much fear to get into another one as i was cheated on, and needed a few years to get over that. i kind of guessed that ROCD would creep in at some point as it just felt inevitable. anyways, i know my partner is not cheating on me, she’s beyond loyal, we are so so in love but i think due to that first relationship i had, being cheated on really messed with my head. it’s like my brain is telling me my partner has someone else even though i know in my heart nothings going on, and i trust her with my life. i also think because im in the happiest relationship of my life, anything that would indicate loosing her makes me feel sick and riddled with anxiety. and i know that’s completely normal for everyone. i think the most frustrating thing is, is knowing that my OCD has finally crept into my relationship which is something i never wanted it to do. this is a brand new theme and i have no idea how to treat this. i will speak to my therapist but if anyone has been through this theme and any advice in the meantime i would really appreciate it :).
- Date posted
- 17w
Hi I'm new to all of this so I hope I'm doing this right. 5 years ago my 34 year marriage ended. My ex husband was a mentally and financially abusive, covert narcissist. All that is behind me now and I'm finally remembering who I am again. I'm in a relationship with a really great guy but the problem I'm having is relationship OCD. This has taken me by surprise really as I've had OCD from a very young age but never has it been about my relationship. I constantly check messages and go over and over conversations and convince myself my partner will eventually cheat. Almost every single person in his life I can feel threatened by and I hate this for him and also for me as I don't have any peace of mind. This is ruining the lovely relationship I know I could have so I really need to get a handle on it. Has anybody else experienced this and managed to control it?
- Date posted
- 14w
Hey, I really need your opinion – I think I might be struggling with Relationship OCD, and these thoughts are driving me crazy. I’ve been officially diagnosed with OCD, and I believe I also have ROCD. My obsessive thoughts often focus on one specific girl from my boyfriend’s past. She had messaged him a few times, and I think she liked him – but he never liked her back. He barely knew her, never found her attractive, and never wanted anything with her. She’s just a good friend of his best friend – not an ex or anything like that. He told me that he happened to be in the same group as her a couple of times – once at a birthday party and once at a fair – just because his best friend brought her along. He made it clear several times that she’s not his type at all, neither in looks nor in personality. He described her as someone who likes to go out and party a lot, and said that’s just not what he’s into. He also said he didn’t ask about her – these things were mentioned to him before our relationship. Almost all of this happened before we met – except for one thing: the fair. That was just one day before our second date, back when we had just started getting to know each other. She was with his friend group that night. He said he only said hi and bye to her, nothing more. The next day, when we met again, we were talking about his friends’ heights. He casually mentioned that his friend was the same height as that girl – 1.70 m. Ever since, I keep wondering: If she meant nothing to him, why did he even talk about her? Or did he actually talk to her that night, even though he said he didn’t? I know he said they barely exchanged a word, but somehow he still knew that detail. I just find that strange. Another example: He once said she was “kind of slutty.” Then, one or two months later, when I brought it up again, he said he didn’t know if she was or not, and that he didn’t care at all. That really confused me. I keep wondering: Why did he say something like that in the first place if he supposedly doesn’t care about her? I also notice this really frustrating cycle: When I talk to him about something that doesn’t make sense to me, I feel brief relief. But then, almost immediately, another thought or detail pops up that feels “off” again – and I feel like I have to bring that up, too. I can’t tolerate the uncertainty. It’s like an endless loop. These little “inconsistencies” – or what I perceive as inconsistencies – make me spiral, even though I do believe he’s being honest with me. I want to trust him. But I have this constant urge to bring up every little thing that doesn’t feel logically right. Every detail stays in my head for days, and it’s really hard not to talk about it. Does this sound like Relationship OCD to you? Do any of you go through this constant analyzing and doubt? I’d really appreciate your thoughts. I’m slowly ruining my own relationship..
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