Hi everyone. I hope you’re all well. Thanks for the space in the community ?? I’ve been diagnosed with OCD in the past month. For the past 2 years, I’ve had obsessive thoughts related to religion, existentialism, health, numbers, and harm. I have mainly mental compulsions, and a few related to numbers. In the past week, the harm thoughts have got out of hand. I want to share the particular thoughts I’ve had recently, but I’m worried that these are not normal, or not OCD. I’m worried that I’m going act out on these, or that it’s actually want I want to do. I’m scared I’ll be judged. I didn’t want these thoughts, but I worry that it’s happened because of my past mistakes and negative emotions. They feel horrible. At the moment, the anxiety is there, but I feel more numb and depressed. I‘m doubting whether I’ve lost emotion or insight, as it’s becoming harder to rationalize. Before I share the thoughts in a separate post, I’d like to ask: 1. How bad, in terms of thought content, can OCD get? 2. Does anyone else question whether it’s something worse than OCD? 3. Is it normal to feel numb and low after feeling anxious, by OCD? 4. Does anyone take Escitalopram (Lexapro) for their OCD? Any help or conversation would be much appreciated

Hi there! And welcome ?? I’m glad you got a diagnosis of OCD. That’s the first step and harder than most people think when dealing with mostly mental compulsions. The actual thoughts you’re having (like what they are saying, ie their content) don’t matter. The way we “know” that they are in fact OCD is by everything else you’ve written here: - they are unwanted and distressing - you respond with mental compulsions (ie ruminations, mental reviewing, checking, researching) - you’re worried these thoughts say something about who you are deep down and you’re obsessed with figuring them out This is quite typical OCD. Everything else you wrote (fear you’ll act on the thoughts, fear of judgment, anxiety, depression, numbness, loss of emotion, loss of stable sense of self) are all common complaints and symtoms. Since you got a formal diagnosis, I’m curious: are you seeing an OCD Specialist who is trained in ERP? This is the gold standard for OCD treatment and will go a long way in helping you recover. A few articles you may find interesting: https://ocdla.com/doubt-denial-ocd-5342 https://ocdla.com/harm-ocd-1-1982

I wouldn’t know how to answer your first three questions because everyone has their individual experiences with OCD. Perhaps someone will provide some insight later, but as for your last question, yes, my doctor prescribed me Lexapro for my OCD symptoms. I discontinued it due to its side effects, but I’m considering to begin taking it again and just give a chance for the side effects to subside, which in most cases does happen. Why? What’s your experience with Lexapro?

1. OCD can include terrible intrusive thoughts. 2. I’ve seen a lot of people here question if it’s actually something more/worse than OCD as well as question if it’s even OCD. I’ve questioned it myself. 3. Numbness or feeling low often accompanies anxiety, like the ups and downs of that same negative energy coin. 4. I’ve taken Lexapro for years now. For me it really helps with intrusive, violent images.